Category Archives: Short Takes

2014 general elections results musings…

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171 million people voted for the BJP.
That’s a new world record.
Congress 2009: 153 million.
Obama 2008: 69 million.

80 million people watched Kolaveri D on YouTube.
135 million Indians watched the 2011 World Cup cricket final.
171 million Indians voted for the BJP in 2014.

Directions from the 2014 electorate…
No Left turns and U-turns.
Turn Right and keep straight.

Bees Saal Baad finally gets a sequel.
Greatest mandate since 1984 or…
Tees Saal Baad.

End of the Lohiaites?
LS Seats: Mulayam (5), Laloo (5), Nitish (2), Ajit (0).
(Paswan: 0 in 2009, survives with the help of Modi in 2014)

PM pretenders…
Pappu: No numbers even for Opposition Leader.
Kejri: No entry to Lok Sabha.
Nitish: 2 seats.

Making chai for The Wife.
She came tired from office and said…
Chaiwallah Pradhan Mantri bana hai, kamse kam chai to bana do!

2002-14: Blow to Modi.
2014: Blow to Modi Haters.

Strange Indian TV channels…
He’ll be sacked as CM.
He’ll lose as CM.
He’ll never be PM candidate.
BJP will just fall short.
May 16: We were right! We were right! We were right!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Goodbye Congress musings…

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Goodbye…
UPA2.
MMS.
Sonia.
Goodbye and see you in 5 years…
Mrs Vadra.
Try to stay humble for 5 years …
BJP.
What will you do for 5 years?
Pappu.

In 1919 Motilal became Congress President and formally launched the dynasty.
If Pappu-Pappini lose in 2019 too, then they can put flowers on its tombstone on the Centenary.

Now the entire mainstream media can proudly call themselves anti-establishment.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Pappu skipped the PM’s dinner…

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Pappu is an Indian superhero.
Specifically Mr India.
Invisible during key times like August Kranti agitation and #PappuSkipsPMDinner.

Pappu to MMS: Tumhare ministers ne itna khaaya ki main protest main tumhare dinner main nahin khaaunga.

Out of the country half the time.
Pappu = NRP.
(Non-Resident Politician)

New Congress ad posters for Pappu after May 16…
Main nahin (haara), Hum (haare).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Sonia-Manmohan Raj ends…

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Leader: Your RS term is coming to an end.
Manmohan: No I’m still a Rajya Sabha MP.
Leader: I meant Rubber Stamp term.
#TheekHai

The Dynasty Trinity…
Jawaharlal: The Creator.
Indira: The Preserver.
Sonia: The Destroyer.

Today…
I&B Minister: We don’t need an I&B Minister.
After May 16…
Sonia: We don’t need a Prime Minister.
P.S. But we didn’t have one from 2004-14.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The end of Manmohan Singh’s Prime Ministerial term…

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The story of Manmohan’s power as Prime Minister…
A 10-year-long power cut.

After May 16…
Manmohan to Modi: Can I continue hanging out at the PMO? Nobody ever notices me anyway.

Time to declare Manmohan the most powerful statue ever in our history and build a statue in the statue’s honour.

Manmohan: How will history remember me?
Citizen: Remember? Most of the times we forgot we even had a Prime Minister for the last 10 years!

The 10-year-term of the most power-fool leader in India’s history is coming to an end on May 16.

Sigh! My 10 years paid vacation is coming to an end.
#MMS #TheekHai

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More Priyanka Vadra musings…

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Sometime in 2012…
A Congress leader looking at Pappu’s speeches and thinking, “2014 gaya!”
Sometime now…
The Congress leader looking at Mrs Vadra’s speeches and thinking, “2019 bhi gaya!”

Priyanka Vadra is campaigning in 2 Lok Sabha constituencies and not in the other 541.
Based on TV coverage, you could be forgiven for thinking that it’s the other way round.

The TV channels motto…
Abki baar Vadra sarkaar.

Aalochana karna aasaan hai, kaam karna mushkil hai…
Says the woman who has done absolutely no kaam in her entire life.
#MrsVadra

Q: Some say Priyanka Vadra.
Some say Priyanka Gandhi.
Which is the right way to call her?
A: Priyanka Who?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru