Tag Archives: congress

Musings on Indian politics…

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• Only in India: A party playing minority politics calls itself secular (Congress), a party with an ultra-Left outlook calls itself anti-Left (TMC), a party that championed reforms is opposing FDI (BJP) and a party which bemoans the caste system uses caste as its sole idenitiy (BSP).

• Sonia: If only I could speak like her. Sushma: If only I had her power.
Rahul: If only I had his personality. Modi: If only I had his destiny.

• Communal BJP is opposing FDI.
Therefore FDI becomes secular.
Hence it should be supported.

• The Congress started the Swadeshi Movement in 1905 and the Videshi Movement in 1991.

• Group A: Best Hindi orator Sushma + Best English orator Jaitley + Popular PM choice Modi + Best CM Nitish.
—Will lose in the elections to—
Group B: Sonia can’t speak for nuts + Rahul can’t think for nuts + Manmohan can’t govern for nuts.
Welcome to India. Barack Obama would lose his deposit here.

• The UPA is a lame duck government, but it still manages to give a solid kick with its good leg.

• When a secular wants to criticize a Muslim, he criticizes a Hindu first to show balance.
When Arvind Kejriwal wants to attack the Congress, he attacks the BJP first to show balance.

• England has the concept of Shadow Prime Minister.
India has the concept of Shadow Allies. (SP & BSP)

• Sholay, FDI remix: SP-BSP apne MPs se kehti hai, bhaag ja warna communalism aa jayega.

• Hamaam main sab nanga. Sirf main kapde pahan ke nahata hu: Arvind Kejriwal.

• Our netas understanding of issues…
Q: FDI kya hai?
SP: BJP.
Q: Nahin, iska matlab kya hai?
SP: Communalism.
Q: Matlab, support kyun nahi kar rahe?
SP: BJP.
Q: Matlab, danger kya hai?
SP: Communalism.
Q: To phir abstain karke pass kyun karwaya?
SP: BJP aur communalism.

• Congress party ke do hai rakshak,
Hamesha bachate hai, bhale hi kare pahale bakbak,
Maya Didi aur Mulayam Chacha, hai koi shak?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

BJP-Congress musings…

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∙ How to successfully handle a scam worth “Lakh Crores”: Congress.
How to hopelessly bungle a scam worth mere lakhs: BJP.

∙ Indian media rules…
When the BJP makes a little mistake, magnify it.
When the Congress makes a big mistake, hide it.
A Dynasty mistake? Go deaf, mute and blind!

∙ Veerappan was caught. So was Prabhakaran. Even Osama. But hell will freeze over much before a Congress leader gets convicted for scams.

∙ Rats win the rat race. Cons win the Congress.

∙ In 1922, Mahatma Gandhi went to jail for his writing in Young India.
In 2012, Swamy wants Rahul Gandhi to go to jail for bad underwriting in Young Indian.

∙ So it’s no longer a Boycott JPC Party.

∙ We gave the Mughals 231 years, the East India Company 101 years and the British Raj 89 years. That way the Congress has ruled India for only 52 years. They need a little more time.

∙ Nitin Gadkari: Swami Vivekananda = +1. Dawood Ibrahim = -1.
Media: 1=1! Vivekananda=Dawood! Pakad liya! Yippee!!!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress down the ages…

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∙ 1885-1947: Indian National Congress.
1947-64: Indian Nehru Congress.
1966-84: Indira National Congress.
1984-Now: Indian Nehru-Gandhi (Dynasty) Congress.

∙ Janata vs Congress…
Pre-1947: Congress vs British “Janata”.
1977-80: Congress vs “Janata” Party.
1989-96: Congress vs “Janata” Dal.
1998-2011: Congress vs Bharatiya “Janata” Party.
2011-Now: Congress vs Indian “Janata”.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress musings…

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∙ Given enough time, Rahul Gandhi will claim the wheel was invented by the Congress while Diggy Raja will claim the dinosaurs were wiped out by the RSS.

∙ We believe in self-reliance: Congress, 1947.
We believe in Reliance: Congress, 2012.

∙ How to Spot who’s making the speech…
Crowds perplexed, can’t understand: Sonia Gandhi.
Crowds sleeping: Manmohan Singh.
Crowds amused, laughing: Rahul Gandhi.

∙ Every time Rahul Gandhi opens his mouth, Congress loses tens of thousands of votes.
That’s why Opposition will hope for polls in 2014 only.

∙ Rahul Gandhi will forever be No. 2.
His autobiography will be called Two Point Someone.

∙ The Gandhi pariwar are very uninteresting people.
Zero interest in everything it seems.

∙ If Rahul Gandhi becomes Prime Minister, then he will be the George W Bush of India, a rare delight for cartoonists, satirists and humour writers.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congressi musings…

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· Congress Silent Trimurti…
Sonia: Doesn’t need to speak.
Rahul: Can’t speak.
Manmohan: Won’t speak.

· Congress FDI = Congress Finally Doing It.

· Going by recent Congress logic, they’ll simply say that a Rs 5 diesel hike will result in Zero Loss for the consumer.

· Thappad maaro to gaal pe Paanch Ungliyo ka nishaan.
Diesel ka Paanch Rupaiya ka thappad desh ke gaal par.
Sahi Congressi chinnh hai.

· Looks like the Congress-BJP Coal-a Wars will continue for quite some time.

· Congress, which was blocking all deliveries till now, has suddenly entered the slog overs.

· Goal achieved: Diesel hits a half-century.
Goal pending: Petrol hits a century.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Post price hike musings…

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· CONGRESS = Corrupt Opportunistic No-Gooders Registering Endless Supersized Scams.

· From now on all Price Hikes should be renamed as UPA Scam Subsidy for that is what they are. We are paying for the sins of this government.

· 6 cylinders a year?
Congress spokespersons should be limited to only 6 stupid statements a day, but even that is asking for the moon.

· UPA = Unlimited Price Augmentation.

· Live Free. Die Hard. Coal Free. Hike (Diesel/LPG) Hard.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru