Monthly Archives: September 2014

When the Shiv Sena and BJP broke up in Maharashtra…

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Maharashtra politics…
2006: Pramod Mahajan, RIP.
2012: Vilasrao Deshmukh, RIP.
2012: Balasaheb Thackeray, RIP.
2014: Gopinath Munde, RIP.
2014: BJP-Sena alliance, RIP.
2014: Congress-NCP alliance, RIP.

February 14: Valentine’s Day.
September 25: Breakup Day.

When the news channels didn’t know whether they were breaking or not…

The BJP-Shiv Sena alliance is like Schrodinger’s Cat because it is simultaneously alive and dead.

Breaking News for 10 days…
BJP-Shiv Sena/NCP-Congress on the verge of breaking/breakthrough.
(Means we haven’t the foggiest idea but we will say we were right no matter what happens in the end)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Sonia Gandhi and the mainstream media…

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You may…
…support the scams of One Leader.
But not the schemes of all other leaders.

You may…
…lick the boots of One Leader.
But not tolerate a help tying the bootlaces of any other leader.

You may…
…respect the privacy of One Leader.
But give bad publicity to every other leader over minor private things.

You may…
…tolerate the dictatorship of One Leader.
But call minor democratic deviations of any other leader a dictatorship.

You may…
…celebrate if One Leader decides to do remote control.
But thrash any other leader who even seeks to guide his or her juniors.

You may…
…look the other way when One Leader leaves the country surreptitiously for the umpteenth time.
But pounce on any other leader when he or she steps out of her home.

You may…
…accept the education and experience shortcomings of One Leader and her right to rule the country.
But pounce on any other 12th pass leader who even heads a department.

You may…
Ignore the major scams of one party president.
But go after every allegation of another party president.

You may…
…be petrified of One Leader.
But attack every other leader 24X7.

All leaders are equal.
But One Leader is more equal than others.

© Sunil Rajguru

More Bilawal Bhutto musings…

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Pakistan’s Indianised Trimurti…
Sharif: As ineffective as Manmohan.
Imran: As anarchic as Kejriwal.
Bilawal: As idiotic as Pappu.

Bilawal Bhutto lost his Cashmere wool sweater.
He screamed: I will get back my Cashmere, every inch of it!
As usual, social media went crazy for no reason.

Modi beat him to PM’s chair.
Kejri beat him to media coverage.
Bilawal beat him to clown princedom.
Poor Pappu!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Bilawal Bhutto wanted every inch of Kashmir…

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Dear Bilawal,
First try to take Pakistan from the Pakistani Army.
Then fantasize about taking Kashmir from the Indian Army.

Zulfikar: We’ll eat grass but build the bomb.
Benazir: We’ll eat grass but build self-destructing militancy.
Bilawal: We’ll eat grass.

Bilawal: Why is our country called Pakistan?
Papa: P for Punjab, A for Afghania, K for Kashmir…
Bilawal: What? We’ll take back Kashmir!!!

Bilawal Bhutto heard it as…
Doodh maangoge to kheer denge,
Kashmir maangoge to beer denge.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Scotland went on a referendum…

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bagpipes-215549_640How does it feel to be the First Minister of Scotland?
Alex Salmond: Sigh! I was hoping it would be: The First Prime Minister of Scotland!

David Cameron walked into a bar and said…
One Scotch (Independence) on the rocks please.

13th Century Scotland: Freedom!!!
England: No!!!
21st Century England: Freedom???
Scotland: No!!!

America 2008: Yes we can.
Scotland 2014: No we can’t.

So is Alex Salmond the Last Rebel of Scotland?

When you break free, it is a Declaration of Independence.
So is the Scottish referendum a Declaration of Dependence?

Most referendums are…
Will you marry me?
The Scotland referendum was…
Will you not divorce me?

Despite the Scotland No vote, the United Kingdom is still not very United and nor is it really a Kingdom.

Rural India saved the Nehru-Gandhi monarchy many a times.
Rural Scotland saves the English monarchy.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi-BJP musings…

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A DD news anchor read XI Jinping as 11 (Eleven) Jinping.
A Chinese anchor should take revenge and read MODI as 1000-0-500-1.

Under Modi paradoxically both Indo-China co-operation and rivalry will increase.

Analysis in advance…
BJP wins: (It was) Communal Polarization.
BJP loses: Communal Polarization (didn’t work).
‪#‎Bypolls‬

Strange…
BJP hires partisan BJP leaders for Governors.
–>Hmm, OK.
BJP hires neutral former Chief Justice for post.
–>All hell breaks loose.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru