Category Archives: Indian Politics

How the Con grass grows below their feet…

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There has been a total Pawar failure…

Great problems with Raja Yog…

Thanks to the 2G, lagta hain ki is government ka Maran aa gaya hai…

That man keeps Singhing and Digging the party’s grave…

The response to Civil Society was totally UnSibalized…

The spokesmen have totally Tewarized the nation…

There has been a great amount of Mamata lost between the allies…

The Government was doing so fine in 2009, the problems were almost overcome: Sonia and yet so far…

Ab to kisi ka bhi Man nahi moh liya, Singh is no longer King….

Singh is SinKing? Singh is BreaKing? Singh is ConKing? Singh is ChoKing? Singh is CracKing? Singh is PanicKing? Singh is BacktracKing? Singh is HoodwinKing? Singh is ShaKing? Singh is SulKing? Singh is ShrinKing? …

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Lokpal’s Divine Comedy…

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1963: Lokpal Version 1.0.
Creator: Papa Singhvi. PM: Pardada Nehru.

1968: Version 2.0.
Introducer: Papa Bhushan. PM: Dadi Gandhi.

1971: v3.0. 1977: v4.0.

1985: v5.0. PM: Papa Gandhi.

1989: v6.0. 2001: v7.0. 2005: v8.0. 2008: v9.0.

2011: v10.0 not cleared by Parliament.

Rejoice!
v11.0 now to be branded as Lokpal Strong Ultra Version 11.0.

Dramatis personae & Descandants, circa 2011…
Beta Singhvi (Head of Standing Committee), Mamma Gandhi (Congress President), Beta Bhushan (Team Anna) and Mahatma Gandhi Version 2.0 (a.k.a. Anna Hazare).

Lonely Lokpal’s song…
Saare bhrastachariyo ka bojh hum uthate hain,
Sarkare aate hain, sarkare jaate hain,
Par hum yahin pe khade raha jaate hain…

Burning Question…
Will Beta Gandhi finally manage to make it a reality when he finally becomes Prime Minister one day?

Inscription for all those staring at the Lokpal Hell Gate…
Abandon hope all ye who enter here!

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Current political musings…

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Tangled up in notes
I’m sending you a note.
Note a good idea.
But it’s led to a loss of crores of currency notes!
You ‘note’y boy!

Overheard
US: What would I do without you?
Pak: But you never had me!
US: Then let’s divorce!
Pak: But you’ll still have to pay me alimony!

The curious case of the liquor baron
Wanted to launch an airline, but didn’t.
Saw his poor neighbour do the same.
Pestered him to sell out.
On failing, launched an airline himself.
Finally managed to take over neighbour’s above mentioned airline.
Curiously renamed it “Red”, a financially inauspicious term.
Shut down Red.
Turbulence in the air.
Turbulence on the ground.
Turbulence in the head.
And Red’s gonna to be dead.
Motto: Don’t gimme Red!

This version by Sunil Rajguru

What Manmohan Singh said (and didn’t say)

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I trust my ministers fully (to make mistakes).

The BJP cannot topple us (as we are capable of falling on our own).

There is no dissension in the Cabinet (nobody ever listened to anyone anyway).

We have got a mandate to rule from 2009-14 (So please stop asking about things that happened before 2009 and keep quiet till 2014).

No matter what we will stay the course (even though we are on course for disaster right now).

World economic crisis is deepening (so stop bugging me about national inflation, price rise etc).

The people of Palestine have a right to have their voice heard (but the people of India, please shut up).

The Delhi blast is a grave reminder for us regarding terror (we keep getting such reminders all the time and are totally used to it by now).

Development must be in tune with “felt needs” of the people (“felt” refers to only what the Congress feels).

Nuclear energy is the future (of all agitations across India).

I salute Anna Hazareji (only because PC’s kick totally failed).

The BJP is behaving like a proper Opposition (how improper!)

© Sunil Rajguru

Manmohan Singh’s magic wand…

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Rs 32 per day poverty line limit: Crores become rich overnight.

Alcohol classified as food: Millions of drunkards suddenly become well-fed.

Throw BJP MPs in jail: Voila! Bribe becomes entrapment!

Give dole to crores of villagers for votes: Call it Mahatma Gandhi NREGA.

Squeeze Raja, Maran and Kanimozhi: Take away heat from self and PC.
(“Collective Responsibility” has been dressed with the Cloak of Invisibility)

Note: All tricks learnt at the Hogwash School of Indian Magic.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

2G musings…

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Of course Manmohan has a magic wand to end corruption…
Jajajantaram Mamantaram Chidambaram…
Voila! He’s innocent!

World’s best boss…
Court: Why can’t you investigate him?
CBI: But I just gave him the World’s Best Boss Award!
Where is it now?
PC: I gave the award to MMS!
MMS: And I gave it to Madam!
Madam: And I’m saving it for beta!

2 be or not 2 be…
This year, Manmohan Singh completed 20 years as a politician.
So the 2decade old politico, the 2nd most powerful person in India into his 2nd term is leading a 2nd string government thanks to the 2G scam…
…and UPA2G has been reduced to a Tu Tu Main Main slanging match all round.
Touche!
What will Hamlet Singh do now?

Meanwhile, singing is heard in two party headquarters, one by an 83-year-old man and one by a 41-year-old youth…
Hum honge Pradhan Mantri, hum honge Pradhan Mantri ek din,
Ho ho ho ho,
Man main hain vishwas, poora hai vishwas…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru