Category Archives: Indian Politics

The Kejri suffering continues unabated…

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Poor (allegedly economically) Kejri.
Poor (fate-wise) Delhi wallahs.

An internal survey shows that Kejri is god and the whole world worships him.
Since this is not so, it shows that not only EVMs, but the world itself is rigged.

2011…
Kejri: Any minister without corruption charges out there?
2017…
Kapil: I am the only AAP minister without corruption charges!

Full-circle…
2011.
Kejri: All politicians are accepting crores of cash.
2017.
Kapil: I saw Kejri accept crores of cash.

Sisodia: Kejri uncle, aaj Assembly main kya khele?
Kejri: Chalo EVM-EVM khelte hai!
Sisodia: Weeee!!!! Bada maja aaya!

Kejrwal thinks that people are total fools.
Unfortunately with 67/70 seats in his kitty, he has every right to think so.

Double dhamaka!
2013: Entry of AAP will improve politics!
2017: Exit of AAP will improve politics!

Tomorrow AAP to banks…
Hand over your servers-safes for 3 hours and we’ll prove that money is not safe in banks.

Kejri: Leader of Opposition (Modi).
Kapil Mishra: Leader of Opposition (Kejri).

Lalu to Kejri: Ye kya hai nautanki? Hum to paper ballots ko bhi hack karte the ek zamaane main!
#BoothCapturing

Even if paper ballots are handed over for three hours, they can be tampered with.
#EVMNautanki #AAP

So France gets its Kejriwal.
An artificially created inexperienced party that storms the elections.
#Macron

Lalu. Akhilesh. Kejri.
Same to same.
Useless.
English media once really loved all of them.

Kejriwal was like this from Day 1.
AAP was like this from Day 1.
It’s getting difficult to hide it nowadays, that’s all.

Latest AAP reality show…
Tragedy Days With Kapil.

Yugpurush Kejri is such that even if convicted he will remain India’s most honest politician.

Old.
Live life king size.
New.
Live life Kejri size.
(Arthaat, “aam” aadmi gaya tel lene)

In 2013 Kejri said he would remove corruption.
He forgot to add that he would then transfer it all into his home.

Next New Delhi budget will have the following sections…
1. Outstation ads.
2. Anti-defamation fees.
3. DIA (Delhi Investigating agency).
4. Chai-samosas.

Time for someone to publish a book titled…
The 1001 Controversies of Arvind Kejriwal.

Propaganda Minister.
External (out of Delhi) Affairs Minister.
Spymaster. (Feedback Cell)
The Buck Stops at Sisodia.
Anything but Chief Minister of Delhi.
#Kejri

Yesterday…
Do you know, 150+ chargesheeted MPs are in the Lok Sabha!
—Sri Sri Kejri Baba.
At the current rate, tomorrow…
Do you know, there are 150+ chargesheets against the AAP!

The conundrum for April 1.
Is today #AprilFoolDiwas or #PappuDiwas or #KejriDiwas?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The tragedy that is Lalu…

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#JungleRaj returned to Bihar on November 8, 2015.
The media merely brought this to notice in a big way on May 6, 2017.
#BiharKaCMShahabuddin

Nitish rules himself out as Prime Minister.
By the time Lalu is done with him, Nitish will rule himself out as Chief Minister too.

Lalu was voted to power in 1990, 1995, 2000 & 2015.
His family may be voted many times in the future.
Gone case. Kucch nahin ho sakta.

Lalu.
Arrested in 1997.
Convicted in 2013.
Still having a jolly good time in 2017.
Still immensely respected by many.

Lalu proved to be India’s worst politician the year he took over in 1990.
Since then he grew worse every year but adored more every year by #AdarshLiberals.

Lalu ke chele chaara khaate hai.
Choohe daaru peete hai.
#AdarshLiberals mewa khaate hai.
Aam janta galat vote ke silsile main gam khaate hai roz.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The EVM controversy rages on…

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The entire EVM controversy, arguments and proofs can be summed up in six words…
We lost.
EVMs can be hacked.

How do we beat Modi?
Opposition: We can’t, so let’s rake one useless issue after another, pray and hope for the best.
#EVMs

2004—Congress won when BJP was in charge.
2014—BJP won when Congress was in charge.
2015—BJP lost Delhi/Bihar.
2017—Largest party in 2/5 States.
#EVMs

EVMs first used in State elections in 1998.
Almost Bees Saal Baad suddenly saare parties jaag gaye.

Modi: Make in India.
Pappu: Make (holiday) outside India.
Modi: Go digital.
Pappu: Go paper.
#EC #EVMs

If you go by circumstantial evidence…
AAP getting 67/70 seats in Delhi is the fishiest thing that has ever happened in Indian polls.
#EVMs

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

To rule India, the chances are greater if you don’t have a spouse…

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For a whopping 56/70 years, or 80% of the time, the direct or de facto ruler of India has been spouseless…

Rulers without a spouse…

Jawaharlal Nehru, widower: 1947-64.

Indira Gandhi, widow: 1966-77, 80-84.

PV Narasimha Rao, widower: 1991-96.

AB Vajpayee, bachelor: 1998-2004.

Sonia Gandhi, widow: 2004-14.

Narendra Modi, single: 2014-__.

(So Pappu has a good chance of getting elected in 2024 or 2029 if he doesn’t get married by then.)

Other high profile single politicians post-2000…

Late President APJ Abdul Kalam.

Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Yogi Adityanath.

West Bengal Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee.

Orissa Chief Minister Naveen Patnaik.

Late Tamil Nadu Chief Minister Jayalalitha.

Haryana Chief Minister Manohar Lal Khattar.

Uttarakhand Chief Minister Trivendra Singh Rawat.

Assam Chief Minister Sarbananda Sonowal.

Ex Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Mayawati.

Water Minister Ex Madhya Pradesh Chief Minister Uma Bharati.

Goa Chief Minister and ex-Defence Minister Manohar Parrikar is a widower.

Bihar Chief Minister Nitish Kumar is a widower.

Rajasthan Chief Minister Vasundhara Raje is a divorcee.

And they can’t stop the Modi juggernaut…

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Red is dead.
Saffron is on.

Before 2014, nationwide Congress always had more MLAs than BJP.
Now Congress has close to 800 and BJP 1400 odd.

100 days before a poll: Modi haarega haarega!
50 days: haarega!
10 days: haarega!
1 day: haarega!
D-Day: Arre jeet gaya! Chalo next time…

Big 3 of World Tennis.
Fed. Rafa. Djoko.
Big 3 of Indian politics.
Nehru. Indira. Modi.

Bihar had the Mahagatbandhan.
Retrospectively the UP Pappu + Akhilesh alliance can be called the Mahagadbad.

Anna is threatening another agitation, against Modi.
Means he’s opening another political training course for Kejri ka sequel.

2011. All politicians are corrupt—Kejri.
2017. Kejri is corrupt—All politicians.

Does anyone remember that 6 years back the nation came to a standstill, an old man fasted, a new party was born over Lokpal?
Where’s the Lokpal?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When #YogiAdityanath took charge of Uttar Pradesh…

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#YogiAdityanath looks like #VinDiesel.
The Left-liberal-media-intellectual-Lutyens lobby feels that Modi has pulled a Fast one on them and hence are Furious.

The world turned Left so much that it came around on the other side and became Right.
#Modi #Brexit #Trump #YogiAdityanath

Q: Kejri destroying Delhi.
Lalu destroying Bihar.
Mamata destroying West Bengal.
Your comments?
#AdarshLiberal: #YogiAdityanath “WILL” destroy UP!!!

In baseball, you don’t know nothing.
—Yogi Berra.
In politics, you don’t know nothing.
—#YogiAdityanath.

The future ain’t what it used to be.
—Yogi Berra.
That future is already here!
—#YogiAdityanath.

It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.
—Yogi Berra.
I know! Just look at me!
—#YogiAdityanath.

Whoever the media backs gets destroyed.
Whoever the media attacks does really well.

Most media outlets saying “controversial” Yogi appointed.
Have Pappu, Kejri, Lalu, Mamata, Nitish, Sonia, Sibal… seen no controversies?

Chief Ministers younger than Pappu…
#YogiAdityanath.
Devendra Fadnavis.
Pema Khandu.

BJP picks up youth leader to be Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh.
(Kyun bhai? #YogiAdityanath Pappu se do saal chhota hai, aur do baar jyaada Lok Sabha polls jeet chuka hai)

Lotus blooms in the mud.
UPA2 created so much mud all across the country, that the lotus is still spreading like wildfire.

From 2004-09 an extra constitutional authority ruled India with an abysmal mandate of 27% Lok Sabha seats.
Funny to see its supporters doubt every other mandate.
#ElectionResults

These versions by Sunil Rajguru