Anna created Kejri.
He let Kejri use IAC contacts and funds to launch AAP.
And now after sleeping for years he’s suddenly crying.
Anna is exactly like Gandhi.
Gandhi gave us Pappu Nehru.
Anna gave us Pappu Kejri.
Anna promised us National Lokpal.
Instead he gave us Internal AAP Lokpal.
His only achievement of the 2010s.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Rome wasn’t built in a day.
—From an old French saying.
Rome Rajya can’t be dismantled in a day.
—New Indian saying.
(So far on track. #Demonetization)
Pappu says demonetization worse than Hiroshima.
For him its true.
After Hiroshima, Nehru-Indira-Rajiv became Prime Minister.
After demonetization, no Nehru-Gandhi dynast may ever become PM.
There’s some major magic-voodoo in #Demonetisation.
Modi Haters are seriously inconvenienced with rotten luck.
Modi supporters managing though.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
The Congress has been severely downgraded thanks to #DemonetizaSON.
#Pappu
My speech will cause an earthquake: Pappu.
True.
Imagine crores of Indians watching and rolling on the floor with laughter at the same time.
Dear Pappu,
What are you doing?
You are too late for 2014.
And too early for 2019.
Dear Pappu,
Since 2004 there have been 1000+ Indian MPs.
You are not even in the Top 100.
Who cares whether you speak or not in Parliament!
Read my lips—no new taxes.
Bush—1988.
Thrashed in 1992.
Read my lips—The PM is personally terrified with the info I have.
Pappu—2016.
What to say to “already thrashed guy”?
Pappu,
You claim that your speech can cause an earthquake.
Well, Modi’s one word is enough to cause an earthquake.
“Mitron!”
Pappu ka earthquake aa ke chala bhi gaya.
Bahut bahut bada tha.
Par woh escape velocity ke saath chala gaya aur Jupiter pe hua.
If Pappu was an editor, he would release ads throughout the year saying…
Sensational scoop coming next year!
#PappuzWorld
Bofors = Development.
2G = Development.
Coalgate = Development.
#NationalHerald = Development.
#Demonetization = Greatest scam ever!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Economic Reforms.
1. Rao.
2. Vajpayee.
3. Modi.
That’s it.
Manmohan was merely initially Rao’s assistant and then Sonia’s.
Axis Bank in the news for all the wrong reasons post #Demonetization.
Fun fact of the day…
Manmohan inaugurated the first Axis Bank then UTI Bank) in 1994.
Father of Acidic Reforms. (Spoilt politics)
Father of Uneconomic Reforms. (Corruption)
#Manmohan
Anything but Father of Economic Reforms—That was Rao.
Father of Bionic Reforms. (Robot)
Father of Anaemic Reforms. (Low energy)
#Manmohan
Anything but Father of Economic Reforms—That was Rao.
Manmohan Singh is 84.
And he still has to dance to Madam’s tunes.
Ghulam till I die!
Aam aadmi = Lakhpati.
Middle class = Crorepati.
Trader = Arabpati (100 crores).
Industrialist = Kharabpati (10,000 crores).
All scamsters = Neelpati (10 lakh crores).
Manmohan.
Coal Minister innocent in Coalgate.
Economic whiz innocent in 2G.
Guess he’s snow white despite signing AgustaWestland files.
Deve Gowda was the Humble Farmer.
Manmohan Singh was the Fumble Harmer.
To think that Sonia and Manmohan knew absolutely nothing of all the umpteen scams that took place during UPA rule is the height of naivety.
100 scams under Sonia’s UPA—They leave her totally alone. Totally.
Any move Modi makes big or small—Go batshit crazy & attack: Sparta!!!
UPA did 0/10 things.
No outrage for first 7-8 years.
Modi does 5/10 things.
A. He’s doing these 5 things wrong.
B. Why isn’t he doing the other 5 things?
Sonia’s UPA did scam upon scam and no-one attacked her, investigated her or went after her.
Modi’s every bold positive move is attacked viciously.
With the way he’s blabbing non-stop, looks like the P in P Chidambaram stands for Pappu.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Right now there’s a royal battle brewing between Pappu, Kejri and Mamata to see who can end up as the worst politician of 2016.
The IQ of Indian politics was as it is low.
Kejri and his merry men brought it down even further!
After Modi became CM in 2001, he has been doing the same things with the same results.
After Manmohan won 2009, even Pappu has been doing the same things with the same results.
How many died after law and order breakdown thanks to Lalu, Mamata and Akhilesh coming in Bihar, WB and UP.
Or it doesn’t matter as they’re Modi haters?
Kejri: How was your day?
Pappu: Great! Hurled my 1000th baseless allegation against Modi and 100th resignation demand.
Kejri: I think I’m ahead of you!
#RameshSuresh
If you think Kejri-Jung was highly controversial then what will happen if Kiran Bedi becomes the new Lieutenant-Governor of New Delhi!
#ChooMantarJantarMantar
Lalu destroyed Bihar.
Got 5 more years.
Destroyed again.
5 more.
Again.
5 more.
Mamata destroyed West Bengal.
Got 5 more years.
Destroying again…
Kejri and Mamata playing a game of “Dumb and Dumber”.
Congress gets attacked (always belatedly) because it does scams.
Modi gets attacked (always 24X7) because he tries to stop scams.
Modi has won all his personal political battles from 2001.
Do you think he doesn’t have many tricks up his sleeve till 2019?
Modi is patiently waiting for the Rajya Sabha to come under his control.
#VicePresidentialElections
Disruptions will then come to an end.
Poriborton = Pori-bartan.
Bartan = vessel, as in…
Empty vessels make most noise.
Maybe Mamata identifies herself so much with the Bangladeshis that she sees the “Indian” Army as the “foreign” hand.
West Bengal governance. Congress—Bad. (Till 1977) CPM—Worse. (1977-2011) TMC—Worst. (2011-__)
Mamata-Akhilesh-Kejri—The Bermuda Triangle of governance (it disappears). Since Lalu is ruling by proxy, make it the Bermuda Quadrilateral.Those who can govern, do it.
Those who can’t, do nautanki. #Kejri #Mamata #Lalu
Military coup = If Army chief overthrows Prime Minister. Mamata’s definition = I can see soldiers from my Secretariat window!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Chhota bhai: Aaj mere paas credit card hai, debit card hai, netbanking hai, PayTM hai, Rupay hai… tere paas kya hai?
Bada bhai: Mere paas hard cash hai!
Out of service.
Out of order.
Expecting cash.
2000s only.
Emptying fast.
#ATMStatuses
Cash Na Milega Dobara.
Prem Ratan Dhan Na Payo.
Ae Bill Hai Mushkil.
Ek Tha Black Money Tiger.
Airlift (of new currency notes by IAF).
Do you have a Ration Card?
Yes, it is called an ATM Card.
Money is rationed and usually out of stock.
ATM = Any Time Money (may suddenly come and you have to be ready in wait for it)
ATM now stands for…
ATM Temporarily Moneyless.
New Year Resolutions…
RBI: I will make sure there is enough cash in the markets.
Banks: I will make sure ATMs remain open with cash 24X7.
(note)band(i) baj gaya inka. Opposition will continue protesting.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru