Daily Archives: February 1, 2016

Congress-#AdarshLiberals bhai bhai…

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Congress has got tremendous ROI on…
Sonia’s limited skills.
Pappu’s limited brains.
Just 44 Lok Sabha seats.

If you watch…
DD News: All Izz Well.
Hindi news channels: Generally theek thaak.
English news channels: India under siege! Intolerance! Doomsday! End of Modi.

Tens of thousands killed every year.
Tens of thousands crimes against women.
Tens of thousands other crimes.
Yet just one is always picked conveniently.

He who is attacked 24X7 by media, liberals, intellectuals, seculars etc is Intolerant.
She who is attacked by none of above is Tolerant.

Shatrughan Sinha is probably going to be appointed the Leader of the Opposition within the BJP shortly.

Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty destroyed Indian politics.
Communism destroyed Indian thought.
SFI destroyed student politics in India.
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ destroyed Indian debate.

#‎AdarshLiberals‬ 68 years se bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai, bole ja rahe hai…
Fir end main add karte hai ki freedom of speech nahin hai!

70+ years Nehru was propped up and Netaji rubbished.
‪#‎NehruBhakts‬ went totally berserk in just 70 minutes of Netaji files being released.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

No matter what, they will always love Kejri…

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Sometimes you replace bad (CPM) with worse (Trinamool).
Sometimes you replace the best (Sheila) with the worst (Kejri).

Hame satta do, hum parivartan laayenge.
Satta diya, ghanta kiya.
Next…
Hame MCD do, hum safai laayenge.
Hame Delhi Police do, hum safety laayenge.

ABC of dirty politics in India today…
Akhilesh-Arvind.
Banerjee.
Chandy.
With Nitish (Good cop) and Lalu (Bad cop).

Media, liberals and intellectuals love leaders with terrible governance skills.
Lalu.
Kejri.
Mamata.
Sonia.

New Delhi…
The CM’s chair and MCD and every other thing’s been occupied by both the Congress and BJP.
The only new factor is AAP.
‪#‎GarbageCity‬

Bihar versus Bengal in competition to be India’s worst State ever.
(Poor Kejri trying hard to join but Delhi too developed to make a serious dent.)

Kejriwal’s rate of progress…
1 MLA arrested every 2 months.
1 major allegation every 2 days.
1 UTurn every day.
1 arrogant statement every 2 hours.
etc

CM of Delhi.
Best: Dixit.
Worst: Kejri.
First: CB Prakash.
Last: Kejri. (Whoever is in charge in 2020 is sure to scrap the post after this nonsense)

Bihar and Delhi voters: Let’s punish Modi by voting against him.
Modi: LOL. Looks like in fact you have punished yourselves!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

January 2016 Status Updates

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Obama and Trump were rank outsiders a year before their US Presidential campaigns.
Media fell at Obama’s feet while they attacked Trump from Day 1.

(January 29)

Global Citizen Sania Mirza.
Partner from Switzerland.
Grand Slams from US, England, France and Australia.
Dubai residency.
Husband from Pakistan.

Karnataka Government promoting publishing industry and popularizing nature.
You are forced to read books and magazines during the day and take long walks in the evening.
‪#‎PowerCuts‬ ‪#‎PowerlessBengaluru‬

The crowd behaves as if FedEx is a poor talented guy who has never won a tennis Grand Slam and Djoko is an evil genius who should be fixed.
‪#‎AustralianOpen2016‬

FedEx and Djoko have 27 Grand Slams between them.
If you go by the desperation of the crowd, you’d think FedEx had 0 and Djoko 27.
‪#‎AustralianOpen2016‬

(January 28)

The world is a curious place.
Sometimes a million die and no-one gives a shit.
Sometimes with a single death everyone goes batshit crazy.

(January 27)

Globalization…
The French President is in India for our Republic Day.
The Indian cricket team is down under for their Australia Day.

(January 26)

A rich Western Leftist Bengali blaming the Left for chasing away industries from West Bengal.
‪#‎Irony‬ ‪#‎AmartyaSen‬

(January 24)

What do you want?
1990: Roti, Kapda aur Makaan.
2000: Roti, Kapda, Makaan aur Bandwidth.
2016: Roti, Kapda, Makaan aur unlimited 100 Mbps connection without FUP!

(January 21)

George Bernard Shaw said that a man becomes a real adult only at the age of 70.
Pappu takes it very seriously and will be a youth till 69.

The Media Law of Relativity…
When news happens nearby you don’t want to cover, distance expands and time speeds up.
When news happens far away you want to cover, distance shrinks and time slows down.

(January 20)

Sell oil at $50 a barrel.
Just make it buy one get one free.

(January 18)

Today’s India is such that everyone offends everyone.
Taken to the (il)logical conclusion, 1.25 billion would be in jail.

If there’s a military takeover in Pakistan, Nawaz Sharif will have a feeling of Deja Coup.

Only two commodities in media…
1. News.
2. Opinion.
And both have become indistinguishable from each other.

(January 13)

India: Ball is in Pakistan’s court.
Arre baba, ball went into Pakistan’s court in 1947!
Tabe se wahin pade dhool khaa raha hai!

Progress…
In the future, you will be able to pack today’s 71.4 Twitter statuses into a single one.
‪#‎140To10000‬

(January 8)

The times they are a changing…
In 1958, Hanif Mohammad hit 337 runs in 970 minutes.
In 2016, ‪#‎PranavDhanawade‬ hit 1009 runs in 395 minutes.

Barack Obama…
Becomes US President in January.*
Gets really cracking on gun control in December .**
*2009
**2015

Saudi Arabia vs Iran.
Turkey vs Russia.
ISIS captures Iraq/Syria/Libya/Lebanon land.
Saudi Arabia strikes in Yemen.
US-Israel no longer the enemy?

(January 5)

© Sunil Rajguru