Tag Archives: Sonia

More on the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty…

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Films of…
Pappu: The Man Who Would be Prime Minister.
Sonia: The Last Queen of Scamland.
Manmohan: On Her Majesty’s (Not So) Secret Service.

Report: Rs 51 lakh spent for maintenance at Sonia’s house.
Question: Has India spent Rs 51 lakh crore for maintenance of the Dynasty so far?

Like Mr India, Sonia Gandhi is a superhero called Mrs India.
She becomes totally invisible when media discusses scams, policy debacles and UPA2 disasters.

Manmohan: I was not in charge.
+ Sonia: I wasn’t the PM.
= Nobody was responsible for the UPA2 debacle.

Congress to all its detractors…
Kyun (Vinod) Rai ka parvat bana rahe ho?
‪#‎ScamsterMMS‬ ‪#‎UPA2‬ ‪#‎Coalgate‬ ‪#‎2G‬ ‪#‎NotJustAnAccountant‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Another round of Congressi musings…

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1942: Congress launched Quit India movement against British.
2014: If Congress gets re-elected, many citizens may want to Quit India.

If Sonia Gandhi is the entire country’s mother, then it’s time every citizen got his or her share of the inheritance.

If and when Pappu becomes Prime Minister, some will call it an Obama moment.
But it will actually be a Kim Jong-un moment.

If the most powerful person in India is “unhappy” and “disappointed” all the time, then I guess the average Indian can only be severely depressed.

Congress leadership: We are ready to sit in the Opposition.
Andhra Pradesh MPs: We are already there!

Nightmare…
2014: Congress decimated, but a Third Front joker becomes PM.
2016: Snap polls. Anti-Third Front wave helps Congress, Pappu becomes PM.
Protests begin yet again.

Looks like…
1. Pappu has failed as General-Secretary.
Make him Vice President!
2. Pappu has failed as Vice President!
Make him Prime Minister!

2004-14…
Manmohan Singh is the messenger.
Sonia Gandhi is the message.
2014…
The voters finally have a message of their own.

Old Sonia = Old Congress.
New Pappu = Old Congress.
No dynasty = New Congress.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on Congress The Great…

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The Congress philosophy…
Give a man a fish and gain his vote for an election.
Teach a man to fish and lose a recurring vote forever.

CONGRESS =
Corrupt
Opportunistic
Nepotistic
Gasbags
Registering
Endless
Supersized
Scams.

Post 1947: Angrez gaye.
Post 2014: Congrez jaayenge.

Sonia=TINA Factor.
(There Is No Alternative)
Pappu=also TINA Factor.
(This Is No Alternative!!!)

2004-14…
Manmohan Singh is the messenger.
Sonia Gandhi is the message.
2014…
The voters finally have a message of their own.

What if Manmohan is still thinking now…
Shivraj, Modi, Sheila, Naveen, Sarkar… sabne hat-trick maara.
Ab mera number 2014 main aayega!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How Modi lost debates with every single Congress leader…

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First candidate: Manmohan Singh.

Modi: Question 1…
MMS: Madam se poochke aata hu.
Modi: Question 2…
MMS: Pappu se poochke aata hu.
Modi: Questions 3 to 1002.
MMS: Hazaron jawabon se achhi hai meri khaamoshi.
Modi: I give up!

Candidate 2: Salman Khurshid.

Modi: When I become Prime Minister tomorrow…
Khurshid: Forget tomorrow, I will make your Modi Today as Modi Yesterday.
Modi: When I come to Delhi…
Khurshid: Come to Delhi, but how will you go back?
Modi: That’s the idea, I’ll stay there!
Khurshid: Aaye Delhi par naa jaaye Delhi se to jeet to meri hi hui na?
Modi: Facepalm.

Candidate 3: Pappu.

Modi: Gujarat is a…
Pappu: Beehive!
Modi: When I become PM…
Pappu: Not happening man!
Modi: OK, tell me what you will do when you become PM?
Pappu: But I don’t want to be PM.
Modi: Then what are you doing here?
Pappu: I don’t know, you called me!
Modi: Arrrggghhhh!!!!

Candidate 4: Sonia.

Modi monologues for more than an hour.
Sonia’s secretary: Under RTI, Sonia cannot reveal anything to you. Goodbye!
Modi… speechless…

Candidate 5: Kapil Sibal.

Modi: Gujarat development…. blah blah blah… statistics and figures… blah blah blah… examples and anecdotes… blah blah blah… phew! I’m tired.
Sibal: Into Zero. Everything you have said is zero and hence the Congress party has suffered Zero Loss in this debate. I win. Bye!
Modi: What the…

Candidate 6: Shashi Tharoor.

Modi: 50 crore girlfriend!
Tharoor: She is priceless!
Modi: I have developed thousands of crores blah blah blah…
Tharoor: My contribution is priceless!
Modi: I have great love for this country.
Tharoor: My love is priceless!
Modi: Thanks to the Congress India has lost thousands of crores of Rupees.
Tharoor: But India is priceless! If you take away thousands of crores from something that is priceless, it remains priceless!

Candidate 7: Jairam Ramesh.

Modi: Development…
Ramesh: Fascist!
Modi: Growth rate…
Ramesh: Fascist!
Modi: Congress has ruined…
Ramesh: Fascist!
(Modi to himself: This reminds me of my debate with the mainstream media. Yahan kuch nahin ho sakta.)

Candidate 8: Manish Tewari.

Tewari: Holistic… moral… fascist… dictatorial… Nazi… holistic… empowerment… holistic…
Modi: Bhaaago!!!! Isko koi dus second bhi kaise jhel sakta hai, bhagwaan jaane!

Candidate 9: Diggy Raja.

Diggy: 2002!
Modi: 1984!
Diggy: Yes, 1984 was orchestrated by RSS, so I lead 2-0!
Modi: Economy!
Diggy: Actually ruined by the RSS’ influence on the makhauta that was Vajpayee from 1998-2004.
Modi: Pakistan, China, scams, Vadra, arrogance…
Diggy: All RSS!
Modi: What do I have to do to get a proper debate out of you without you mentioning the RSS?
Diggy: Travel back in time and don’t join the RSS!
Modi: Tu jeeta. Absolutely no-one can counter your RSS*!
(*=Really Stupid Statements)

Candidate 10: Renuka Chowdhury.

Modi speaks for an hour and all that while Renuka in turns looks away, looks haughtily, looks bored, looks at Modi with great disgust…
At the end of Modi’s monologue he looks at her and says: Your turn.
Renuka remarks: Main kya koi tota hu kya, ki Modi ne bola bol aur main bolu? Bye!

Candidate 11: AK Antony

Antony comes, looks at Modi and says: This is not Modi, but someone dressed as Modi, so I am walking out…

© Sunil Rajguru

Today’s partisan political musings…

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· Presumption of Innocence: The principle that one is considered innocent until proven guilty.
Presumption of Guilt: The principle that Modi is considered guilty until proven innocent.

· In the BJP, they had to coin the term “Namonia”.
In the Congress it already exists and it’s called So”nia”.

· Sir!!! Please be PM! Please be PM! Please be PM! Please be PM!…
‪#‎Pappu‬: Mujhe chhod do mere haal pe, zinda hoon yaar kaafi hai…
‪#‎Lootera‬

· Congress spokespersons’ logo…
Trolling India before the Internet was invented!

· Spokesperson’s XI…
Mani, Diggy, Tiwari, Jha, Renuka, Singhvi, Sibal, Tehseen, Khurshid, Nirupam, Narayanaswamy.
Congress all down before 2014 polls!

· Why does the Congress disbelieve that the BJP has so much support?
Today even if RJD was the main Opposition, there’d be a massive “Laloo for PM” lobby, so spectacularly has the UPA tanked.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru