Tag Archives: Pappu

Pappu-Kejri get #Demonetized

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Modi is really lucky that he has clowns like Pappu and Kejri as his chief political opponents.

Kejri has sunk so low off late that he has emerged on the other side of the globe.

Under Nehru-Indira-Rajiv, queues (wait) for gas connections, phones, scooters and cars used to last for years.
Now Congress screams for a wait of hours.

Pappu visits yet another ATM.
For him ATM has become…
Any Time Mockery.

Tumhara votebank?
Pappu: Minorities, par unke liye kuch nahin kiya! LOL!
Kejri: Mera corruption plank aur maine bhi corruption ke liye kuch nahin kiya. LOL!

Many politicians in India today…
Nahin chalegi nahin chalegi,
Bharashtachar ke khilaaf tanashaahi nahin chalegi!

2011.
India Against Corruption.
2016.
Politicians have just stopped short of officially launching…
India For Corruption.

Rahul looks like Rajiv.
But sounds like a Pappu.
Mrs Vadra looks like Indira.
But sounds like Sonia.
#Pappini #Priyanka #UPPolls

The 2017 August Kranti agitation will be against Kejri.
Anna Hazare could still lead it.

2000: Rajesh Pilot died.
2001: Madhavrao Scindia died.
2012: Pranab Mukherjee became President.
2014: Manmohan Singh era ended.
No real leaders left in Congress.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

General random political musings…

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2014…
Pradhan Mantri Jan Dhan Yojana.
2016…
Pradhan Mantri Kala Dhan Yojana.

Paap Ko Jalaa Kar Raakh Kar Doonga.
#Dharmendra1988 #Modi2016

#AdarshLiberal
If India is bad, you will support Pakistan?
If Capitalism is bad, you will support Communism?
If Indian Army is bad, you will support terrorists?

#Pappu
2000s: Angry young man.
2010s: Angry middle-aged man.
2020s: Angry old man.
2030s: Angry retired man.

#Dharmendra1988
Paap Ko Jalaa Kar Raakh Kar Doonga.
Kejri: Replace paap with New Delhi.
Lalu: Bihar for me.
Didi: 2 changes, West Bengal and last letter i.

Bihar’s MahaGatbandhan cannot be replicated in Uttar Pradesh.
It will become MahaGadbad.

Eat in a Dalit’s hut.
Take a few months off.
Travel in a Mumbai local.
Take a few months off.
Stand in an ATM queue.
Take a few months off.
#PappuPolitics

The glorious 2010s…
___got re-elected and destroyed___
1. Laloo-Bihar.
2. Mulayam-UP.
3. Kejri-Delhi.

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me a million times since 1947 and you’re the Indian Left and I’m an ordinary citizen.

In cricketing parlance, Modi is a captain who has won the World Cup while Pappu is still on the benches of a Ranji team.
Media will equalize them in 2019.

All Congress spokespersons get up every morning with the same thought.
How do I rubbish Modi’s achievements today?

Past tense…
Modi has won many times.
Present tense…
Modi is winning everything.
Future tense…
Modi will lose each and every time.
#Haters

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Raj karega Pappu

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Sonia to stay President.
Pappu to be Working President.
Priyanka may well become Non-working President.
Robert President-in-law.

In their twenties…
Motilal—Sole breadwinner of family.
Jawaharlal—Freedom fighter.
Sanjay—Virtual dictator of India.
Pappu—Still struggling in his forties.

If Congress goes from 45 to 90 seats in 2019, there will be hundreds of banner headlines all over of how miraculous Pappu doubles tally.

Congress is always ruthless.
Destroys its enemies.
BJP is always confused.
Tries to “Love Thy Enemy”.

100 years of dynasty…
1919: Motilal first Congress President.
2019: Pappu last Congress President after general elections.

Hearing from late 1990s…
Priyanka entering politics.
From early 2010s…
Pappu becoming Congress President.
At all times…
Sonia is unhappy.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi ✔ #OROP, Pappu-Kejri ✖ but asked for proof…

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Modi is the only Indian to be attacked, rubbished, vilified and demonized for working and actually delivering the goods.
#OROP

Defence procurement speeded up.
Army given free hand, #SurgicalStrike.
#OROP implemented.
#AdarshLiberals: Sparta! Modi is anti-Army!

Empty vessels make much noise.
Kejri is the emptiest vessel in India and hence makes maximum noise.

Mind-boggling spin.
Indira scraps #OROP.
Rajiv does nothing.
Sonia does nothing.
Modi implements #OROP.
Gets royally demonized for it.

Modi attacks his enemies failures.
His enemies attack Modi’s successes.
#OROP

Muslims in fear.
Churches under attack.
Dalits targeted.
Beef bans.
Servicemen woes…
Began only after 2014.
India was paradise from 1947-2014.

When Modi achieves India’s 100% electrification, he’ll be attacked for all electrical injuries, late night TV watching, high power bills…

Kejri-Pappu.
Kaam kaaj to kuch hai nahin.
Bas Bharat Darshan karo aur halla karo.

Tomorrow Pappu will walk on a highway built by the Government and claim there is no highway.
Kejri will ask for proof and flee without waiting for an answer.

2011—They ranted and raved against the worst politicians.
2016—They have surpassed those worst politicians to become the new mud standard.

Fake leaders.
Fake in government.
Fake causes.
Fake even as an Opposition.
#Congress #PoliticsOfDeath #KhoonKiDalali

#OROP
Congress = One Raag Only Pappu.
AAP = One Rut Only PM.

Priyanka-Robert have Lutyens’ bungalow & SPG despite doing nothing.
Pappu has paraphernalia beyond common MP.
One Family One Lifelong Pension.

Senior Leader of Opposition = Kejri.
Junior Leader of Opposition = Pappu.

Mahatma Gandhi went to jail for a cause.
Pappu Gandhi went to jail for #AdarshLiberals’ applause.

Funny.
Anti Army Party and Anti OROP Party screaming the loudest.
#OROPSucidePolitics

#Kejri.
Doing work for Delhi = 0%.
Commenting on everything that doesn’t concern him = 100%.
#OROP

#Pappu
Part time politician.
Time pass politics.
#Kejri
Full time nautanki.
Faltu politics.

#Kejri
2015: I promise this, this, that, that… sun, moon… falana dhimkana…
2020: Since I did none of that, same promises.

2 years after 2014, many successes.
5 years after 2011, still no Lokpal.
#Kejri

Greatest case of intolerance ever is still that which #AdarshLiberals show for Modi’s good work.
#OROP

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The #SurgicalStrike debate continues…

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Why we are a soft nation.
1939-45 World War 2: Full might of Air Force realized.
1962 China war: Nehru refuses to use IAF.
1999 Kargil War: Vajpayee reluctantly uses IAF, that too with restrictions.

India: Officially declare Pak a terror state and stop funds!
US: Have you officially declared Pak a terror state and snapped ties?
Apna haath Jagannath.

4 stages of Congress…
1. Denial.
No #SurgicalStrike took place.
2. Lies.
We did many #SurgicalStrikes.
3. Pettiness.
Army did strike, not government.
4. Ugliness.
Modi doing #KhoonKiDalaali of Jawans.

Pappu’s speechwriter has been steadily killing off his political career for ages and Pappu hasn’t even noticed it.
#KhoonKiDalaali

#ModiHaters
They have run out of valid attacks, then outlandish attacks, then stupid attacks and now have reached the realm of the bizarre.
#KhoonKiDalaali

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#SurgicalStrike? Show me the proof!

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Do you see the pattern?
No Gujarat development.
No Modi wave.
No Modi mandate (31%).
No India development.
No #SurgicalStrike.

Schrodinger’s Strike.
It is claimed to have not happened and condemned for having happened at the same time.
#SurgicalStrike

Why release #SurgicalStrike proof to satisfy #AdarshLiberals who will never be satisfied. Ever.

Those happy with #SurgicalStrike don’t want proof.
Those asking for proof will never be convinced anyway and may spend time debunking proof.

Einstein—E = mc².
Kejri—Abhi ke abhi convert karke dikha!
Schrondinger—If we take a box and close it…
Kejri—Abhi ke abhi box khol ke dikha!

I will offer 0.00% proof for my 1001 allegations…
…but…
Modi must offer proof of #SurgicalStrike to prove Pak is not a liar.
#Kejri

Abuse up front.
Backhanded compliments.
That’s all that Kejri has to offer Modi.
Modi is India. India is Modi.
Modi Haters are India Haters. India Haters are Modi Haters.
#SurgicalStrike

Things are coming to such a head that even if Modi wins 2019, Kejri-Pappu & Co. will agitate saying: Show us the proof!

They called the Ishrat case a Fake Encounter.
They have supersized that.
Now they are calling it a Fake #SurgicalStrike Encounter.
#SanjayNirupam

A. #SurgicalStrikes are bad. They go against the spirit of Nehru.
B. #SurgicalStrikes are good. Nehru masterminded them.
Congressi: OK, now let’s toss the coin.

Had PV Narasimha Rao launched #SurgicalStrikes in the 1990s, terrorism may have ended then and he might have won another term.

1989-2014—Thousands killed in Kashmir terrorism.
This is before Modi came, Balochistan was raised & #SurgicalStrike happened.

#AdarshLiberals
Hundreds of strikes by Pakistani Army trained terrorists.
Yawn!
1 #SurgicalStrike by Indian Army.
Sparta!!!

Height of expectations…
Calling for Pakistani artistes to condemn #UriAttacks when many Indian artistes refuse point blank to do so.

Kanoon saboot mangta hai!
In the case of #SurgicalStrike…
Chor saboot mangta hai!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru