∙ Given enough time, Rahul Gandhi will claim the wheel was invented by the Congress while Diggy Raja will claim the dinosaurs were wiped out by the RSS.

∙ We believe in self-reliance: Congress, 1947.
We believe in Reliance: Congress, 2012.

∙ How to Spot who’s making the speech…
Crowds perplexed, can’t understand: Sonia Gandhi.
Crowds sleeping: Manmohan Singh.
Crowds amused, laughing: Rahul Gandhi.

∙ Every time Rahul Gandhi opens his mouth, Congress loses tens of thousands of votes.
That’s why Opposition will hope for polls in 2014 only.

∙ Rahul Gandhi will forever be No. 2.
His autobiography will be called Two Point Someone.

∙ The Gandhi pariwar are very uninteresting people.
Zero interest in everything it seems.

∙ If Rahul Gandhi becomes Prime Minister, then he will be the George W Bush of India, a rare delight for cartoonists, satirists and humour writers.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru