Tag Archives: NaMo

The biggest question…

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In the last couple of years in politics…

Biggest scam: Coalgate.

Most high profile scam: 2G.

Biggest contradiction: MMS is Coal Minister and economic whiz (2G) and yet not accountable.

Biggest scam to claim a CM: Adarsh.

Most scams: UPA2. (All-time record)

Most powerful person: Sonia.

Biggest irony: Sonia gets minimum blame.

Most narcissist leader: Maya. (Statues! Statues! Statues!)

Most paranoid leader: Mamata. (Maoist! Arrest them! Conspiracy!)

Most arrogant: The average Congress spokesperson.

Most Draconian legislation: Section 66A.

Most idiotic statements: Diggy Raja.

Most reluctant leader: Pappu.

Most high-handed action: Water cannons against the anti-rape protestors.

Most riots: UP.

Most fake encounters: UP.

The biggest disappointment: Akhilesh.

Most irrelevant leader: Advani.

The biggest headaches for the aam aadmi: Economy, inflation, petrol-onion prices, job market, agricultural woes…

The biggest question…
If this is the case, then why is most of the time spent in rubbishing, attacking, maligning and going after Modi?

© Sunil Rajguru

More on Advani and Modi’s PM dreams…

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Most TV anchors have just stopped short of wearing “I love Advani” T-shirts.

Elsewhere…
62-year-old retires to pave way for new generation.
Here…
62-year-old struggles to retire 85-year-old to launch new generation.

Advani, the 100% man…
1% relevant in Politics.
99% relevant in Political Analysis.

The NaMo Rocket…
Stage 1: Can’t stay as CM.
Stage 2: Can’t be PM candidate.
You are now entering Stage 3…
Can’t be PM.

Friday the 13th.
Lucky for some. (#NaMo)
Unlucky for others. (Too many to list!)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The sum of news reporting in India…

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UPA a train wreck?
Say Modi isn’t the alternative.

Riots in UP?
Point fingers at BJP.

Thousands of fake encounters?
Just focus on one in Gujarat.

Anything remotely positive on Gujarat?
Focus sharply on the negatives.

Congress a disaster?
Censor even the mention of Sonia.

Vadra in scam?
Say “private citizen” a thousand times.

Vadra’s name at airports?
Royal ignore.

Food bill an economy wrecker?
Call critics elitists.

Pappu a disaster?
Still back him blindly anyway.

Heavy criticism on Twitter?
Launch “Attack of the Trolls” campaign.

More heavy criticism on Twitter?
Call for Tweeple to be arrested.

Blow to Modi.
Is the new “Hello! How are you?”

Economy in ruins?
Global economy. Syria. Cycles. Anything but…

Diggy Raja?
The gospel truth.

1984?
The year Indira was assassinated and Rajiv elected.

1984?
That’s about it, isn’t it?

1969, 1980, 1983, 1989, and 1991-92 major riots?
What? Riots took place in those years?

2002?
Now you’re talking! Keep talking!

Amartya Sen?
Nobel Laureates are always right!

VS Naipaul?
Communal! Fascist!

Sonia unhappy?
Shiver. Shiver. Shake. Shake.

Modi furious at 11-year witch-hunt?
Serves him right! He should be hanged!

© Sunil Rajguru

“Communal” BJP musings…

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The MSM 95-95 rule…
95% scams and riots take place under Congress regimes.
95% coverage by media will be given to BJP scams and riots.

UP…
Rulers: SP.
Opposition: BSP.
Central rulers: Congress.
Yet for riots, BJP has to be invoked.

Even if it was a Robert Vadra versus Narendra Modi fight for Prime Minister, these people would blindly back Vadra.

If it was a BJP Chief Minister in UP today, then President’s Rule would already have been invoked.
“Secular” parties have a right to be communal.
“Communal” parties can’t even talk of development.

While you were sleeping, sorry, attacking Modi…
UPA was destroying economy.
SP was communalizing UP.
China-Pak were mocking our borders…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi coronation musings…

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Shivraj: Don’t announce before 2013 Assembly polls.
Sushma: Don’t announce before 2014 LS polls.
Advani: Don’t announce before 2019 LS polls!

A: Is Modi peaking too early?
B: Looks like the mud-slinging against him is peaking too early. At this rate they’ll have nothing left by 2014.

Guru: The real enemy is always within and around you.
Modi: I know. Congress ko to main dekh loonga, par ye…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How Modi lost debates with every single Congress leader…

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First candidate: Manmohan Singh.

Modi: Question 1…
MMS: Madam se poochke aata hu.
Modi: Question 2…
MMS: Pappu se poochke aata hu.
Modi: Questions 3 to 1002.
MMS: Hazaron jawabon se achhi hai meri khaamoshi.
Modi: I give up!

Candidate 2: Salman Khurshid.

Modi: When I become Prime Minister tomorrow…
Khurshid: Forget tomorrow, I will make your Modi Today as Modi Yesterday.
Modi: When I come to Delhi…
Khurshid: Come to Delhi, but how will you go back?
Modi: That’s the idea, I’ll stay there!
Khurshid: Aaye Delhi par naa jaaye Delhi se to jeet to meri hi hui na?
Modi: Facepalm.

Candidate 3: Pappu.

Modi: Gujarat is a…
Pappu: Beehive!
Modi: When I become PM…
Pappu: Not happening man!
Modi: OK, tell me what you will do when you become PM?
Pappu: But I don’t want to be PM.
Modi: Then what are you doing here?
Pappu: I don’t know, you called me!
Modi: Arrrggghhhh!!!!

Candidate 4: Sonia.

Modi monologues for more than an hour.
Sonia’s secretary: Under RTI, Sonia cannot reveal anything to you. Goodbye!
Modi… speechless…

Candidate 5: Kapil Sibal.

Modi: Gujarat development…. blah blah blah… statistics and figures… blah blah blah… examples and anecdotes… blah blah blah… phew! I’m tired.
Sibal: Into Zero. Everything you have said is zero and hence the Congress party has suffered Zero Loss in this debate. I win. Bye!
Modi: What the…

Candidate 6: Shashi Tharoor.

Modi: 50 crore girlfriend!
Tharoor: She is priceless!
Modi: I have developed thousands of crores blah blah blah…
Tharoor: My contribution is priceless!
Modi: I have great love for this country.
Tharoor: My love is priceless!
Modi: Thanks to the Congress India has lost thousands of crores of Rupees.
Tharoor: But India is priceless! If you take away thousands of crores from something that is priceless, it remains priceless!

Candidate 7: Jairam Ramesh.

Modi: Development…
Ramesh: Fascist!
Modi: Growth rate…
Ramesh: Fascist!
Modi: Congress has ruined…
Ramesh: Fascist!
(Modi to himself: This reminds me of my debate with the mainstream media. Yahan kuch nahin ho sakta.)

Candidate 8: Manish Tewari.

Tewari: Holistic… moral… fascist… dictatorial… Nazi… holistic… empowerment… holistic…
Modi: Bhaaago!!!! Isko koi dus second bhi kaise jhel sakta hai, bhagwaan jaane!

Candidate 9: Diggy Raja.

Diggy: 2002!
Modi: 1984!
Diggy: Yes, 1984 was orchestrated by RSS, so I lead 2-0!
Modi: Economy!
Diggy: Actually ruined by the RSS’ influence on the makhauta that was Vajpayee from 1998-2004.
Modi: Pakistan, China, scams, Vadra, arrogance…
Diggy: All RSS!
Modi: What do I have to do to get a proper debate out of you without you mentioning the RSS?
Diggy: Travel back in time and don’t join the RSS!
Modi: Tu jeeta. Absolutely no-one can counter your RSS*!
(*=Really Stupid Statements)

Candidate 10: Renuka Chowdhury.

Modi speaks for an hour and all that while Renuka in turns looks away, looks haughtily, looks bored, looks at Modi with great disgust…
At the end of Modi’s monologue he looks at her and says: Your turn.
Renuka remarks: Main kya koi tota hu kya, ki Modi ne bola bol aur main bolu? Bye!

Candidate 11: AK Antony

Antony comes, looks at Modi and says: This is not Modi, but someone dressed as Modi, so I am walking out…

© Sunil Rajguru