Tag Archives: MMS

It’s still Congress all the way…

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Plans for UPA3?
Manmohan…
Ho Raha Pappu Nirman.
Pappu Shining.
Mera Pappu Mahan.
Then Aam Admi’s slogan will be…
Pappu Hatao!

Rahul is about
½ of Manmohan’s age
¼ of his grace
1/6 of his experience
1/8 of his intellect
But Manmohan is zero.
So they are both same in the end.

In 2009, the Triumvirate ruled.
In 2014…
Sonia: The Mistaker.
Manmohan: The Caretaker.
Pappu: The Undertaker.

Then: Queen Victoria.
Now: Queen Sonia.
Then: Foreign hand.
Now: Saffron hand.
Then: Gareebi Hatao Slogan.
Now: Gareebi Hatao Bill.

India invented the Zero.
Then the Congress kept adding a Zero to their scam amount every time they got re-elected.

Jethmalani at 90 still thunders.
Mugabe at 89 is Prez.
Lee Kuan Yew retired at 87.
Advani at 85 still hopes to be PM.
Manmohan at 80 to jawan hai!

Macbeth Manmohan…
This government’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets its hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more: it is a regime,
Led by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
(With due apologies to William Shakespeare)

Said…
Manmohan: I am ready to work under Rahul.
Unsaid: I am just a remote control. Doesn’t matter who handles it.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Manmohan Singh and state of the nation musings 7…

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Beta, tu bada ho kar kya banega?
Beta: (Chup).
Beta, tu bada ho kar kya banega?
Beta: (Chup).
Beta, tu bada ho kar kya banega?
Beta: Arre! Kabse Manmohan ki acting kar raha hu!

Three reasons why the economy collapsed…
1. Finance Minister took wrong decisions.
2. FM took wrong inputs from PM.
3. PM took wrong inputs from Sonia.

Andhra Congressman: Sir our State is on autopilot. How long can such a situation last?
Manmohan Singh: Don’t worry! I put India on autopilot in 2004. It’s still running, na?
#TheekHai?

Manmohanomics Version 1.0, 1991-96: Decent performance.
Manmohanomics Version 2.0, 2004-13: Full of bugs, glitches, hangs frequently, F1 not working, but works silently.

One Finance Minister’s lonely.
Two’s company.
Three’s a crowd (and mess).
(=Manmohan+Chidu+Pranab)

Finance Minister’s blame game…
Chidu: Mere pahale Pranabda tha.
Pranabda: Mere pahale tu tha!
Chidu: Tab mere pahale Jaswant tha!
Jaswant: Aur mere baad tu. Financial cycles seedhe chalte hai ya reverse main?

Rupee?
Sy₹ia! P₹anab!
Blame it on anything but $ingh.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How Manmohan Singh is still King…

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Singh is sinKing.

Singh is shrinKing.

Singh is wrecKing.

Singh is panicKing.

Singh is breaKing.

Singh is faKing.

Singh is choKing.

Singh is creaKing.

Singh is forsaKing.

Singh is hoodwinKing.

Singh is backtracKing.

Singh is unmaKing.

Singh is cracKing.

Singh is mismaKing.

Singh is mistaKing.

Singh is mythmaKing.

Singh is ransacKing.

Singh is ShylocKing.

#TheekHai?
#MMS

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Gali gali main shor hai, mera PM…

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Gali gali main squeak hai,
Mera PM weak hai,
Dus saal main seekh ye,
Mera PM meek hai,
Aakhir main sab #TheekHai.

The movie on UPA’s #DecadeOfDecay will be called…
ChitChor.
Why?
Because it’s full of “Chors” all of whom have been given clean “Chits”.

PM: The core issue is you!
Opposition: The chor issue is you!

UPA + Utopia
= UPAtopia
= Upar se topi pahana liya.

When he should speak, he keeps quiet.
When he speaks, no-one listens.
His economics don’t help the economy.
His politics don’t help the polity.

A movie on Manmohan Singh’s life would be called O.H.M.S.
On Her Majesty’s Service.
He has been serving the Dynasty and not the nation since 1998.

Tweet Tweet main shor hai,
Mera PM chor hai.
#PMChorHai

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Manmohan turned into a joke…

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Rajinikanth released Robot in 2010 and it ran for many weeks.
But that’s nothing.
UPA released Robot in 2004 and it’s still running!
#TheekHai?

For years, I was tired that India was a #ChaltaHai nation.
But Manmohan has single-handedly transformed that.
Now we are a #TheekHai nation.

But seriously!
2011: How can you joke about Manmohan? The poor man is trying his best!
2012: Did you hear the joke about Manmohan?
2013: Manmohan is a joke!

PM: Opposition ko jalakar raakh kar doonga!
Q: But what about economy, governance etc?
PM: Hehe, woh to already raakh ho chuke hai, #TheekHai?

The superlatives…
UPA=Most corrupt <But> MMS=Most honest.
Sonia=Most powerful <But> Sonia=Least accountable.
Pappu=Most promising <But> Pappu=Least achievements.

PM: Have you heard any country where MPs shout “PM chor hai”?
A: No, very few countries in the world speak Hindi.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru