If the entire world switched to Communism…

communism-17143_640Monarchies really benefit at best 1% of the population.

Religious states really benefit at best 1% of the population.

Military states really benefit at best 1% of the population.

Military dictatorships really benefit at best 1% of the population.

Civilian dictatorships really benefit at best 1% of the population.

Communist states really benefit at best 0.1% of the population.

Capitalist states really benefit 5, 10, 20 or 30%+ of the population depending on how it all is implemented.

Communists…
But Capitalism doesn’t give 100%!
At least Communism promises 100%!
So let’s junk fully embrace Communism!

Funny how so many politicians, voters, mainstream media outlets, academicians, historians, liberals, intellectuals, economists and thinkers fall for that Grade 1 Bullshit!

© Sunil Rajguru

AAP’s free promises explained…

We will provide 15 lakh CCTV cameras (for our 15 lakh AAP supporters to conduct non-stop stings), free Wi-Fi (so that the 15 lakh stings may be passed about seamlessly), free power (so that the computers and mobiles never go off during these sting operations) and free water (so that hum sab chullu bhar paani main doob sake 2020 main).

Meanwhile our Internal Lokpal will be busy adjudicating these stings and never have time to focus on real issues and at the same time we will give millions of hours of free entertainment to all the hundreds of TV channels in India so that they will never ever focus on our governance or political misdeeds.

(Come to think of it, we should register ourselves as an entertainment company instead of a political party and we’d all be multi-billionaires in no time!)

© Sunil Rajguru

Aam Realignment Party…

After the latest sting, AAP calls horse trading as “political realignment”.

More suggestions…

Corruption = Economic realignment.

Not keeping promises = Verbal realignment.

U-turn = Reverse realignment.

Attack on BJP office = Realignment of stones.

Kicking out top leaders = Human resources realignment.

Kejriwal’s infamous dharna on the roads = Realignment of CM’s work space.

Khirki Extension raid = Realignment of blood and urine (samples).

Kejriwal running away from Delhi to Varanasi = Geographical realignment.

Kejriwal running away from Varanasi to Delhi = More geographical realignment.

Future power cuts = Realignment of electricity.

If taps go dry = Realignment of water.

Use of private plane instead of normal plane = Aerial realignment.

Anarchy = Non-stop democratic realignment.

Dubious funds from abroad = Global economic realignment.

Making Delhi government bankrupt and asking help from Centre = Realignment of funds.

Lying = Realignment of truth.

© Sunil Rajguru

When there was a sting in the AAP…

Whether they have 0 or 28 or 67/70 seats, their entertainment value is 100/100.
‪#‎AAPBreakUp‬

2013: Kejriwal quit in 49 days.
2015: Everyone else will quit within 49 days.

There were chain letters.
There were chain emails.
The current rage in AAP is chain stings.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Arvind the not so Aam Aadmi…

Yogendra Yadav-Prashant Bhushan…
2013—We are fighting the tyranny of UPA2.
2014—We are fighting the tyranny of Fascist Modi.
2015—We are fighting the tyranny of our honourable Supreme Leader.

Aam Aadmi–>Senior Aam Aadmi–>Chief Aam Aadmi–>Khaas Aadmi–>Honourable Supreme Leader.
(Meanwhile YoYa and PrBh demoted to Junior Aam Aadmis)

Wait for Pappu to take over, then those sidelined from the BJP, AAP and Congress can launch the ABCD Party—AAP BJP Congress Discards.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The curious case of the Communist Manifesto from 1848 right through 2015…

the-capital-683904_6401848…
Karl Marx: Comrades! I present to you the Communist Manifesto!
World: Wheeeeeeee!!!! We are saved!
2015: LOL! What a joke!

1917…
Vladimir Lenin: Comrades! I present to you the Communist Manifesto!
Russia: Wheeeeeeee!!!! We are saved!
1991: USSR totally collapses and is struggling well into 2015.

1947…
Jawaharlal Nehru: Comrades! I present to you the Communist Manifesto!
India: Wheeeeeeee!!!! We are saved!
1991: India goes bankrupt and RBI airlifts 47 tons of gold to Bank of England and an additional 20 tons of gold to Union Bank of Switzerland (just to raise $600 million). PV Narasimha Rao’s bold reforms save the day.

1949…
Mao Zedong: Comrades! I present to you the Communist Manifesto!
China: Wheeeeeeee!!!! We are saved!
1978: Deng Xiaoping junks the Communist Manifesto to embrace Capitalism and saves the day to turn China into a powerhouse. The common people continue to live under political Communist dictatorship though.

1977…
Jyoti Basu: Comrades! I present to you the Communist Manifesto!
West Bengal: Wheeeeeeee!!!! We are saved!
2011: People totally frustrated as the State turns into Waste Bengal.

2009…
Sonia Gandhi: Comrades! I present to you the Communist Manifesto!
India: Wheeeeeeee!!!! We are saved!
2014: Congress routed in the 2014 polls and gets an abysmal 44 Lok Sabha seats getting less than 100 seats for the first time ever. In the 2015 New Delhi polls it gets 0 seats to head towards extinction.

2011…
Mamata Banerjee: Comrades! I present to you the Communist Manifesto!
West Bengal: Wheeeeeeee!!!! We are saved!
2015: Waste Bengal turns into Waster Bengal as the people don’t know what to do next.

2015…
Arvind Kejriwal: Comrades! I present to you the Communist Manifesto!
New Delhi: Wheeeeeeee!!!! We are saved!
<Watch this space!!!>

Communist Manifesto.
New Communist Manifesto.
New Revised Communist Manifesto.
Yet More Newly Revised Communist Manifesto.
Actually forget it…
Just take Ye Ancient Communist Manifesto and pretend that it is new!

© Sunil Rajguru