Tag Archives: MMS

When Manmohan lost his cool in the Rajya Sabha…

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Manmohan: So how did I do today?
Social Media Unit: Great sir! #PMChorHai is trending right at the top!
Manmohan: #TheekHai
Social Media Unit: Hehe, that’s a classic sir!

Gali gali main shor hain,
PM ke speeches bore hai.

Gali gali main chor hai,
Ye sab khaali shor hai.

The new “na ghar ka na ghat ka”…
Bharat ka Pradhan Mantri na economics ka na politics ka.

MMS: Madam madam, ye sab log mujhe chor bol rahe hai!
Pappu: You’re like Rani ki Jhansi… Lot of anger in you… Must be checked… It’s all a state of mind… Rajya Sabha is a beehive…
MMS: #TheekHai

Manmohan Singh taught me…
1. Money doesn’t grow on trees.
2. Theek Hai.
3. India only country where MPs shout PM chor hai.
4. N-deal most important thing from 2004-13.

Which country in the world?
1. PM = Puppet.
2. PM refuses to give regular PCs.
3. Scams’ record broken.
4. Food Bill to counter economic crisis.
5. A private citizen’s name at airports.

Finally released in Rajya Sabha in 2013…
Kab Tak Chup Rahunga?
Manmohan Singh Ko Gussa Kyun Aata Hai?

Progress…
1980s—Slogan in streets: Gali gali main shor hain, Rajiv Gandhi chor hai.
2013—Slogan in Parliament: PM chor hai.

Pappu: Lot of anger in India. Must be checked.
Manmohan: Sabse jyaada gussa to mujhe aa raha hai!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

State of the nation in numbers…

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Q: What’s common to Manmohan Singh and onions?
A: Both are 80. Both make you cry!

By a quirk of fate, India, Sonia and Rupee are all 66.

All Indian PMs have been older than India.
(They were born before Independence)
Modi could break this record.
P.S. Pappu is just older than Bangladesh.

Modi, 62.
Sonia, 66.
India, 66.
Rupee, 66.
Petrol, 76.
Onion, 80.
MMS, 80.
LKA, 85.
Sirf Pappu jawan hai!

True story.
Write a status message about the value of the Rupee (versus the dollar).
By the time you post it, the Rupee’s gone up again!

Rupee trolling and trailing Petrol saying…
Akele akele kahaan jaa rahe ho,
Hame saath le lo jahaan jaa rahe ho…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Manmohan Singh and state of the nation musings 6…

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C for Congress.
C for Corruption.
C for Communalism.
C for Crony Capitalism.
C for Chamchas.
C for Ctr-Alt-Del.
#2014Polls

What happened when Manmohan Singh called the Economy, Rupee, Petrol to a game of Ring a ring o roses?
What else?
Remember the end…
“We all fall down.”

Lagta hai 2014 main MMS, Chidu, Rupee sab ek saath retire ho jaayenge.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Silsila of the lonely Prime Minister…

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Main aur meri tanhaai, aksar ye baatein karte hai,
Reed ki haddi: Tum hoti to kaisi hota,
Tum ye kahati, Tum woh kahati,
Tum is decision pe hairaan hoti, tum us scheme pe kitni hansti,
Tum hoti to main accha hotaa, tum hoti to main dhang ka kaam karta,
Main aur meri tanhaai, Aksar ye baatain karate hain…
Economy enters and sings…
Ye kahaan aa gaye hum, yunhi saath saath chalte…

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

(Original Song: Ye kahaan aa gaye hum.
Film: Silsila.
Year: 1981.)

Manmohan Singh and state of the nation musings 5…

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Congress is like Internet Explorer.
Nobody wants it, but since it’s the default setting and many people are too lazy to change it or download something else, it still has 30-40% market share.

Jaane kahan mera file gaya jee.
Jaane kahan mera PM gaya jee.
Janne kahan mera Government gaya jee.
Jaane kahan mera desh ja raha hai jee.

Generations to come will scarce believe that a Prime Minister ruled India from 2004-14.
— (If) Albert Einstein (was alive today)

Dear Economy,
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
If NREGA don’t get you, Food Bill must.

Old: If you love her, give her diamonds.
New: If you love her, take her on a long drive in your petrol car and make Chicken/Paneer Do Pyaza just for her.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Manmohan Singh and state of the nation musings 4…

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Singh = Sinking.
Sonianomics = Destructonomics.
Politics = Poli tricks.
Governance = Governone.
NREGA = India ka lega.
Food Bill = Final Kill.

The Gayab Sarkar…
Any ghotala: Files are missing.
Prime Minister on key issues: Words are missing.
Pappu during a crisis: His presence is missing.

There is a rumour that Paul McCartney was replaced with a look-alike in 1966.
The same thing may have happened to Manmohan Singh in 2009.

Q1: What do you think of Western civilization?
Mahatma Gandhi: I think it would be a good idea.
Q2: What do you think of Indian Economy?
Manmohan Singh: I think it would be a good idea.

American: Day by day we can buy lesser and lesser stuff with $1.
Pappu: Wow! We are doing much better! In India, day by day you can buy more stuff with $1!

Sonia is totally pro-poor. She doesn’t want the poor to cry.
Proof: Onions have been taken totally out of the reach of poor.
They don’t have to cry while cutting them anymore.

#MMS
Petrol
#TheekHai
Onion
#TheekHai
Rupee
#TheekHai
Economy
#TheekHai
Stock Market
#TheekHai
Food Bill
#TheekHai
Dimaag?
#TheekNahinHai

It should be called IBR because…
India is Banking on its Reserves right now.

The Rupee comforts Indians…
Don’t worry.
I have a very long life.
I can go till 115-120 like some old people.
I am just 65 now.
#Dollar

Foresight…
CoalGate = Rs 2 lakh crore ghotala.
FoodBillGate = Rs 3 lakh crore ghotala potential?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru