Tag Archives: #2014Polls

Handbook for fighting 2014 general elections…

Posted on by
2

Want to be seen as secular?
—Attack Modi!

Nurture Prime Ministerial ambitions?
—Attack Modi!

Have zero development stories to boast of?
—Attack Modi!

Opinion polls show your party’s slipping?
—Attack Modi!

Want to please your party’s supreme leader?
—Attack Modi!

Told that there’s a Modi wave in the country?
—Attack Modi!

Tainted with a riot?
—Attack Modi!

Want to save democracy?
—Attack Modi!

Tainted with a scam?
—Attack Modi!

Want to take on crony capitalism?
—Attack Modi!

Part-time politician coming out of the woodworks?
—Attack Modi!

Hear that someone else has attacked Modi?
—Attack Modi!

Modi attacks you?
—Attack Modi!

Don’t know what to say?
—Attack Modi!

Holding a rally?
—Attack Modi!

You are Modi?
—Well the only thing left to do is to attack everyone else!

© Sunil Rajguru

Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty musings…

Posted on by
1

Give me 60 months and I’ll change India: Narendra Modi.
Give me 1 month’s limelight every 60 months and I’ll change India: Priyanka Vadra.

1966: Indira desh bachayegi.
1977: Sanjay desh bachayega.
1984: Rajiv desh bachayega.
2004: Sonia desh bachayegi.
2009: Pappu desh bachayega.
2014: Pappini desh bachayegi.
Desh: Arre koi to mujhe Nehru-Gandhi dynasty se bachao!!!

Total days spent by Sonia+Pappu+Pappini as PM/CM/Minister = Zero.
Number of really tough questions asked of them till date = Zero.
Amount looted in scams committed in last 10 years = 1ZeroZeroZeroZeroZeroZeroZero…

1999: Will Priyanka contest polls?
2004: Will she contest?
2009: Will she contest?
2014: Will she contest?
2019…
2024…
#MrsVadra

Mera dynasty parameshwar: Congress man.
Mera pati paramaeshwar: Priyanka Vadra.
Hai na Vadra mahaan!

Waise “Pappu Model” kya hai?
Aur “Vadra Model” kya hai?
(Both Robert and Priyanka versions)
#GujaratModel

Congress: We have a larger role for Priyanka!
Q: How?
Congress: In 2009 elections she spent a total 10 hours campaigning. This time she’ll do 15 hours!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

2014 general election musings…

Posted on by
Reply

Give me some sunshine,
Give voters less brain,
Give me another chance,
I want to loot India once again.
#UPA3

Sonia on May 16…
Accha baba maine maan li haar,
Abki baar Modi sarkaar.

Modi has decided to Face The Nation by giving interviews Left, Right and Centre and is gracing (nearly) everyone’s Newshour.

Every deleted voter also counts.
For the party he or she would have voted against.

3 rights…
1. Right to vote.
2. Right not to vote.
3. Right to prevent you from voting.
#MissingVoters #VoterLists

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

NaMo NaMo musings…

Posted on by
Reply

“12 years a slave” to absolute hatred against Modi.
2002-14.

The Modi haters’ slogan…
Doodh maango to kheer denge,
Modi ko support karo to cheer denge.

Believer: Beware! The Day of Judgment is near!
Modi Hater: Yeah, May 16!

1998: I’m backing Vajpayee to keep Advani out.
2013: I’m backing Advani to keep Modi out.
2014: I’m…
Chhodo, chalo, jaane de yaar,
Abki baar Modi sarkaar.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

2014 general election musings…

Posted on by
Reply

The 2014 election campaign slogan seems to be…
Abki baar FIR hi FIR.

Take bribes from all, vote for us: Kejriwal.
Critics might edit it to…
Take bribes from all: Kejriwal.

Right now the BJP’s favourite book appears to be Arindam Chaudhuri’s
Count Your Chickens Before They Hatch.

Modi-Pappu-Kejri has been most high-profile campaign in decades.
And still so many people didn’t vote!

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust,
If Modi you can’t get, then Raj Thackeray you must.
#TVInterviews

On-Online.
Off-Offline.
#BangaloreVoting

If there was online voting, then Bangalore would register 100% turnout.
(But then, UP and Bihar might register 110%)

Congress arguments…
1947: Nehru bola.
1971: Rajib bola.
1989: Rajiv bola.
2014: Atal bola, Jaswant bola, Advani bola, Uma boli…

What if you like one party, like the MP of another party and like the PM candidate of a third party?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The reality of the Modi-Pappu-Kejri media coverage through a PJ…

Posted on by
2

In an exam paper, Modi got 80/100 and Kejri got 0/100.
Kejri screamed, “Modi failed to get 100 by 20 marks!” a few dozen times.
Media reported: Modi failed by 20 marks.

Pappu couldn’t even give the paper.
Sonia said, “Had he given the paper, he would have got 100/100.”
Media reported: Pappu narrowly misses getting 100/100.

Final headline…
Pappu best candidate. Kejriwal best challenger to Modi.

(And that’s how we are comparing a man with Zero days experience as Chief Minister with a man with 49 days experience as Chief Minister with a man who has 4500+ days experience as Chief Minister)

© Sunil Rajguru