Monthly Archives: February 2016

Love Afzal. Hate Modi. Mera Bharat Mahaan.

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Modi: I’m RSS.
‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬: RSS ko maro!
Modi: I’m BJP.
#AdarshLiberal: BJP ko maro!
Modi: I’m Indian.
#AdarshLiberal: India ko maro!
Modi: I’m global citizen.
#AdarshLiberal: Duniya ko maro!

India is a sovereign secular democracy.
Pakistan is an Army-backed America-backed religious State supporting terrorism.
Why any Indian would want to shout “Pakistan zindabad” is perplexing.

In the ‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬ Leftist intellectual media space, more people respect Afzal Guru and Ishrat Jahan than Modi.

When Afzal attacked Parliament, Sonia was MP.
Yet Pappu sympathizing with Afzal supporters.
No country. No family. No logic. No pride. Just politics!

Past…
Rao-Vajpayee: Make in India.
Sonia: Break in India.
Present…
Modi: Make in India.
Future…
Pappu: Break in India.

Ye kaisi paheli hai?
Pappu protests against Modi government’s crackdown on students protesting against Pappu’s government hanging of Afzal.

Jaisa neta, waisa university.
Jaisa Jawaharlal Nehru, waisa Jawaharlal Nehru University.
‪#‎ShutDownJNU‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How Congress slogans should actually change…

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Then… and…
Now.

Garibi Hatao.
Congress Hatao.

Wipe every tear from every eye.
Wipe every Congress leader from every State.

Ho raha Bharat Nirman.
Ho raha Pappu Nirman.

Poori roti khayenge, Congress ko jitayenge.
Poora scam ka paisa khaayenge, desh ko dubaayenge.

Kattar soch nahin, yuva josh.
Kattar soch, nahin yuva josh.

Main nahih, hum.
Hum gaya tel lene, sirf main.

Vote for calf and cow,
Forget all others now,
Vote Congress.
Vote for cow slaughter,
Vote Congress.

Jai Jawan Jai Kisan.
OROP Jawan MNREGA Kisan.

Indira is India and India is Indira.
Sonia and Pappu are India and India is Sonia and Pappu.
(That doesn’t make any sense. Well, this party stopped making sense long back.)

Congress ka hath, Aam Aadmi ke saath
Congress ka hath, aam aadmi ko thappad.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#AdarshLiberals still going strong…

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Step 1: Attack Modi virulently.
Step 2: Support…
a. Ishrat Jahan.
b. Afzal Guru.
c. Ajmal Kasab.
Step 3: Call India Intolerant.
‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬

Either ‪#‎ShutDownJNU‬
OR rename it as ‪#‎KarlMarxUniversity‬ for that is what it is
OR revamp it totally and rename it as ‪#‎NetajiSubhasChandraBoseUniversity‬.

Intolerant Nehru.
Fascist Indira.
Dictator Sanjay.
Communal Rajiv.
Destructive Sonia.
Incompetent Pappu.
‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬: Just transfer all the adjectives to Modi!

#‎AdarshLiberals‬ logic…
Since Hinduism is the oldest surviving religion in the world, all the ills in the world can be attributed to it.
Second oldest Judaism—Perfect!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The politicians #AdarshLiberals love…

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India’s worst politicians at governance…
Anti-Modi Mamata.
Anti-Modi Lalu.
Anti-Modi Kejri.
Anti-Modi Akhilesh.
Verdict: Falling governance in India is Modi’s fault.

Bihar’s Lord of the Rings trilogy…
1. Fellowship of Nitish, Lalu and Pappu.
2. The Two Towers of Tejashwi and Tej Pratap.
3. The Return of the King (Lalu).

Crime happens.
1. Is criminal related to Modi’s party?
Yes = Attack Modi.
No. Go to 2.
2. Is State ruled by Modi’s party?
Yes = Attack Modi.
No. Go to 3.
3. Modi is PM. Attack him.

Congress, DMK, SP: Monarchy.
AAP, TMC, RJD: Anarchy.
ADMK, BSP: Matriarchy.

Jawaharlal Marx.
Indira Marx.
Sonia Marx.
Mamata Marx.
Jyoti Marx.
Arvind Marx.
The Marx Dynasty.
Ruling the world since 1848.

Global belief in Communism…
1848: 99% intellectuals. 1% people.
1948: 99% intellectuals. 50% people.
2048: 99% intellectuals. 0% people.

Schrodinger’s Pappu.
The whole world knows his career is dead.
Congressis think it’s still alive.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri aur sarvanaash

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Indian Revenue Service.
No idea of revenue.
No idea of service.
No idea of Indian.
Indian Institute of Technology.
No idea of technology.
Chief Minister of New Delhi.
No idea of New Delhi.
Only idea: “Chief”. I. Me. Main.
‪#‎Kejri‬

Kejri
Film reviews ✓
Personal attacks ✓
Allegations ✓
No portfolio ✓
No work ✓
Solve…
Garbage woes✘
Power woes✘
Delhi problems✘
Anything!✘

New Delhi…
2011: Spring of Hope.
2016: Winter of Despair and Discontent.

It is said that Delhi is a city which has been destroyed and rebuilt 7 times.
After Kejri is finished with it, it may have to be rebuilt the 8th time.

Loading Anarchy in New Delhi.
20% downloaded.
80% left.
‪#‎EkSaalGayaChaarSaalBaaki‬

Give a self-confessed Anarchist 67/70 seats in an Assembly and you will definitely get anarchy. Just four more years though.

Highest paid Chief Minister in India.
+ Most media goodwill.
= Least amount of work.
‪#‎Kejri‬

Kejri’s 2 gears.
1. Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me.
2. Modi Modi Modi Modi Modi Modi.

2 “Left” turns = 1 U-turn.
2 U-turns = Back to where he started.
‪#‎ArvindKarlMarx‬
Repeat process again and again.

Kejri with 67 MLAs is 10 times more powerless than Sheila Dixit with 43 MLAs.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru