Tag Archives: Anti-Rape Protests

Dented and painted…

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· Possible explanation No. 23…
Abhijitda was born with a dented brain. His father did a terrific paint job to hide it. That paint finally came off when he danced too vigorously at a local disco.

· Abhijitda defence No. 99…
My father’s friends sent out the water canons, tear gas shells and lathi-charge orders.
All I did was say a few words!

· The protestors were looking for a new sunrise, instead they got a new sonrise.
Now I wish for a permanent sonset.

· One President pardons rapists.
The next President’s son rubbishes anti-rape protestors.
Congress, abhi-jeet nahin milne wali 2014 main, Theek Hai?

· Pranabda: You have surpassed my life’s work in a single day.
Abhijitda: Thanks!
Pranabda: I meant you have got more brickbats in a day than I got in my whole life!

· Abhijitda, you have Dented your career by Painting such a sexist view of the protestors.
Disco? Tum khisko!

· Indian Politician yesterday: Kal main desh ki dhadkan banunga!
Indian Politician today: Kal main Twitter ka hashtag banunga!

· Abhijitda: Twitter is full of stupid DPs.
Twerson: Display Pictures?
Abhijitda: No! Dented Painted women!

· Key learning of the day: “Dancing in the disco” is the antonym of “Protesting against rape”.

· Manish: Hazare is totally corrupt! Take I&B Ministry.
Salman: I’ll turn ink to blood! Take Foreign Ministry.
Abhijit: Dented-Painted. Which Ministry will I get madam?

· Rahul probably told his youth leaders to be sexy.
Abhijitda heard “sexist”.

· Yesterday Abhijitda got up feeling like a nobody.
Today he got up feeling like a celebrity.
We’re the suckers as practically Zero % action was taken against him.

· West Bengal.
There was great violence under the Left rule.
Mamata calls rapes a conspiracy.
Congress star Abhijit is painted, dented and demented.
So who does the State vote for?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Manmohan Singh, sab Theek Hai na?

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∙ Mere hazaron jawabo se achche hai mere do shabd: Theek Hai.

∙ I’m OK, You’re OK by Thomas Harris.
Main Theek Hu, Tum Theek Ho, Sab Theek Hai by Manmohan Singh.

∙ Manmohan was telling the secret of a happy marriage.
Always say to your wife: Theek Hai!

∙ Manmohan Singh is no longer King… Singh is SinKing… Singh is BacktracKing… Singh is HoodwinKing… Singh is ShaKing… Singh is ShrinKing…

∙ Today if Mahatma Gandhi had visited India Gate, he would’ve been water cannoned, lathicharged and dismissed as a Maoist.
MMS would still say: Theek Hai.

∙ MMS: How is the situation in Delhi?
Shinde: Theek Hai.
MMS: Stop making fun of me!

∙ The Meek shall inherit the earth: Bible.
The Theek shall inherit the nation: Sonia.
Manmohan: Hai!

∙ Father of first generation of reforms: Narasimha Rao.
Father of second generation of reforms: AB Vajpayee.
Father of third… sorry… Overhyped Assistant: Manmohan Singh.
Theek Hai?

∙ Be the change you wish to see in the world: Mahatma Gandhi.
I don’t want anything to change, Theek Hai?: Manmohan Singh.

∙ In the beginning was the Word.
And that Word was TheekHai.

∙ Said: We have daughters.
Unsaid: We don’t care about your daughters.
Theek Hai?

∙ Newsweek and Manmohan were born around the same time.
The print edition of Newsweek has been retired.
Manmohan ab aap ki baari. Theek Hai?

∙ There is a term called “sathiya gaya”.
Manmohan has created a new term called “assiya gaya”.
Tussi jaoge? Ho gaya assi, jaoge?

∙ Manmohan Singh is single-handedly transforming this “Chalta Hai!” nation to a “Theek Hai?” nation.

∙ Manmohan Singh, you are right.
Tumhare hazaron sade hue speeches se achchi hai tumhari total khamoshi.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More on the Delhi anti-rape protests…

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∙ Delhi is now officially a Police State. Section 144. Metro stations shut.
100% tolerance to crime. 0% tolerance to crime protests.

∙ Counter-rape measures: Nothing new really.
Counter-rape protest measures: Heavy police, lathicharge, water cannons, Section 144, RAF, prohibitory orders…

∙ The Congress is a clear case of Stockholm syndrome.
They had been hostage to the British Empire for so long that they have become just like them.

∙ Nargis: I’m Mother India.
Bal Thackeray: I’m Godfather.
Sonia: I’m Godmother India.

∙ Citizen: Ye government badi tedi cheez hai.
Sonia: Teda hai, par mera hai!

∙ Q: What are you doing for the plight of women in the Capital?
Delhi Police: Well, right now we’re beating the daylights out of anyone asking that question.

∙ Policemen assault women protesting against assault of women by men.

∙ Waiting for Manish Tiwari to come and say that people are protesting against Sachin’s ODI retirement and not anything else.

∙ Lead the Pak Army, attack India: Get invited to seminars and interviews by fawning sickos.
Lead the Indian Army, attack rapists: Get booked for inciting violence.

∙ Desh azaad hua, par abhi bhi Nehru-Gandhi dynasty ka ghulam hai.

∙ Strange mathematics….
In 2009, about 12% of India voted directly for the Congress to give it 38% of share in the Lok Sabha to give it effectively 100% dictatorial power till 2014.

∙ The Congress does an Asrani in Sholay 2012: Hum angrezo ke zamaane ke politicians hai, ha ha!

∙ Travelling in and out of Delhi? If the protests won’t get you, then the fog definitely will.

∙ Don’t worry about Putin, Manmohan.
He also puts down crowds with force.
He will look at you like a brother and be proud of you.

∙ Wisdom: Live every day as if it’s your last.
Congress: Rule every term as if it’s your last.

∙ Congress agenda…
Lock the (India) Gate.
Make (Raisina) Hill impossible to climb.
Remove the “Jan” from Jantar Mantar.
Remove the “Dil” from Dilli.
Put “bhaya” (fear) into Bharat to make it Bhayarat.

∙ Mulayam-Maya: We will never let the Communal forces of BJP come to power and hence support the Dictatorial forces of the Congress forever.

∙ Protest Online, get Section 66A!
Protest Offline, get Section 144!
Kaun kambakht kehata hai ki Hitler mar gaya?

∙ Spot the difference…
Then: Rapists’ unarmed assaults against women.
Now: Delhi Police’s armed assaults against women.

∙ Why didn’t the President come out and say Something… Anything to the protestors?
That’s because he was just too busy doing Nothing… as usual.

∙ Manmohan Singh is waiting for more fake PMO Twitter accounts to ban thereby showing he can take tough action to the anti-rape protestors.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru