Category Archives: Indian Politics

Really bad Diggy Raja PJs…

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∙ Many years back, Diggy Raja lost his voice.
Then he became the world’s first recipient of a foot-for-tongue transplant.
God forgive him for he knows not what he says!

∙ The protestors are RSS…
Baba is RSS…
Anna is RSS…
The shoe hurler is RSS…
This is RSS…
That is RSS…
The only RSS with relation to Diggy Raja stands for “Really Stupid Statements”!

∙ Diggy Raja is a great fan of Goebbels.
Goebbels once said something to the effect of…
If you repeat a lie a hundred times it becomes a truth. The greater the lie, the greater chance it has of becoming a greater truth.
The Diggy Raja remixed version…
If you say a hundred stupid statements a hundred times, they still remain stupid statements, but atleast the speaker feels smart!
The more stupider the statement, the greater the sense of smartness.
(Now you know why Diggy Raja feels chuffed all the time)

© Sunil Rajguru

Raavan Raj at Ram Lila grounds…

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Recently Baba Ramdev was removed from the Ram Lila grounds in New Delhi over the Lokpal agitation issue…

Some musings on the issue…

∙ Old slogan: Sonia nahi ye aandhi hai, doosri Indira Gandhi hai.
New Slogan: Satyagrahi nahin ye atyachari hai, doosri Emergency hai…

∙ Ab to bas Congress se corruption free atmosphere ke liye bheek hi maangna padega…
Ek Lok Pal Bill Anna ke naam pe dede re Baba!

∙ This is how Mahatma Gandhi became famous and the British Empire collapsed.
Doesn’t the Congress Empire know its history?

∙ Baba Ramdev probably got his millionth video byte on Indian TV news.
Jitni shaurat zindagi bhar Yoga se nahin mili hogi, us-se dugni anshan aur arrest se mil gayi!

∙ Is Manmohan Singh going to appoint a Propaganda Minister?
Digvijay Singh seems to be the perfect Goebbels.

∙ Police action was effected late after midnight to avoid banner headlines in the newspapers.
Somehow the government forgot about the news channels and Internet.

∙ Yesterday: Lokpal Wars.
Today: The Corrupt Empire Strikes Back.
Tomorrow: Return of the Satyagrahi?

∙ Waise ye Lokpal Bill hain kya? Ab main bhool gaya hu. Bas Anna Baba ki kahani ban ke raha gayi hai…

© Sunil Rajguru

First DMK, then ADMK, now ARDMK…

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New party launched in Tamil Nadu called ARDMK.

ARDMK stands for…

Andimuthu Raja Dayanidhi Maran Kanimozhi party.

Motto: United by 2G and unfettered by zeroes.

Strengths: Unlimited funds.

Ideology: Totally mobile across any political spectrum.

Qualifications: Engineered Independent India’s biggest ever exposed scam. All founders chargesheeted and two jailed.

Future Outlook: Waiting for the famous Tamil Nadu anti-incumbency in 2016, by which time all chargesheets, jailings and scams would have been forgotten.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Modern bakwaas shayari…

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Hum bhi kabhi sub-editor the,
Kanimozhi bhi kabhi sub-editor thi!
Hum hain gareeb par azaad,
Woh hain Arabpati magar qaid…
Chalo, filaal yahi sahi!

Ghalib bhi shayar tha,
Kanimozhi bhi shayar kahalati,
Ghalib aur shayari dono gaye tel lene,
Ab paisa hi kavita hain…
Paisa hi nagma hain…
Paisa hi shayar hain…
Paisa hi shayar ki shayari…

Waise sabsa bada ameer to hain Mahatma Gandhi,
Lakhon nahin…
Crore-o nahin…
Arabo nahin…
Kharabo ke note-o ke dher pe muskura rahe hain,
Note gora ho ya kaala,
Paise ka hain bol baala!

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Post Assembly poll filmi musings…

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Mamata: Guzaarish hai ki mere paas Railways rahe.
Sonia: Hmmm… waise bhi tumne Railways ko Guzaarish ka Hrithik bana ke chhod diya!
West Bengal: Arre! Guzaarish ka Hirthik to hum ban ke raha gaye 34 saal main!
Mamata kya hai, koi na jaane…
Dawa hai ya euthnasia?
Jald pata chalega…

Jaya: Ab yahan ke hum Sikander, chahe to kar le Karuna, Kani wagere ko apne jail ke andar…

Buddha: Hum Dono Ghayal ho gaye re!
Karuna: Chinta mat kar, Indian voter ko Ghajini ki tarah short term memory loss hai, agle elections tak sab bhool jaayenge.
Buddha: Sahi re! Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna!

Prakash Karat, Sitaram Yechuri and Buddhadeb decided to unwind in India Coffee House.
They were discussing Bollywood films.
A bearer came and was asked, “3 Idiots dekha kya?”
The bearer replied, “Wohi to dekh raha hu abhi!”

Sonia Gandhi at the Centre.
Jayalalitha from the South.
Mayawati and Shiela Dixit from the North.
Mamata Banerjee from the East.
Pratibha Patil from the West.
Now Showing: Mother India

Now showing in Chennai for 20 years and running…
Kabhi Karuna Kabhi Amma

Golmaal 1: Adarsh
Golmaal 2: CWG
Golmaal 3: 2G
Coming soon: Golmaal 4, will be released before the 2012 elections.

Singh is King gaya tel lene…
Ab bolo…
Amma is Queen
Didi is Queen
etc

Overheard…
Congress to DMK: Hum Aapke Hain Kaun?

Now Showing in Kolkata…
My Name is Communist (And I am not a failure!)

Coming in 2012
Voters: The Chase Begins Again

© Sunil Rajguru

Downright terrible contemporary rhymes celebrating woman power…

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The Centre has Sonia Gandhi.
The South has Jayalalitha. The North has Mayawati and Shiela Dixit. The East has Mamata.
Next is West?
(Or is that Pratibha Patil who rose from the West, straight to Rashtrapati Bhavan?)

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the election hill,
To fetch a pail of voters,
Jack came down and broke his crown,
And Jill took all the honours.

Note: Replace Jack with Karuna, Buddha etc
Replace Jill with Jaya, Mamata etc

Little Jack Horner

Little Jack Karuna,
Sat in the corner,
Eating his telecom pie;
He put in his thumb,
And pulled out a 2G bomb,
And said ‘What a bad boy am I!

Rain rain go away

Women, women go away,
Don’t come again another day.
Buddha and Karuna want to play.

Little Bo-Peep

Little Buddha-Karuna have lost their voters,
And can’t tell where to find them;
Leave them till 2015, And they’ll come home,
Wagging their tails behind them.

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

Election after election, day after day,
Men stuck, no breath no motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.

Women, women, everywhere,
And all the men did shrink;
Women, women, everywhere,
Oldies Buddha and Karuna did sink.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru