Category Archives: Lyrical Atyachar

C for Cyberspace, but C for Censorship?

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(The world’s largest democracy wants to regulate the world’s largest democratic medium…)

Kapil Sibal sahab: Whether it’s someone like you or someone like me,
Whether it’s grand Madam Sonia or the beleaguered Narendra Modi,

Whether you’re a bigot or trying to make your point pretty fairly,
Whether you’re pretty famous or just a piece of anonymity,

Once you get into cyberspace and make any opinion “simply”,
Get ready to be attacked and get it from all sides equally,

If a newspaper becomes trash the next day, in cyberspace it’s gone in an hour,
(Unless you keep digging it out of the grave over some perverse sense of honour),

Just take the criticism and move on, the Net won’t cut you any slack,
Otherwise just get out of cyberspace and don’t look back.

© Sunil Rajguru

Cyberspace, you’re breaking my heart

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So the Indian government wants to censor Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo, MSN… again.

IT Minister Kapil Sibal is furious. Here’s a theme song especially for him…

Please read to the tune of Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart, by Simon and Garfunkel.

(Sibal…)

Cyberspace, you’re breaking my heart,
You’re shaking my confidence daily,
Oh, Cyberspace, I’m down on my knees,
I’m begging you please to censor those…

Cyberspace, you’re upsetting the applecart,
You’re shaking the government daily,
Oh, Cyberspace, I’m down on my knees,
I’m begging you please to stop being so loathsome…

Getting hate in those cartoons n pix in Cyberspace,
Up in my office computer (getting hate),
I got up to speak in a PC,
When I come back to the net,
There’s a few more tonnes of hate…

Cyberspace, you’re a big ole fart,
You’re leaving all of us politicians shaking with rage daily,
Oh, Cyberspace, I’m down on my knees,
I’m begging you please to get lost…
Go on, get lost…

(Cyberspace…)

Desperation,
The government’s lost it again,
I fall on the floor and I laughing,

Desperation,
The government’s lost it again,
I fall on the floor and I’m laughin…

(Original Song: Cecilia.
Group: Simon and Garfunkel.
Year: 1970)

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

The Twelve Days of Parliament

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Please sing to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas
(On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… A Partridge in a Pear Tree…)

Dedicated to the dedicated MPs of the Indian Lok Sabha…

On the first day of Parliament, my MPs gave to me…
An Adjournment Motion after a jolly good shouting spree…

On the second day of Parliament, my MPs gave to me…
2 Furious Walkouts
And an Adjournment Motion after a jolly good shouting spree…

On the third day of Parliament, my MPs gave to me…
3 Lengthy Tea Breaks
2 Furious Walkouts
And an Adjournment Motion after a jolly good shouting spree…

On the fourth day of Parliament, my MPs gave to me…
4 Wasted Hours
3 Lengthy Tea Breaks
2 Furious Walkouts
And an Adjournment Motion after a jolly good shouting spree…

On the fifth day of Parliament, my MPs gave to me…
5 Idle Backbenchers
4 Wasted Hours
3 Lengthy Tea Breaks
2 Furious Walkouts
And an Adjournment Motion after a jolly good shouting spree…

On the sixth day of Parliament, my MPs gave to me…
6 Useless Speeches
5 Idle Backbenchers
4 Wasted Hours
3 Lengthy Tea Breaks
2 Furious Walkouts
And an Adjournment Motion after a jolly good shouting spree…

On the seventh day of Parliament, my MPs gave to me…
7 Meaningless Debates
6 Useless Speeches
5 Idle Backbenchers
4 Wasted Hours
3 Lengthy Tea Breaks
2 Furious Walkouts
And an Adjournment Motion after a jolly good shouting spree…

On the eighth day of Parliament, my MPs gave to me…
8 Absentee Ministers
7 Meaningless Debates
6 Useless Speeches
5 Idle Backbenchers
4 Wasted Hours
3 Lengthy Tea Breaks
2 Furious Walkouts
1 Adjournment Motion after a jolly good shouting spree…

On the ninth day of Parliament, my MPs gave to me…
9 Sleeping Partymen
8 Absentee Ministers
7 Meaningless Debates
6 Useless Speeches
5 Idle Backbenchers
4 Wasted Hours
3 Lengthy Tea Breaks
2 Furious Walkouts
And an Adjournment Motion after a jolly good shouting spree…

On the tenth day of Parliament, my MPs gave to me…
10 Screaming Legislators
9 Sleeping Partymen
8 Absentee Ministers
7 Meaningless Debates
6 Useless Speeches
5 Idle Backbenchers
4 Wasted Hours
3 Lengthy Tea Breaks
2 Furious Walkouts
And an Adjournment Motion after a jolly good shouting spree…

On the eleventh day of Parliament, my MPs gave to me…
11 Impertinent Interruptions
10 Screaming Legislators
9 Sleeping Partymen
8 Absentee Ministers
7 Meaningless Debates
6 Useless Speeches
5 Idle Backbenchers
4 Wasted Hours
3 Lengthy Tea Breaks
2 Furious Walkouts
And an Adjournment Motion after a jolly good shouting spree…

On the twelfth day of Parliament, my MPs gave to me…
12 Unpassed Bills
11 Impertinent Interruptions
10 Screaming Legislators
9 Sleeping Partymen
8 Absentee Ministers
7 Meaningless Debates
6 Useless Speeches
5 Idle Backbenchers
4 Wasted Hours
3 Lengthy Tea Breaks
2 Furious Walkouts
And an Adjournment Motion after a jolly good shouting spree…

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

News in Limericks 6

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There was this fearless journalist in Iraq,
Who hurled a shoe at a US Presidential chap,
It inspired attacks on Jindal, Chiddu and Yeddy,
Then on Advani, Omar, Kalmadi and Dwivedi,
And now shoeing has morphed into one tight slap!

There were these people Waiting for the God,
To complete the most divinest cricketing plot,
Then it went amiss and came many a miss,
Heartbreakingly in the 90s a bowler did dismiss,
And now it looks like we’re Waiting for Godot!

There was this terrorist called Kasab,
Who in Indian jails had many a kebab,
The demands never stopped,
And endless days got docked,
Aur ab us par paise kharch karne ka na koi hisaab!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

With allies like these…

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Pakistan is the drug addict. America is the drug.
Pak knows that the US is destroying it, but can’t do without it.
Or…
America is the drug addict. Pakistan is the drug.
The US knows that Pak is destroying it, but can’t do without it.
Whatever!

The US-Pak Barney song

Please sing to the tune of Barney…

I hate you,
You hate me,
We’re an alleged happy family,
With a great big deception,
And a threat from me to you,
Won’t you say you hate me too?

An old one…
US-Pak ties are like a terribly failed marriage where both parties are petrified of divorce.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Facebook Ilu Ilu song…

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Please read to the tune of the song Ilu Ilu from the film Saudagar…

Ilu…
Ilu ilu…
Ye ilu ilu kya hai yeh ilu ilu,
Jab news feed main koi status message aaya to dost ne kaha,
Ilu ilu… ilu ilu…
Picture dekh ke aaya dher saara maja, to bola ye samaa,
Ilu ilu… ilu ilu…
Jab koi virtual cheez achhi lagti hai, badi pyaari pyaari lagti hai,
To dost click karta hai,
Ilu ilu… ilu ilu…
Ye ilu ilu kya hai ye ilu ilu,
Ilu ka matlab I l you, I l you,
Ilu ka matlab I like you, I like you,
Hey I like your status, I like your pix, I like your comment…

Ilu…
Ilu ilu…
Ye ilu ilu kya hai ye ilu ilu,
Jab meethe status koi lagaye misri ki meesri ki meethi daliyon se,
Jab mast baharon ka mausam ka koi picture lagaye,
Jab link se aaye koi gyaan guru,
To dost click karta hai,
Ilu ilu… ilu ilu…
Ye ilu ilu kya hai ye ilu ilu,
Ilu ka matlab I l you, I l you,
Ilu ka matlab I like you, I like you,
Hey I like your status, I like your pix, I like your comment…

(Original song: Ilu Ilu.
Film: Saudagar.
Year: 1991.)

This spoof by Sunil Rajguru