Consolidated 2G scam musings….

(On February 2, 2012, the Supreme Court of India cancelled 122 telecom licenses issued in 2008 in the 2G scam.)

Old saying: Chaar sau beesi karta hai?
New saying: Ek sau baeesi karta hai?

∙ It’s clear that the UPA doesn’t believe in the concept of Collective Responsibility.
That simply means that they believe in Collective Irresponsibility.

∙ Comment: Subramaniam Swamy’s Court route is much better than Anna Hazare’s activism route.
Prashant Bhushan: Main dono kara raha hu phir bhi mujhe log peet-te hai!

∙ Subramanian Swamy=Aussie pacer.
UPA=Indian batting line-up.
SC=Fast and green pitch.

∙ LK Advani: Hame aur jeene ki chahat na hoti, agar tum na hote…
(Tum=Subramanian Swamy. Key=Lok Sabha polls possible in 2012)

∙ In the beginning of 1977, the Janata Party was the No. 1 Opposition party of India.
In the beginning of 2012, the Janata Party is still the No. 1 Opposition party of India.
(Key: Its party president is Subramanian Swamy)

∙ Right now a lot of Indian citizens want to go back and quash their 2009 Lok Sabha Voting Licenses to the UPA.

∙ Zero Loss Theory becomes Zero License Practicality.

∙ 2G, or not 2G, that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer,
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Prime Ministership,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them: to resign, to leave…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Chaanta maarte chalo, joota phekte chalo…

Nowadays everyone in India wants to slap or thrash someone and throw slippers and shoes at prominent people.

Here’s a theme song for the new violent India.

Please sing to the tune of the Bollywood song Pyaar baant te chalo

Ho chaanta maarte chalo, joota phekte chalo,
Hey chaanta maarte chalo, chappal phekte chalo,
Kya politician kya social activist, humri sab se hai ladai,
Ho chaanta maarte chalo, joota phekte chalo,
Hey chaanta maarte chalo, chappal phekte chalo.

Nafrat hai nayi Bharat ki kahani,
Ye buzurgon ka kehna kyun sune yaaron,
Ek hi chaanta ke kaabil hain sab,
Humko peet paat ke rehana hai yaaron,

Hai socho kal kya the, dekho ab kya ho,
Sabko le doobayenge… hai apni ye ladai,
Ho chaanta maarte chalo, joota phekte chalo,
Hey chaanta maarte chalo, chappal phekte chalo.
(La la la la la la la la la la la la la la…)

Sharad ye hai to Chiddu tum ho,
Ye hai Kejriwal to Kalmadi tum ho,
Naam kuch ho magar ye na bhoolo,
Sabse gussa ek jaisa ho.
Ho chaanta maarte chalo, joota phekte chalo,
Hey chaanta maarte chalo, chappal phekte chalo.

Ye Mumbai hai woh Delhi dekho,
Har jagah nafrat ki hai kahani,
Nafrat sadiyon se ab tak amar hai,
Aur har cheez hai aani jaani
Ho chaanta maarte chalo, joota phekte chalo,
Hey chaanta maarte chalo, chappal phekte chalo…

(Original song: Pyaar baant te chalo.
Film: Hum Sab Ustad Hain.
Year: 1965.)

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

When Manmohan Singh went onTwitter…

Dear Manmohan… idea for your first Tweet… 140 Zeroes… since you are a zero loss government…

∙ The PM has just completed a Thousand Tweets.
The only reason Twitter or anyone else hasn’t noticed is because all those Tweets were of Zero characters each, complying fully with his offline image.

∙ Why hasn’t Manmohan Singh Tweeted anything yet?
Because he was told that Twitter allows only 140 characters.
He’s making that list right now…
Character 1: Sonia, Character 2: Rahul, Character 3…

∙ Why is Manmohan Singh’s Twitter account like James Bond? Because it also has a 00 (double zero) in front of it: 0 (Tweets) 0 (Following).

© Sunil Rajguru

Consolidated Salman Rushdie JLF musings…

Daft definitions…
Rushdie:
A writer who wrote something in England in 1988 that enraged someone in Iran that ultimatey left a few Rajasthanis wondering what the hell was going on in 2012, when people kept pointing them towards Uttar Pradesh.

Inky Pinky City,
JLF had a Virtual Rushdie,
Virtual Rushdie died,
Logic cried,
Inky Pinky City.

∙ In India, controversies age beautifully like wine…
Examples…
1. A 61-year-old age certificate.
2. A 44-year-old parliamentary bill.
3. A 24-year-old book.

Gandhi, Rushdie aur Anonymity…

1980: Rushdie who?
1981. Indira Gandhi: Rushdie!
1988. Rajiv Gandhi: Rushdie!
1996-2011: Rushdie who?
2012. Sonia Gandhi: Rushdie!

Global message of the week…
Jay, Jeremy and JLF… Shut up!

∙ The Congress has just Censored Salman Rushdie from India.
Don’t celebrate. You’re next!

© Sunil Rajguru

General current affairs musings…

∙ The Government is looking to 49% FDI in aviation. If foreign players come, invest and change the names of Indian airline companies…
The Virgin Atlantic Airways probabilities…
Go Airways could become GoVirgin.
Jet Airways could become Virgin Lite.
Kingfisher could become VirginKing.
IndiGo could become IndiVirgin.
If South West Airlines came, then they could revive East West Airlines and call it:
South West East West Airlines.
If China Southern Airlines and China Eastern Airlines also jumped into the fray, then the new entity could be:
China Southern Eastern South West East West Airlines.

∙ BSY: The B in Karnataka BJP stands for BSY!
BJP: The B in BSY stands for BJP!
Bottom line: Soon, it’ll be BSY=BJP Splitter Yedyurappa.

∙ Arrogance of power.
Congress advisor: Here’s the 2009-14 Five-year plan, at the end of which Internet Censorship, bills to suppress federalism, how to dilute RTI, how to stall anti-corruption election reform plans for good etc etc will firmly be in place and we’ll be invincible!
Q: But what if someone else comes to power then?
A: Oops! I never thought of that! Is that even possible?

© Sunil Rajguru