Tag Archives: Pappu

More 2014 Congress debacle musings…

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Leaving BJP, only 7 parties reached double digits.
This is a Snow White (Modi) and the 7 Dwarves (Sonia, Jaya, Mamata, Naveen, Uddhav, Naidu, KCR) Lok Sabha.

A full revamp in the Congress is on the cards…
New designations…
Sonia: Senior President.
Pappu: Senior Vice President.
Pappini: Acting Associate Vice President.

2002: Modi should resign.
2014: 2002 people may have to resign because of Modi.

Ability…
If Nehru = 100%.
Indira = 50%.
Rajiv = 25%.
Sonia = 12.5%.
Rahul = 6.25%.
Coming soon…
Priyanka = 3.125%.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

2014 Congress debacle musings…

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Osho’s epitaph…
Never born, never died—Only visited this planet Earth between December 11, 1931 and January 19, 1990.
Manmohan’s epitaph…
Never sworn in, never sworn out—Only visited the PMO between May 22, 2004 and May 17, 2014.

Observe…
Two minutes silence for the Congress.
Two minutes speech for Manmohan.

Pappu: We are a pro-poor party.
Voter: You are a poor party.

2014…
Pappu lao, Congress dubao.
2019…
Pappini lao, Congress dubao.
Dare to think beyond the dynasty?

Song…
Where’s the party tonight?
Swann Song…
Where’s the Congress party, no fight?

Q: Will you resign?
Pappu: I resigned to my fate long back.
Q: What about your PM dreams?
A: PM? I prefer just dreams.

1991—Madam you’re great, please lead us.
1998—Madam you’re great, please lead us.
2004—Madam you’re great, please lead us.
2014—Madam you’re great, please lead us.
#Congress #Sonia

Pappu: We are India’s default programme.
Voter: Arre pahale kyun nahin bataya! Chalo naya programma install karta hu. Thanks Pappu!

In a parallel universe, #AbkiBaarPappuSarkaar has won and India has been Pappufied.

Problem…
Pappu lao Congress dubao.
Solution…
Pappini lao poori tarah se Congress dubao.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Goodbye Congress musings…

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Goodbye…
UPA2.
MMS.
Sonia.
Goodbye and see you in 5 years…
Mrs Vadra.
Try to stay humble for 5 years …
BJP.
What will you do for 5 years?
Pappu.

In 1919 Motilal became Congress President and formally launched the dynasty.
If Pappu-Pappini lose in 2019 too, then they can put flowers on its tombstone on the Centenary.

Now the entire mainstream media can proudly call themselves anti-establishment.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The sheer brilliance of Pappu the great…

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Q: What is your post?
Pappu: Vice…. errr something.

Q: When will you be PM candidate?
Pappu: Can’t de date.

Q: Your election strategy?
Pappu: It’s been Modified.

Q: Opinion polls?
Pappu: No opinion.

Q: Exit polls?
Pappu: My exit strategy ready.

Q: PM’s farewell dinner?
A: Yes, the PM did not fare well at all. What’s for dinner?

Q: Swearing in ceremony?
Pappu: I will be swearing only.

Q: Leader of the Opposition?
Pappu: I will oppose that too.

Q: Strategy for 2019?
Pappu: 20…??? I can’t even plan 19 minutes into the future!

© Sunil Rajguru

When Pappu skipped the PM’s dinner…

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Pappu is an Indian superhero.
Specifically Mr India.
Invisible during key times like August Kranti agitation and #PappuSkipsPMDinner.

Pappu to MMS: Tumhare ministers ne itna khaaya ki main protest main tumhare dinner main nahin khaaunga.

Out of the country half the time.
Pappu = NRP.
(Non-Resident Politician)

New Congress ad posters for Pappu after May 16…
Main nahin (haara), Hum (haare).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty musings…

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Give me 60 months and I’ll change India: Narendra Modi.
Give me 1 month’s limelight every 60 months and I’ll change India: Priyanka Vadra.

1966: Indira desh bachayegi.
1977: Sanjay desh bachayega.
1984: Rajiv desh bachayega.
2004: Sonia desh bachayegi.
2009: Pappu desh bachayega.
2014: Pappini desh bachayegi.
Desh: Arre koi to mujhe Nehru-Gandhi dynasty se bachao!!!

Total days spent by Sonia+Pappu+Pappini as PM/CM/Minister = Zero.
Number of really tough questions asked of them till date = Zero.
Amount looted in scams committed in last 10 years = 1ZeroZeroZeroZeroZeroZeroZero…

1999: Will Priyanka contest polls?
2004: Will she contest?
2009: Will she contest?
2014: Will she contest?
2019…
2024…
#MrsVadra

Mera dynasty parameshwar: Congress man.
Mera pati paramaeshwar: Priyanka Vadra.
Hai na Vadra mahaan!

Waise “Pappu Model” kya hai?
Aur “Vadra Model” kya hai?
(Both Robert and Priyanka versions)
#GujaratModel

Congress: We have a larger role for Priyanka!
Q: How?
Congress: In 2009 elections she spent a total 10 hours campaigning. This time she’ll do 15 hours!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru