What the Congress stood for in 1947…
Consensus.
Optimism.
Nation-building.
Great leaders.
Raj gaya angrezo ka.
Equality.
Secularism.
Socialism.
And in 2013…
Corruption + Crony Capitalism + Communalism.
Opportunism.
Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty.
Generations of decline.
Recession.
Emergency + e-mergency.
Scams.
Scandals.
© Sunil Rajguru
Congratulations! You are the proud recipient of a Bharat Ratna.
Here are the following terms and conditions that come along with it…
1. You cannot endorse Narendra Modi for Prime Minister in absolutely any way. That will severely devalue the Ratna. We may then consider withdrawing it.
2. You now rank seventh in order of precedence: Above CMs and Governors outside their respective States. That means outside Gujarat, you rank above Modi and hence he is beneath you and hence there is no need for you to endorse him in the first place! Plus if you visit Gujarat, then you will become below Modi, so under any circumstances, do not visit Gujarat!
3. You will sever all links (if any) with the Shiv Sena, the MNS, the RSS and any right-wing Fascist forces.
4. You will always be a paragon of secularism and shun anything to do with any form of communalism whatsoever.
5. This decision may be used for political mileage and we may invoke you in our election campaign.
6. We may be voted out in the next general elections and the next government may try to impose new terms and conditions on your Ratna. We hope then you will fondly remember who gave it to you in the first place!
Happy gloating!
Warm regards,
The Grand Old Party of India
This version by Sunil Rajguru
Then: I follow the Mahatma.
Now: I follow the Pappu.
Then: Gareebi Hatao.
Now: Modi Hatao.
Then: Their PM most popular politician in country.
Now: Their PM can’t even win a Lok Sabha election.
Then: Congress President a post occupied by rotation.
Now: Occupied by one person for life.
Then: Jai Jawan Jai Kisan.
Now: Jai Sonia Jai Pappu.
Then: Ho raha hai Bharat azaad.
Now: Ho raha hai Bharat nirmaan. (Still under construction after 66 years)
Then: 197 Lok Sabha seats meant: Sit in the Opposition benches.
Now: 206 Lok Sabha seats means: Yay! We are the dictators of India!
Then: Few scams, few resignations.
Now: Huge amount of scams, a few resignations that are re-instated after some time.
Then: Felt the pressure of the aam admi.
Now: Increase the blood pressure of the aam admi.
Then: Saare jahan se accha Hindustan hamara.
Now: Saare jahan se accha Pappustan hamara.
© Sunil Rajguru
Congressi logic.
All of India’s problems due to…
1947-79: RSS.
1980-2001: BJP.
2002-now: Modi.
Congress, 2010-now.
Diarrhea of scams.
Constipation of convictions.
Poverty is a state of mind.
Bengaluru is a State in Pappu’s mind.
I wonder the state of mind of Pappu’s supporters.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Think it over…
In 2009, almost two-thirds of India did not vote for anyone at all either because they were ineligible or because they simply didn’t want to.
Out of those who voted, a whopping 71% Indians did NOT vote for the Congress.
Despite that the Congress got a near-dictatorial run for 5 years where their arrogance has reached unprecedented levels and virtually nobody has been held accountable for the myriad scams.
In contrast, Hitler’s party in 1933 got 44% votes in an election which saw a turnout of 71% of Germany.
A far greater fraction of Germans wanted Hitler to rule in 1933 than Congress in 2009.
On top of that Manmohan Singh has never ever won a seat in a gram panchayat, council, Assembly or general election in his entire life.
He lost the only Lok Sabha seat he tried for in New Delhi in 1999.
And yet he has been the undisputed Prime Minister of India for close to 10 years!
© Sunil Rajguru
The Congress motto…
We don’t want opinions.
Only minions.
Overheard in the Congress…
Ye survey kya hota hai?
Hum to sirf madam way jaante hai!
Opinion polls?
If they had their way, they’d ban the 2014 Lok Sabha polls!
Inside the party they want umpteen spokespersons.
Outside the party they only want silent persons.
My way or the highway.
+ My way not the survey.
= Opposition party is a Fascist.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru