Sir, will you have your usual Martini shaken, not stirred.
Pierce Brosnan: No thank you, I have my pan masala.
India finally conquers UK!
It appears that many James Bond fans are both shaken and stirred.
#PierceBrosnan #PanBahar
Pan masala endorsers…
1. James Bond.
2. Agent Vinod.
3. Alex Parrish. (Quantico)
4. Ajay Singh Rajput. (Baby)
In India he will soon be called nothing but…
Paanwallah Brosnan.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
#Hillary
#Deplorables Rubbishes Trump voters.
#BasementDwellers Rubbishes Sanders voters.
#Podesta Rubbishes own voters.
The leaked documents on the sins of Hillary could now fill an entire library.
Hillary-Obama West Asia mismanagement may have cost tens of thousands of lives.
At least it’s open to debate.
How many did Trump kill?
“Hitler” has become a joke.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Do you see the pattern?
No Gujarat development.
No Modi wave.
No Modi mandate (31%).
No India development.
No #SurgicalStrike.
Schrodinger’s Strike.
It is claimed to have not happened and condemned for having happened at the same time.
#SurgicalStrike
Why release #SurgicalStrike proof to satisfy #AdarshLiberals who will never be satisfied. Ever.
Those happy with #SurgicalStrike don’t want proof.
Those asking for proof will never be convinced anyway and may spend time debunking proof.
Einstein—E = mc².
Kejri—Abhi ke abhi convert karke dikha!
Schrondinger—If we take a box and close it…
Kejri—Abhi ke abhi box khol ke dikha!
I will offer 0.00% proof for my 1001 allegations…
…but…
Modi must offer proof of #SurgicalStrike to prove Pak is not a liar.
#Kejri
Abuse up front.
Backhanded compliments.
That’s all that Kejri has to offer Modi.
Modi is India. India is Modi.
Modi Haters are India Haters. India Haters are Modi Haters.
#SurgicalStrike
Things are coming to such a head that even if Modi wins 2019, Kejri-Pappu & Co. will agitate saying: Show us the proof!
They called the Ishrat case a Fake Encounter.
They have supersized that.
Now they are calling it a Fake #SurgicalStrike Encounter.
#SanjayNirupam
A. #SurgicalStrikes are bad. They go against the spirit of Nehru.
B. #SurgicalStrikes are good. Nehru masterminded them.
Congressi: OK, now let’s toss the coin.
Had PV Narasimha Rao launched #SurgicalStrikes in the 1990s, terrorism may have ended then and he might have won another term.
1989-2014—Thousands killed in Kashmir terrorism.
This is before Modi came, Balochistan was raised & #SurgicalStrike happened.
#AdarshLiberals
Hundreds of strikes by Pakistani Army trained terrorists.
Yawn!
1 #SurgicalStrike by Indian Army.
Sparta!!!
Height of expectations…
Calling for Pakistani artistes to condemn #UriAttacks when many Indian artistes refuse point blank to do so.
Kanoon saboot mangta hai!
In the case of #SurgicalStrike…
Chor saboot mangta hai!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Pakistani Army most cowardly on Earth.
Loses all conventional wars.
Sends civilians (terrorists) to do its dirty deeds.
#Baramulla
Top 5 most powerful men in deciding Pakistan’s fate…
1. Obama.
2. General Sharif.
3. ISI Chief.
4. Hafiz Saeed.
5. Nawaz Sharif.
#SadButTrue
Pak vicious cycle…
1950s/60s: We will never forget Partition.
1970s-90s: We will never forget 1971.
Post-2000: We will never forget how a nuclear power was humiliated in Kargil.
Like Alcoholics Anonymous, Pakistan has a programme called Terrorists Anonymous.
They identify & train them but pretend they are anonymous.
1 bitter Partition—Millions dead/hurt/displaced.
4 wars—1947, 1965, 1971, 1999.
Hundreds of terror attacks.
You think peace will be simple?
India 1947-2016.
All we are saying is give peace a chance.
Pakistan 1947-99.
All we are saying is give war a chance.
Pakistan 1989-2016.
All we are saying is give terror a chance.
Pakistan has been attacking us for donkeys years.
This is retaliation, not escalation.
#SurgicalStrikesAgainstPak
Pakistan wants J&K in its entirety.
Have a million talks at a hundred levels.
How do you sort that out?
#AmanKiAshaIsChamanKiBhasha
Pakistan has been threatening India since 1947.
Sending terrorists since 1989.
Amazing how some Indians have problems with one #SurgicalStrike in 2016.
Number of those killed by Pakistani trained terrorists is greater than 9/11.
Reaction by India so far is not even 1% of America.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
200 million voted for “Fascist” Modi.
52% voted for “racist” Brexit.
Roughly half of US supports “Hitler” Trump.
Maybe problem with “allegation hurlers”, not people.
Obama 2008 slogan…
Change we can believe in!
Hillary 2016 slogan…
That change which never came which we’re still trying to believe in!
Obama 2008 slogan…
Yes we can!
Hillary 2016 slogan…
We didn’t, but we still can, just 4 more years!
No Pak terror state.
No suing Saudis.
Surveillance State.
Targeting Snowden-Manning-Assange.
Negligence with secret mails OK.
#LiberalObama
Hillary to Pak: You can’t keep snakes in your backyard and expect them only to bite your neighbors. You know, eventually those snakes are going to turn on whoever has them in the backyard.
Q: Great! But aren’t you the handler of the snake handler?
US pensioners’ polls…
No matter who wins, towards the end of the term the President will be 70+ and the Vice President 60+.
Obama retires at 55.
Had Sanders become President, he would have turned his country into the USSR.
(United States Socialist Republic)
From 2017, we should have an Obama Day.
When all day we will talk and talk great things and vow “Yes we can!” but actually do no work.
Sanders, like all Communists, is a coward at heart.
Now forget fighting Hillary, he can’t even speak against her.
#BasementDwellers
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Rajiv oversees Sikh genocide and Kashmiri Pandit exodus.
Sonia: Modi—Maut ka saudagar!
Sonia oversaw massive defence decline 2004-14.
Pappu: Modi—Jawano ka khoon ka dalaal!
Nehru let PoK get away.
Indira communalized J&K.
Rajiv allowed Pandit exodus to happen.
Terrorism gained foothold under Rao.
Huge mess to clean.
#Nehru
Don’t want J&K!
Don’t want UN SC seat!
Don’t want Indus water!
Don’t want Aksai Chin!
Don’t want US N-deal!
Don’t want…
#AdarshLiberal: Wow! Foreign Policy whiz!
Pappu…
Computers kaun laya?
Reforms kaun laya?
Democracy kaun laya?
X100 kaun laya?
Aside: Ab Cong jeetega?
Modi: Pappu kaun laya?
Cong haara!
US film on alcoholism: The Lost Weekend.
Indian film on UPA’s corruption, inefficiency, misgovernance and defence decline: The Lost Decade.
#PrashantKishore slowing down…
4th Gear: Helped Modi.
3rd Gear: Helped Nitish.
2nd Gear: Invariably helped Lalu too.
1st Gear: Struggling with Pappu.
Next: The brakes. The End.
Pappu cannot do one thing wrong. (Mera Pappu mahaan)
Modi cannot do one thing right. (Tera Modi beimaan)
#AdarshLiberal #Congress
These versions by Sunil Rajguru