Tag Archives: BJP

Congress-BJP musings…

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India’s Rainbow Coalition…
No matter what happens, the SP and BSP will save Congress.
No matter what happens, the BJP will pass a Congress Bill.
And these 4 are supposed to be intense enemies in UP?

BJP = B-Team (to the Congress) Janata Party?
Congress has no “political” Opposition.
Most Opposition comes from courts, CAG and social media.

BJP as an Opposition to the Congress viewpoint…
Pahale inkaar, fir pyaar…
#FSB #LandBill #Lokpal #Telangana #RTI #…

Indian TV news sting rules…
BJP in power: Only stings against ruling Government will come to light.
Congress in power: Only stings against Opposition will come to light.

If Pappu fails and the Dynasty collapses, then the Congress and BJP are ripe for a merger.
At times I can’t spot the difference between them.
#BharatiyaJanataCongress

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Eerie similarities…

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BJP Campaign: India Shining.
Congress Campaign: Poverty Shining.
Congress Campaign: Ho Raha Bharat Nirman.
BJP Campaign: Ho Raha Modi Nirman.

Nitish: Yaar this Modi is giving me a splitting headache!
Solution: Split from the BJP.
Result—Modi: Yaar mera headache suddenly chala gaya!

Sonia: This Andhra Pradesh Lok Sabha tally is giving me a splitting headache.
Solution: Split Andhra Pradesh.
Result—India: Bhai mera headache suddenly bad gaya!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The rulers of India…

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· Liberalization Economy Trinity…
Narasimha Rao the Creator.
Vajpayee the Preserver.
Manmohan the Destroyer.

· Spiderman: With great power comes great responsibility.
Sonia: LOL! With absolute power come zero accountability and zero responsibility.
MMS: Power? Woh kya hota hai? Pata nahin? Theek hai!

· The Information Overload in the Modi-Godhra case is absolutely astounding.
So much so that facts have become irrelevant and it’s now just a matter of belief!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Today’s partisan political musings…

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· Presumption of Innocence: The principle that one is considered innocent until proven guilty.
Presumption of Guilt: The principle that Modi is considered guilty until proven innocent.

· In the BJP, they had to coin the term “Namonia”.
In the Congress it already exists and it’s called So”nia”.

· Sir!!! Please be PM! Please be PM! Please be PM! Please be PM!…
‪#‎Pappu‬: Mujhe chhod do mere haal pe, zinda hoon yaar kaafi hai…
‪#‎Lootera‬

· Congress spokespersons’ logo…
Trolling India before the Internet was invented!

· Spokesperson’s XI…
Mani, Diggy, Tiwari, Jha, Renuka, Singhvi, Sibal, Tehseen, Khurshid, Nirupam, Narayanaswamy.
Congress all down before 2014 polls!

· Why does the Congress disbelieve that the BJP has so much support?
Today even if RJD was the main Opposition, there’d be a massive “Laloo for PM” lobby, so spectacularly has the UPA tanked.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

NDA communalism musings…

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·...yaha se pachaas pachaas kos door gaon main jab secularist/civil society/Congressi bachcha raat ko rota hai to maa kahati hai beta soja ..soja nahi to Modi pradhan mantri ban jaayega…

· Finally media, Congress, JD(U) have formed a pro-BJP outfit: RSPCA.
(Royal Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Advani)

· The Bihar BJP-JD(U) marriage is like a husband and wife getting perfectly along but divorcing due to father-in-law problems.

· Bihar BJP’s new war cry…
Modi for CM! Modi for PM!

· Dear Nitish Kumar,
You have successfully uninstalled Communalism and installed Secularism on your Political Computer.
Don’t be under the illusion that your computer won’t totally crash or at least keep hanging from now on.

· Na rahega BJP ka baas to nahin bajegi NDA ki basoori.
Arthath: For BJP, currently self-preservation is more important than coalition.

· How?
Modi = Communal, Genocidal, Dictatorial.
Hence Anti-Modi = Secular, Humane, Democratic.
Congress = Communal, Genocidal, Dictatorial.
Hence pro-Congress = Secular, Humane, Democratic.

· Journo 1: My favourite dish is Banana Split. What about yours?
Journo 2: NDA Split!

· BJP was touchable till 2004.
Now its untouchable.
2014: If it gets 40 more seats than Cong, then politically it’ll become highly touchable.

· NDA to sasura 2004 main hi mar gaya tha.
Log abhi kyun maatam mana rahe hai?
2014 ki picture baaki kya, shuru bhi nahin hui hai!

· Somewhere in the world, they are trying to revive the extinct mammoth.
In Bihar, BJP-JD(U) are desperately trying to revive an extinct Laloo.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on Indian politics…

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• Only in India: A party playing minority politics calls itself secular (Congress), a party with an ultra-Left outlook calls itself anti-Left (TMC), a party that championed reforms is opposing FDI (BJP) and a party which bemoans the caste system uses caste as its sole idenitiy (BSP).

• Sonia: If only I could speak like her. Sushma: If only I had her power.
Rahul: If only I had his personality. Modi: If only I had his destiny.

• Communal BJP is opposing FDI.
Therefore FDI becomes secular.
Hence it should be supported.

• The Congress started the Swadeshi Movement in 1905 and the Videshi Movement in 1991.

• Group A: Best Hindi orator Sushma + Best English orator Jaitley + Popular PM choice Modi + Best CM Nitish.
—Will lose in the elections to—
Group B: Sonia can’t speak for nuts + Rahul can’t think for nuts + Manmohan can’t govern for nuts.
Welcome to India. Barack Obama would lose his deposit here.

• The UPA is a lame duck government, but it still manages to give a solid kick with its good leg.

• When a secular wants to criticize a Muslim, he criticizes a Hindu first to show balance.
When Arvind Kejriwal wants to attack the Congress, he attacks the BJP first to show balance.

• England has the concept of Shadow Prime Minister.
India has the concept of Shadow Allies. (SP & BSP)

• Sholay, FDI remix: SP-BSP apne MPs se kehti hai, bhaag ja warna communalism aa jayega.

• Hamaam main sab nanga. Sirf main kapde pahan ke nahata hu: Arvind Kejriwal.

• Our netas understanding of issues…
Q: FDI kya hai?
SP: BJP.
Q: Nahin, iska matlab kya hai?
SP: Communalism.
Q: Matlab, support kyun nahi kar rahe?
SP: BJP.
Q: Matlab, danger kya hai?
SP: Communalism.
Q: To phir abstain karke pass kyun karwaya?
SP: BJP aur communalism.

• Congress party ke do hai rakshak,
Hamesha bachate hai, bhale hi kare pahale bakbak,
Maya Didi aur Mulayam Chacha, hai koi shak?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru