Tag Archives: Pappu

Pappini, Pappu and other stories…

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Pappu/Pappini: Mere paas (SPG cover ki) gaadi hai, (Lutyens) bangla hai, bank balance hai… aur maa bhi hai! Tere paas kya hai?
Modi: Mere paas woh sab hai aur us ke saath kaam bhi hai!

Rajiv ¼ of Indira.
Sonia ¼ of Rajiv.
Pappu ¼ Sonia.
Pappini (Priyanka) ¼ of Pappu.
So the Pappini Raj begins in the Congress!

#PriyankaVadra
The woman who does nothing, achieved nothing and is nothing.
But for the party and media is everything.
#Pappini

Naidu.
Nitish.
Maya.
Patnaik.
Mulayam.
Mamata.
Any senior leader…
100 times more political achievements than Priyanka.
#Pappini

If Priyanka is like February 29 coming every 4 years, then media is like “365 24X7″: Any time ready to elevate and legitimize her!

Congress: We will double our power with Priyanka’s entry!
Problem: Pappu = 0. Pappini = 0.
0 X 2 = 0.

The fall.
Yesterday: Priyanka will get us a majority in 543 Lok Sabha seats!
Today: She will get us a majority in 105/403 UP Assembly seats!

Sonia’s Top 10 ruining India?
Look the other way.
Modi’s Top 10 trying to bring change?
Highlight some random Sangh leader’s remark 24X7.

Breaking news headline…
Politics of hate erupts in Uttar Pradesh!
So, that means Akhilesh’s Goonda Raj was spreading love for 5 years?

A man who is full of rhetoric and has no substance claims that #Budget2017 is full of rhetoric and has no substance.
#Pappu

A Tale of Two Pappus.
#SPCongAlliance

Congress doesn’t need mass leaders but managers*: Krishna.
(*=managers of the Dynasty’s egos)

West Bengal went from Centre Left (Congress) to Left (CPM) to far Left (Mamata).
Truly Left Bengal.
Or like the Eastern Bloc, spiritually East Bengal.

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi.
AAP Wars Final Episode: The Last Jhadu.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Raj karenge Pappu-Pappini…

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From before 2004 we have been hearing that Priyanka will campaign for Congress and do wonders for them.
Pappu-Pappini are forever young, forever hopeless.

An average 21-year-old Indian has more achievements than Priyanka Vadra.
But still the media goes batshit crazy every time she’s rumoured to campaign.

Yesterday.
Akhilesh has a corrupt lawless cycle!
Today.
Can you give me a lift on that cycle?
#Pappu

Rajiv: The last dynastic Prime Minister. (1989)
Sonia: The last dynastic kingmaker. (2014)
Pappu: The last would be dynastic Prime Minister.
Pappini: Beyond hope, but they’ll still push her.

If there’s anyone with lesser achievements than Pappu, it’s Priyanka “Pappini” Vadra.
Media always dying to promote her and give her credit.
#UPPolls

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu will be Pappu no matter what

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2013…
Phata Poster Nikhla Hero.
2017…
Phata Kurta Nikhla Pappu.

Modi Kurta.
Phata Kurta.
Former made his own destiny.
Latter got everything on platter and still tore it up.

Pappu tore an expensive kurta with expensive scissors on advice of expensive consultants at expensive rally to prove that he is poor.

Pappu will retire only in 2019 when he gives Modi a second term and totally destroys the Congress by then.

Half-way through Modi’s term…
Pappu still Congress hope.
Kejri still doing nautanki.
Nitish-Lalu tussle, Mulayam-Akhilesh fight, Mamata ruining WB.
#Mission2019 bright.

Charles is his inspiration.
At 68 he’s still a Prince to the Queen.
Pappu is just 46 and a Prince to Queen Sonia.

April 1: Pappu Diwas.
Mother’s Day: Pappu’s favourite diwas.
(The only person on Earth who has faith in him)

Congress loves the minorities so much that it itself has become a political minority.

The CongRace has been lost.
Pappu came last.

Kejri. Nitish. Mamata.
Kahi pe nigaahen (CM ki kursi) kahi pe nishaana (PM ki kursi).
Pappu: Na nigaahen na nishaana, bas ghoomta hua parwana.

Looks like we will be discussing UPA scams even during the 2019 general elections.

1947—Netaji kicked the British out.
1991—Rao kicked the economic Communists out.
2014—Modi kicked the Congress out.
Nehru-Gandhi who?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu kabhi nahin paas hoga musings

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The Congress has been severely downgraded thanks to #DemonetizaSON.
#Pappu

My speech will cause an earthquake: Pappu.
True.
Imagine crores of Indians watching and rolling on the floor with laughter at the same time.

Dear Pappu,
What are you doing?
You are too late for 2014.
And too early for 2019.

Dear Pappu,
Since 2004 there have been 1000+ Indian MPs.
You are not even in the Top 100.
Who cares whether you speak or not in Parliament!

Read my lips—no new taxes.
Bush—1988.
Thrashed in 1992.
Read my lips—The PM is personally terrified with the info I have.
Pappu—2016.
What to say to “already thrashed guy”?

Pappu,
You claim that your speech can cause an earthquake.
Well, Modi’s one word is enough to cause an earthquake.
“Mitron!”

Pappu ka earthquake aa ke chala bhi gaya.
Bahut bahut bada tha.
Par woh escape velocity ke saath chala gaya aur Jupiter pe hua.

If Pappu was an editor, he would release ads throughout the year saying…
Sensational scoop coming next year!

#PappuzWorld
Bofors = Development.
2G = Development.
Coalgate = Development.
#NationalHerald = Development.
#Demonetization = Greatest scam ever!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The UPA scams just go on and on…

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Economic Reforms.
1. Rao.
2. Vajpayee.
3. Modi.
That’s it.
Manmohan was merely initially Rao’s assistant and then Sonia’s.

Axis Bank in the news for all the wrong reasons post #Demonetization.
Fun fact of the day…
Manmohan inaugurated the first Axis Bank then UTI Bank) in 1994.

Father of Acidic Reforms. (Spoilt politics)
Father of Uneconomic Reforms. (Corruption)
#Manmohan
Anything but Father of Economic Reforms—That was Rao.

Father of Bionic Reforms. (Robot)
Father of Anaemic Reforms. (Low energy)
#Manmohan
Anything but Father of Economic Reforms—That was Rao.

Manmohan Singh is 84.
And he still has to dance to Madam’s tunes.
Ghulam till I die!

Aam aadmi = Lakhpati.
Middle class = Crorepati.
Trader = Arabpati (100 crores).
Industrialist = Kharabpati (10,000 crores).
All scamsters = Neelpati (10 lakh crores).

Manmohan.
Coal Minister innocent in Coalgate.
Economic whiz innocent in 2G.
Guess he’s snow white despite signing AgustaWestland files.

Deve Gowda was the Humble Farmer.
Manmohan Singh was the Fumble Harmer.

To think that Sonia and Manmohan knew absolutely nothing of all the umpteen scams that took place during UPA rule is the height of naivety.

100 scams under Sonia’s UPA—They leave her totally alone. Totally.
Any move Modi makes big or small—Go batshit crazy & attack: Sparta!!!

UPA did 0/10 things.
No outrage for first 7-8 years.
Modi does 5/10 things.
A. He’s doing these 5 things wrong.
B. Why isn’t he doing the other 5 things?

Sonia’s UPA did scam upon scam and no-one attacked her, investigated her or went after her.
Modi’s every bold positive move is attacked viciously.

With the way he’s blabbing non-stop, looks like the P in P Chidambaram stands for Pappu.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Another never-ending round of Pappu musings…

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Pappu: Has no brain.
Puppet: Can’t use his brain.

Rahul is about
½ of Manmohan’s age
¼ of his grace
1/6 of his experience
1/8 of his intellect
But Manmohan is zero.
So they are both same in the end.

Nehru pushed Indira into politics.
Indira pushed Sanjay/Rahul politics.
Sonia pushing Pappu into politics.

Advisor: We are at an all-time low of 45 Lok Sabha seats. We can’t go any lower!
Pappu: Challenge accepted!

Manmohan Singh’s biography…
The Accidental Prime Minister.
Rahul Gandhi’s biography…
The Accident.

All dynasts got Prime Ministership/Remote Control on platter.
Pappu has been an MP for 12 years and is still struggling.
#AccheDin

In 15 years, Indira won party leadership, elections, wars, did Pokhran, made many bold moves…
In last 15 years, #Pappini Priyanka bagged Sidhu.

Modi 2019 strategy: Development + Governance + #SurgicalStrikes + FDI windfall + 500 rallies…
Congress 2019 strategy: Hey! #Pappini Priyanka looks like Indira!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru