General current affairs musings…

∙ The Government is looking to 49% FDI in aviation. If foreign players come, invest and change the names of Indian airline companies…
The Virgin Atlantic Airways probabilities…
Go Airways could become GoVirgin.
Jet Airways could become Virgin Lite.
Kingfisher could become VirginKing.
IndiGo could become IndiVirgin.
If South West Airlines came, then they could revive East West Airlines and call it:
South West East West Airlines.
If China Southern Airlines and China Eastern Airlines also jumped into the fray, then the new entity could be:
China Southern Eastern South West East West Airlines.

∙ BSY: The B in Karnataka BJP stands for BSY!
BJP: The B in BSY stands for BJP!
Bottom line: Soon, it’ll be BSY=BJP Splitter Yedyurappa.

∙ Arrogance of power.
Congress advisor: Here’s the 2009-14 Five-year plan, at the end of which Internet Censorship, bills to suppress federalism, how to dilute RTI, how to stall anti-corruption election reform plans for good etc etc will firmly be in place and we’ll be invincible!
Q: But what if someone else comes to power then?
A: Oops! I never thought of that! Is that even possible?

© Sunil Rajguru

Contemporary Knock Knock Jokes 10

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
R who?
R Ashwin here. Bhajji, open the door and let me in. I want to take your place!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
P who?
P Chidambaram here. Raja, don’t open the door. I don’t want to join you?

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
BSY who?
BSY the free man that’s who? Get ready Sadanand, I’m still looking at your chair!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Khan who?
Khant break the domestic box office records of the other Khans. Damn!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

August 2011 Status Updates

Anna Hazare on fast. Loses 3 kgs in 3 days.
Congress credibility also on fast. Has lost so much weight that very soon it will be hospitalized and put on drip.

(August 19)

A CongPal Resolution has been passed by which the Congress party will be protected at any cost; Desh, Lok, Anna sab gaye tel lene!

Many years ago, they made a Tryst with Corruption. At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the whole world slept, they looted the nation.
Here’s wishing India Independence from these corrupt blokes.
(I know that’s impossible, but hey! A wish is a wish!)

(August 15)

The three avatars of BSY…
Pre-2008: Godot (Wait, I’m coming one day)
2008-2011: FevicolMan (Meri aur gaddi ki majboot jod hai, tootegi nahin!)
2011: Terminator (I’ll be back!)

(August 14)

A US President: I just upgraded my Blackberry and downgraded my country!

In light of the Gold prices, from now on in India a Platinum Jubilee will be celebrated after 50 years and a Golden Jubilee after 75 years.

Roller Coaster Duncan Fletcher…
When Fletcher took over England, they were at the bottom. He took them to the top.
(Then to the bottom again)
When Fletcher took over India, they were at the top. He took them to the…
Either way, it’s a roller coaster. India riding up or down from Birmingham?

(August 9)

A Second Recession in the US?
I have a feeling that they have merely split the Second Depression into two parts for some positive spin and good press.

America needs a new AAA battery.
Anyone has a spare?

(August 8 )

Is it a one down batsman?
Is it a temporary wicketkeeper?
Is it a makeshift opener?
Is it a taken-for-granted rock solid wall?
Is it a recalled ODI batsman?
It’s DravidMan!

Dear India,
No action will be taken against Sheila as she refuses to quit and her boss is on sick leave.
A grand 126-year old party.

(August 7)

Haar ke baad Yuvi-Bhajji bimaar…
CWG probe se Kalmadi ka dimaag bimaar…
Scams ka tsunami ke baad Sonia bimaar…

India is one really Bimaru nation!

Manmohan Singh looks so peaceful with his headphones in Parliament.
I’ve a sneaking suspicion that he listens to soothing music and not the transcripts of MPs!

(August 5)

2007-2009 T20 World Champs.
2009-2011 Test World Champs.
2011-2015 ODI World Champs.
Indian fans stop complaining!
We’ve never been called world champs for 8 long years!
Which brings me to the Indian Cricket Rule: To wear a new world crown, you have to remove the one that’s already on your head!

(August 2)

© Sunil Rajguru