Category Archives: Indian Politics

A new way to measure wealth in India…

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If you have Rs 33 per day in India, then you are rich.

There are 121 crore Indians.

So with Rs 3993 crores, you can make each and every Indian rich for a day.

A Forbes billionaire can make every Indian rich for approximately a day.

Hasan Ali can make every Indian rich for about a fortnight.

Mukesh Ambani can make every Indian rich for about a month.

The only person who can make India rich for more than one month is Andimuthu Raja.

Bottomline: So how wealthy are you?
That depends on how many Indians you can make rich for how many days.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Some political musings…

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Superlatives
Fast. (Anna)
Faster. (Modi)
Fastest: (Vaghela)

What’s in a name?
It is no longer United. (The PM disconnected from the rest of the ministers)
It is no longer Progressive. (Suppressing free thought, an initial toothless Lokpal Bill, a communal Communal Bill, rejecting a strong Sports Bill…)
It is no longer a close Alliance. (TMC tantrums, DMK going alone in the local polls…)
The UPA is fast unraveling.
Un-united Regressive Mis-alliance anyone?

The fast and the furious…
Everyone’s either going on a fast or pulling a fast one…
The political landscape is fast changing and Modi is fast finding acceptance…
But the only thing that matters is that prices and inflation are fast increasing and the common man is plain furious.

If Tihar re-organized its management…
Head of Telephone Exchange: A Raja
Head of Tihar Annual Games: Suresh Kalmadi
Treasurer: Madhu Koda
PRO: Amar Singh
Editor, Tihar Times: Kanimozhi
Coming soon (unconfirmed) on a two-week training programme…
Kiran Bedi, Om Puri, Prashant Bhushan & Arvind Kejriwal.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

We all follow Anna…

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Anna: Is desh ko jail bharo andolan ki zaroorat hai.
Impact: MPs and former MPs start lining up in Tihar jail. All the Reddy politicians down south either get arrested or chargesheeted.

Anna: Digvijay ko mental asylum bhejo.
Maya: Ye accha idea hain! Julian Assange ko bhi mental asylum bhejo!

Anna: Ek strong bill hi corruption khatam karega.
Maken tries Annagiri immediately after the fast with a strong Sports Bill, but unfortunately falls flat.

Anna: Chahe to Parliament ka gherao karo!
Advani: Ye accha idea hai. (And for days the BJP protests outside parliament instead of inside it).

Anna: Anshan sahi raasta hai.
Government planners: To food inflation ko badne do, phir sabko majbooran anshan karna hi padega!

Anna: Main politicians ke khilaaf kuch bhi boloonga.
Poor Kiran, Om Puri, Kejriwal, Prashant Bhushan try exactly the same thing and promptly get privilege notices.

© Sunil Rajguru

Diggy Raja musings…

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Anna Hazare definitely needs Z+ Security from the verbal assaults and character assassination attempts from the fleet Congress spokespersons, particularly Diggy Raja.

Who says India doesn’t have good stand-up comedians?
Diggy Raja is world class.

Given enough time, Diggy Raja will blame the RSS even for JFK’s assassination.

Diggy Raja is totally sane.
It’s the world that’s mad.

Height of conspiracy…
Diggy Raja is an RSS agent.

If Diggy Raja was made the Lokpal, then he’d shut the office in two minutes flat saying that there is no corruption in India.

Jitna fast Anna ko stomachache nahin deta, us-se kahin jyaada Diggy Raja us-se headache deta hain.

Arundhati Roy is not an Independent Republic. Diggy Raja is.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Hum sab bhrastachari hai…

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Enough of anti-corruption talk. Even the corrupt need their private space…

Please sing to the tune of Hum sab Bharatiya hai and due respects and apologies to all NCC cadets as I have been one for many years in the past…

Hum sab bhrastachari hai,
Hum sab bhrastachari hai.

Apni manzil ek hai,
Ha ha ha ek hai,
Ho ho ho ek hai,
Hum sab bhrastachari hai.

2G ki spectrum rani hai,
Sartaj CWG hai,
Sadiyon se humne scams ko apne chhal se pala hai,
Desh ko lootne ki khatir hum har khatra utha lenge,
Hum har khatra utha lenge.

Bikhre bikhre scams hain,
Hum lekin jhilmil ek hai,
Ha ha ha ek hai,
Ho ho ho ek hai,
Hum sab bhrastachari hai.

Bade chhote neta bhi hain yahan,
Aur bureaucrats bhi hain yahan,
Black money ka paper trail hai kahin,
Aur hame pakadna nahin aasan!

Ek hi apna bhagwan hain, aur uska naam paisa hai,
Ek hi apna bhagwan hai, aur uske ke kai roop dekhe hain humne,
Lekin jagmag ek hai,
Ha ha ha ek hai,
Ho ho ho ek hai.

Hum sab bhrastachari hai,
Hum sab bhrastachari hai.

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

Main bhi Anna, tu bhi Anna…

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Uncle: Beta, tum bade hokar Gandhi banoge ya Nehru?
Beta: Par main to already Anna ban chuka hu!

According to the World Population Census, the fastest growing country in the world in the month of August was Nation Anna.

The April agitation was a first step towards the August agitation, which is the first step towards drafting a strong Lokpal Bill, which will be the first step in the long and tough battle against corruption… (First step or Last hope?)

© Sunil Rajguru