Tag Archives: Manmohan Singh

Musings on Manmohan Singh the great economist…

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Cash for votes scam and Nuclear Deal came together.
Instead of nuclear energy being kick started, it was the scams that went critical and became a chain reaction to blow up the economy.

What are the chances?
1991: Manmohan lays the foundation stone for India’s new economy.
2014: Same person lays its tombstone.

Once Oxbridge used to build nations, today they destroy them.
‪#‎MMS‬ ‪#‎Pappu‬ ‪#‎Khurshid‬ ‪#‎Mani‬
Once Harvard alumni used to build the economy, today they destroy it.
‪#‎Bush‬ ‪#‎Chidu‬ ‪#‎ZeroLossSibal‬

Manmohan…
The only man to have given 1300 official speeches and still said nothing.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The wish that came true…

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Sometime in the past…
Young Indian citizen: Oh God! I’m tired of these illiterate, uneducated, crooked politicians who have no understanding of the economy ruling the country. Give an educated and understanding outsider for a change!

God: Tathastu!
Let me prepare someone… Rank holder… Oxford… Cambridge… PhD… United Nations… Planning Commission… RBI… economic whiz… honest… clean… sincere… There that should do it!

Sometime now…
Old Indian Citizen: Hey bhagwaan! Ye kis gadhe ko bhej diya hum pe raaj karne!

<Divine facepalm>

Moral: Be careful what you wish for. You might just get it!

© Sunil Rajguru

UPA-Manmohan Singh musings…

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Funny isn’t it how the Congress with 27% Lok Sabha seats (2004-09) and 38% seats (2009-13) + 29% Rajya Sabha seats has got its way in almost everything?

In 2006, Jason Gillespie was sent as a night watchman in a Test match.
He scored a double century.
In 2004, the Congress sent a night watchman to head the government.
He is still batting!

44 bills off 16 days.
If BJP helps clear them: Match-fixing!
If BJP doesn’t: Negative bowling! Not in the right spirit!

Spot the difference.
44 runs off 16 balls…
Dhoni: Theek hai.
44 bills off 16 days…
MMS: Theek hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

It’s all about the Congress…

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· India’s terror equation…
Left-inspired Naxalism
+ Indira Gandhi backed Bhindranwale
+ Khurshid lawyer for SIMI
+ Laloo parades Osama look-alike for polls
= BJP supports terrorism.

· Congress: We are fixing our biggest problems!
Q: Corruption? Terrorism? Inflation? Economy?
Congress: No! No! Modi. BJP. RSS. Baaki sab bhaad main jaaye!

· Manmohan: Are these Chinese excursions serious?
Official: No sir, it’s just a case of “Aaya cheen gaya cheen”.

· Official: Chinese excursions!
MMS: Stop playing cricket with them!
Official: But we don’t play with them!
MMS: Wow! So action already taken!

· Reality…
2009: Congress probably led BJP 20-0.
Since then the BJP has done nothing and Congress has been busy scoring own-goals.
That’s why the BJP is “close” now.

· Manmohan Singh is still in mute mode.
All he has done is thrown incomprehensible numbers at us.
The words are still invisible.

· Peter Principle…
Every one rises to his level of incompetence and stays there.
‪#‎ManmohanSingh‬ ‪#‎PrimeMinister‬ ‪#‎NineYears‬

· What MMS really said on economy…
Basic fundamentals are sound (the alarm bugle!) and stable (for scams).

· Somewhere down the line Manmohan has forgotten even the spellings of both Economy and Politics.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Manmohan Singh, sab Theek Hai na?

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∙ Mere hazaron jawabo se achche hai mere do shabd: Theek Hai.

∙ I’m OK, You’re OK by Thomas Harris.
Main Theek Hu, Tum Theek Ho, Sab Theek Hai by Manmohan Singh.

∙ Manmohan was telling the secret of a happy marriage.
Always say to your wife: Theek Hai!

∙ Manmohan Singh is no longer King… Singh is SinKing… Singh is BacktracKing… Singh is HoodwinKing… Singh is ShaKing… Singh is ShrinKing…

∙ Today if Mahatma Gandhi had visited India Gate, he would’ve been water cannoned, lathicharged and dismissed as a Maoist.
MMS would still say: Theek Hai.

∙ MMS: How is the situation in Delhi?
Shinde: Theek Hai.
MMS: Stop making fun of me!

∙ The Meek shall inherit the earth: Bible.
The Theek shall inherit the nation: Sonia.
Manmohan: Hai!

∙ Father of first generation of reforms: Narasimha Rao.
Father of second generation of reforms: AB Vajpayee.
Father of third… sorry… Overhyped Assistant: Manmohan Singh.
Theek Hai?

∙ Be the change you wish to see in the world: Mahatma Gandhi.
I don’t want anything to change, Theek Hai?: Manmohan Singh.

∙ In the beginning was the Word.
And that Word was TheekHai.

∙ Said: We have daughters.
Unsaid: We don’t care about your daughters.
Theek Hai?

∙ Newsweek and Manmohan were born around the same time.
The print edition of Newsweek has been retired.
Manmohan ab aap ki baari. Theek Hai?

∙ There is a term called “sathiya gaya”.
Manmohan has created a new term called “assiya gaya”.
Tussi jaoge? Ho gaya assi, jaoge?

∙ Manmohan Singh is single-handedly transforming this “Chalta Hai!” nation to a “Theek Hai?” nation.

∙ Manmohan Singh, you are right.
Tumhare hazaron sade hue speeches se achchi hai tumhari total khamoshi.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

If Manmohan did a Churchill…

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We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in Cyberspace, we shall fight with the national and global media, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in censorship, we shall defend our arrogance, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight with Time magazine, we shall fight with the Washington Post, we shall fight with Facebook and with Twitter, we shall fight all the blogs; we shall never surrender…
—Manmohan Singh, for UPA2.

We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender…
—Winston Churchill, for World War 2.

Spoof by Sunil Rajguru