Some more Mahashatak musings…

Mahashatak conspiracy theory #46…
Michael Clarke declared early so that there was enough time for Sachin to score his 100th 100 as there is forecast of rain.

Mahashatak Fact #67
After Sachin hit his 99th international century, more than 100 international centuries were scored in 2011.
In fact two Tests began on January 3, 2012 and yielded six centuries in three days.

Mahashatak meaningless jingle #22
Shatak bhatak gaya hai… Mahabhatak…
Shatak latak gaya hai… Mahalatak…
Shatak atak gaya hai… Maha-atak…

© Sunil Rajguru

Sachin Mahashatak in Hollywood titles

Damn99! … How Rampaul Stole the Mahashatak … The Day the Stadium Stood Still … Players of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Mahashatak … Close Encounters of the 99 Kind … Mission: Impossible 100 … Transformers: Turning 99 into 100 … The Lost World: Century Park … SRT and the Last Century Crusade … 99 is Not Enough … Catch the Mahashatak if You Can … Gone in 1 Ball … District 99… Mahashatak Wars: The Bowler Strikes Back … Dr. Shataklove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the 99th Century … Dial 100 for Nirvana …

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Some Sachin Mahashatak musings…

∙ There’s many a slip between the 99th and 100th century.

∙ Like the Y2K problem, this is the 0.1K problem.
No-one has ever scored 100 international centuries so the counter keeps going to 00 after 99!
Someone up there better fix that counter fast!

∙ Here’s one record that Tendulkar will absolutely hate.
He’s already scored a quarter-century of international 90s.

∙ The Darren Sammy Catch had much more sting than the Sharad Pawar Slap.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Aayega Aayega Aanewala Shatak Aayega

An existential question is whether the Mahashatak really exists… or is it just a myth… a legend… a figment of somebody’s imagination…

A theme song for Sachin Tendulkar’s 100th international hundred…

Please sing to the tune of Aayega aayega aanewala aayega from Mahal…

Aayega aayega aayega,
Aayega aanewala shatak, aayega aayega aayega,
Mahashatak bagair kaise ye din hi kat rahe hain,

Out nahin hai phir bhi, unglee uth rahe hai,
Tadpega koi kab tak beshatak besahaare,
Tadpega koi kab tak beshatak besahaare,
Lekin ye kahe rahe hain dil ke mere ishaare,
Aayega aayega aayega,
Aayega aanewala shatak, aayega aayega aayega.

Bhatki hui form manzil ko dhoondti hai,
Maheeno rashtra ki ruh shatak ko dhoond rahi hai,
Kya jaane uska balla kab tak lage kinaare,
Lekin ye kahe rahe hain dil ke mere ishaare,
Aayega aayega aayega,
Aayega aane waala shatak, aayega aayega aayega aayega.
..

(Original Song: Aayega aayega aanewala aayega.
Film: Mahal.
Year: 1949)

This spoof by Sunil Rajguru

4 reasons why Sachin has still not scored his Mahashatak…

So it’s been close to 250 days since Sachin Tendulkar scored his 99th international century, but the 100th (the Mahashatak) eludes him.

4 reasons why this could be happening…

1. The number of prayers that have reached God have crashed the Prayer Counter. It is unable to handle such a record number of prayers. Either that or the counter is such that the moment it receives 1 billion prayers for a single event, the counter sets back to zero.

2. After winning the World Cup final, Indian cricket is passing through an extraordinarily long  Rahukaalam. That’s why (less importantly) India got thrashed 0-4 in England and (more importantly) Sachin’s Mahashatak eludes him. The country’s top astrologers are calculating when this dark period will come to an end.

3. When Sachin got up in the morning his Facebook notification told him that it was World Kindness Day today. (It was actually set to Pacific Standard Time, which is time, which is 13.30 hours behind IST). He sub-consciously decided to be kind to the West Indies team. (And this is how they repaid him?)

4. The collective thoughts, aspirations worries, tensions and fears of millions and millions of Indian fans is warping the very spacetime around Sachin, thereby creating a disturbance in the force that will create the Mahashatak.

© Sunil Rajguru

Sachin Mahashatak musings…

(Mahashatak = Sachin Tendulkar’s 100th International Century)

∙ It has been 243 days since Sachin last scored a century.
At this rate, he will celebrate two birthdays in 2012.
One is on April 24 when he turns 38.
But before that will be March 12, when the Mahashatak Quest turns One!

Crore-o logon ki nazar Sachin ke Mahashatak par hain.
Aila, nazar lag gayi!

∙ Sachin ka sauwa shatak gaya tel lene has a new meaning with some people speculating that petrol prices will touch Rs 100 a litre before the Mahashatak happens!

∙ Someone please organize a Bangladesh-Zimbabwe-India ODI triangular series and Sachin can score his 100th ton and we all can quietly move on in life and cricket.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

5 things required ASAP vis a vis Sachin Tendulkar…

The following things should be done immediately for World Peace, Fan Peace and Peace on TV channels…

1. Mr Manmohan Singh, please give Sachin the Bharat Ratna.
More Indians want this man to get it than all the supporters of all the Bharat Ratna awardees combined.

2. Mr Ajay Maken, begin your tenure in style.
Institute a “Sachin Tendulkar Maha Global Sportsman Award” and give Donald Bradman the first one posthumously.

3. Mr Shashank Manohar, may a foreign player be allowed to join IPL only after he has signed a statement stating Sachin is the greatest of all.
I doubt whether they read the fine print anyway, they just want the moolah!

4. Someone get hold of Pele, Federer and Woods… anyone and get them to make a statement that Sachin is the greatest sportsperson of all time.

5. There are tonnes of Indian billionaires.
Can’t one of them buy Sports Illustrated Magazine and do a cover story on how Sachin’s the greatest of all time?

© Sunil Rajguru

The way we see Sachin…

Sachin enters the pitch.
Commentator: And this is the 50,000th time Sachin is entering a cricket pitch!

Sachin waits at the non-strikers end looking at Sehwag.
Commentator: And this is the 250th time Sachin is at the non-striker’s end!

Sehwag hits the ball and Sachin runs.
Commentator: And this is the 15,000th time Sachin is running a run for his partner.

Sachin plays a dot ball.
Commentator: And this is the 20,000th dot ball Sachin has played in his life!

Sachin hits a 4.
Commentator: And this is his 2000th ODI 4 and 3000th overall!

Sachin takes a single.
Commentator: And this is his 5000th single, what a record! What a player!

Sachin sips water from a bottle.
Commentator: And my statistician has just informed me that Sachin has just completed 20 years, 20 weeks, 20 days, 20 hours and 20 minutes of his international career! Wow! Gush!

Sehwag hits a 6.
Second Commentator: And what a glorious shot! Whenever…
Our original commentator cutting him short: …Sachin plays alongside him, Sehwag plays his best! What an inspirational player Sachin is!

Sachin…
Commentator

Moral of the story: Most surveys will show Sachin Tendulkar to be the greatest cricketer of all time. But there are other not so invisible players who do great deeds and a team’s victories are greater than the sum of all records.

© Sunil Rajguru