Category Archives: Short Takes

When Pappu went on long leave…

Posted on by
Reply

Sonia will go on earned leave, Pappu on forced leave and Priyanka can’t take leave because she’s never worked in her life.

If Pappu quits the Congress, then it will be the biggest ‪#‎BlowToModi‬ ever.
A new decent leadership might actually put Congress on the path to revival.

Politics is in your shirt.
Politics is even in your sabbatical.

Pappu: Main chutti lena chahata hu.
Congress: Arre! Aapki ki toh May 16 2014 ko hi chutti hui thi.
Workers: Chhutta nahin hai bhai, aage jao!

Pappu is the only politician who went on sabbatical the day he joined politics.
He keeps re-appearing enough times to just to retain membership of his organization.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When the Kiwis thrashed the Poms at #CWC2015…

Posted on by
Reply

Reference: New Zealand ODI 20 February 2015.

During supper break…
England team: We are not hungry.
The cook: Yeah I saw you all devouring huge helpings of humble pie all day.

Duke of Wellington won the Battle of Waterloo in 1815.
The English met their Waterloo at the Battle of Wellington in 2015.

England is not even the best ODI cricket team in the British Isles.

Some time back Ab de Villiers hit 149 runs off 31 balls.
Today England hit 123 runs off 33.2 overs.
Angrezo, chullu bhar paani main doob maro!

England lost an ODI.
Had Brendon McCullum not got out, New Zealand would have won a T10 match.

Pre-McCullum era = 123 runs off 33.2 overs.
McCullum era = 105 runs off 7.1 overs.
Post-McCullum era = 20 runs off 5.1 overs.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

World Cup musings…

Posted on by
Reply

Total prize money up for grabs for 200+ players participating in 2015 ODI World Cup…
$10 million.
Yuvraj Singh’s fee for just appearing in IPL 2015…
$2.5 million.

The World Cup jinx…
Sri Lanka has never beaten Pakistan.
Pakistan has never beaten India.
India has never beaten South Africa.
South Africa has never beaten anyone in a knockout match.

A Tale of Three Summers…
Team India went from an Indian Summer to an Australian Summer and will return to an Indian Summer again.
Instead of a long rest, they’ll rush into a 1.5 month long IPL.

1992—India has beaten you in a World Cup. Will you give it back to them?
Pakistan—‪#‎WeWontGiveItBack‬—1996, 1999, 2003, 2011, 2015.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Mukhya Mantri Kejriwal musings…

Posted on by
Reply

2014…
Kaunsa film laga hai?
A—Dharna Zaroori Hai.
2015…
Kaunsa film?
A—Sequel. Dharna Mana Hai.
Par koi bolta asli naam—Dharna Zaroori Hai 2.
‪#‎DelhiTalkies‬

Same man with same ideology but…
2011: Great hope! What a challenger!
2012: Who is he? Media creation!
2013: Great hope! Modi challenger!
2014: Who is he? Media creation!
2015: Great hope! Modi challenger!
2016: ???

Wheel of fortune…
2014: BJP gets greatest Lok Sabha mandate since 1984.
AAP: 4 seats.
2015: AAP gets one of the greatest Assembly mandates since 1947.
BJP: 3 seats.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Kejriwal won Delhi by a landslide…

Posted on by
Reply

Delhi voter 1: Modi is dictator of India. We have to do something.
Delhi voter 2: What?
Delhi voter 1: Make Kejri dictator of New Delhi!
Delhi voter 2: Great idea!

1990s BJP Delhi CM…
Khurana, err Verma, err Sushma…
1998 Delhi voter: Forget it!
2010s BJP Delhi CM…
Goel, err Harsh Vardhan, err Mukhi, err Upadhyaya, err Bedi…
2015 Delhi voter: Forget it!

One explanation…
Anti-incumbency votes of Sheila government
+Pro-incumbency votes of 49-day government
+Anti-incumbency votes of Modi government
= 67/70 seats!

In 2013, BJP beat AAP 32-28.
In 2015, AAP thrashed BJP 67-3.
Both parties have exactly the same core ideologies.
Voters’ attitudes have changed.

If the entire Delhi BJP MLAs can fit on a cycle, then the entire Congress MLAs can fit on an electron of an atom.

2014: Kejriwal is CM for 49 days.
2015: Bedi is CM candidate for 25 days.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More #PaanchSaalKejriwal musings…

Posted on by
Reply

AAP after May 16…
Chaar bach gaye lekin party fir bhi baaki hai.
Delhi BJP Unit after February 10…
Woh gaana gaane ka huq bhi hum se chheen liya gaya hai!

Before: The AAP should merge into the Congress.
Now: The Congress should merge into AAP.

Dharnawaale: 67/70.
(Get ready for August Kranti 2015)
Ex-IPS led party: 3/70.
(Delhiites finally take their revenge over Delhi Police)
Sheila’s 15-year-legacy: 0/70.
(Pappu who?)

BJP 1998-2020…
Delhi door hai!

Now New Delhi will demand total Independence and freedom from Modi. AAPistan Zindabad!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru