New millennium health facts…

Early to bed and early to rise…
…will make you go totally out of sync with your family, friends and the new millennium lifestyle.

Drinking loads and loads of water…
…will only ensure that you go to the bathroom regularly.

Saying no to junk, alcohol, eating out and snacking regularly…
…will make sure you lead a life where you’ll die early of total boredom.

Gymming regularly…
…is a sure way of wasting time and totally stressing yourself out without even having fun!

An apple a day…
…will make sure you die of starvation. You need other foodstuffs too, right?

Avoiding long and regular tea and coffee breaks on health grounds…
…will isolate you, make you miss out on office gossip, leading to depression, which will have to be treated anyway.

Wanting to sleep early and not watch late night television…
…will force you to lie for hours in the dark listening to other people’s TVs on high volume.

© Sunil Rajguru

My complete year-ending columns 2011-12…

10 Indian sporting wishes for 2012
Multiple Olypmic Golds, WSH success…
09 January 2012, Sify.com

Ten beginnings of 2011
Iraq peace, South Sudan, Djokovic era…
08 January 2012, Sify.com

10 improbable (but possible) things that could happen in 2012
Manmohan Singh could become President of India
04 January 2012, Sify.com

Nine random wishes for 2012
Like Anna Hazare finally moves on to something else…
02 January 2012, Sify.com

9 scares of 2011
Mullaperiyar, Kudankulam, WikiLeaks, Economy…
01 January 2012, Sify.com

12 misses of 2011
Lokpal, Mahashatak, Economy, FDI…
31 December, 2011, Sify.com

2011: The Year of the Common Person
People on the streets and cyberspace made the difference
28 December, 2011, Sify.com

2011: A scary year for media and social media
Leaders, politicians… they all hated the press
22 December, 2011, Sify.com

The year of slaying cricketing Goliaths
2011 wasn’t good news if you were a champion
21 December, 2011, Sify.com

2011: India’s year of confrontation
Everyone seemed to be taking on someone else
20 December, 2011, Sify.com

7 reasons why general elections could take place in 2012
The Congress is well capable of toppling itself…
16 December, 2011, Sify.com

10 things that took a real beating in 2011…
Al-Qaeda, N-power, Einstein, Euro…
13 December, 2011, Sify.com

The Indian Not So Nobel Prizes of 2011…
The worst of the worst of the year
06 December, 2011, Sify.com

2011: The Year of The Obituary
There just have been to many celebrity deaths this year
04 December, 2011, Sify.com

In advance “Perth anarth” musings…

Paint Sponsors
In a bid to increase its ad revenues, the BCCI is planning to get whitewash paint companies to sponsor the Indian Test team from now on.

The Lone Resistance Award

…for the entire Australian tour goes to Virat Kohli’s Middle Finger.

ITPL anyone?
It’s time to rename it ITPL (International Test Premier League), get in coloured clothes, cheerleaders and the white ball.
That’s our only hope of regaining the No. 1 ranking in Tests now.

Mahashatak misses…
The ABCD of Sachin Tendulkar’s 100th 100 misses: Ahmedabad, Birmingham, Chennai and Delhi.
Now let’s hope LMNOP doesn’t happen…
Lord’s, Melbourne, Nottingham, Oval and Perth.

© Sunil Rajguru

Reference: Third India-Australia Test at Perth, January 13, 2012

Random Sunday political musings…

An unequal fight…
The Team: Mere paas Anna (Bada bhai) hai, tere paas kya hai?
Rahul: Mere paas maa hai!
(Aur bonus main baap, dadi aur pardada ki legacy!)

∙ It’s a shame that any leader would want to build statues of himself or herself all over the place.
Once again it’s an Indian bureaucrat that is covering a politician’s shame.

∙ Congress war cry: Hamse jo takarayega, Corruption main mil jaayega.
(Take that Team Anna, BJP…)

© Sunil Rajguru

More Sydney musings…

∙ The BCCI believes in investing its future in the youth.
Hence it’s keeping all its investments safe on the bench.

∙ The Indian players cricket are not cows.
They are not interested in grass.

∙ The Indian players are really bad artists.
They can’t even draw anything!

∙ From now on the BCCI is going to charge double for its Test tours.
That’s because wherever the Indian team visits, it revives the Test fortunes of that particular country.

∙ ABCD of Sachin’s Mahashatak misses…
Sachin has missed his 100th 100 at Ahmedabad, Birmingham, Chennai and Delhi…
(Now let’s hope he doesn’t go all the way from E to Z!)

∙ Sachin also completed a triple century in Sydney.
He’s been searching for his Mahashatak for more than 300 days now.

∙ Conspiracy Theory #45
The BCCI refused to rest MS Dhoni for the tour of West Indies last year and this is Dhoni’s way of getting back.

© Sunil Rajguru

Reference: Second India-Australia Test at Sydney, January 3-6