The sum of news reporting in India…

UPA a train wreck?
Say Modi isn’t the alternative.

Riots in UP?
Point fingers at BJP.

Thousands of fake encounters?
Just focus on one in Gujarat.

Anything remotely positive on Gujarat?
Focus sharply on the negatives.

Congress a disaster?
Censor even the mention of Sonia.

Vadra in scam?
Say “private citizen” a thousand times.

Vadra’s name at airports?
Royal ignore.

Food bill an economy wrecker?
Call critics elitists.

Pappu a disaster?
Still back him blindly anyway.

Heavy criticism on Twitter?
Launch “Attack of the Trolls” campaign.

More heavy criticism on Twitter?
Call for Tweeple to be arrested.

Blow to Modi.
Is the new “Hello! How are you?”

Economy in ruins?
Global economy. Syria. Cycles. Anything but…

Diggy Raja?
The gospel truth.

1984?
The year Indira was assassinated and Rajiv elected.

1984?
That’s about it, isn’t it?

1969, 1980, 1983, 1989, and 1991-92 major riots?
What? Riots took place in those years?

2002?
Now you’re talking! Keep talking!

Amartya Sen?
Nobel Laureates are always right!

VS Naipaul?
Communal! Fascist!

Sonia unhappy?
Shiver. Shiver. Shake. Shake.

Modi furious at 11-year witch-hunt?
Serves him right! He should be hanged!

© Sunil Rajguru