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US to open coal plans and build oil pipelines.
India to double coal production by 2022.
China to guzzle energy exponentially.
Climate talks will rage on simultaneously.

(July 18)

The Congress is no longer the Opposition or even a political party.
It is basically just doing time pass.
That’s Pappu’s deep philosophy.

(July 17)

Result of extreme mobile data competition in India…
Cheap data deta hai to de, warna kat le.

NIA under UPA tried to frame RSS chief.
Big deal.
Everyone knows that for media, one Modi allegation trumps a 100 Sonia sins.

(July 15)

Marxism.
19th Century: Great hope for the poor.
20th Century: Hijacked by the psychopaths.
21st Century: Ideology of the elite.

Strange Communist contradiction.
First the Proletariat were the Marxists.
Now the Bourgeoisie are the Marxists.

(July 14)

Iraq liberated from the British!
Iraq liberated from King Faisal!
Iraq liberated from Saddam!
Iraq liberated from Islamic State!
So, when’s the next liberation?

(July 11)

Hindu kills Hindu = Murder.
Hindu kills Muslim = Murder.
Muslim kills Hindu = Murder.
Muslim kills Muslim = Murder.
But tragically for #AdarshLiberals only top two are valid.

(July 10)

The Congress gave us Communism, communalism, corruption and dynasty.
They just called themselves socialist, secular, pro-poor and meritorious.

In a parallel universe, Jyoti (Basu) gave light to West Bengal, Buddhadeb gave enlightenment and Mamata gave a tender mother’s love.

Partition of Bengal took place in 1905.
Partition of West Bengal may take place any time soon.

From 1947-2014 law and order was a State issue.
From 2014 onward it miraculously became a Central issue.

Modi haters: Modi is responsible for everything.
2019 voters: OK, since you guys are irresponsible and he’s responsible for all, we’ll vote for him.

Rahul Gandhi will lead the national Mahagatbandhan in 2019.
It will be called the Pappumahagadbad.

Mamata disproves the Peter Principle.
She’s not fit to even run a small government department.
Yet she is many levels higher, running a State.

Does every leader who goes to China visit Tibet-Taiwan?
Does every leader who goes to Pakistan visit Baluchistan-PoK?
So why the compulsory Palestine visit with Israel?

Mamata has been ruining West Bengal for 6 straight years.
The only difference now is she’s getting greater media scrutiny.

(July 9)

Communism can easily destroy the greatest of cultures.
China.
Russia.
West Bengal.

Difficult to believe that when we got Independence, West Bengal was a top state in terms of economy, industry, culture and many other parameters.

Keep discussing.
Palestine.
Kashmir.
Don’t discuss.
Tibet.
Taiwan.
Baluchistan.
PoK.
Kurdistan.
Northern Ireland.
#DoubleStandards

(July 8)

Pakistan Army. Lost every war with India.
Reward: Rule the country.
Indian Army. Won every war with Pakistan.
Reward: Get vilified and abused non-stop by our powerful lobbies.

Cameron: I know you don’t want a Brexit, but let’s have a poll anyway.
Result: Brexit. Cameron out.
May: I know you want the Tories very much, but let’s have a poll anyway.
Result: Both Tories and May much weaker.
Moral of the story…
Stop taking the electorate for granted and just do your work instead of procrastinating!

The proletariat shall overthrow the bourgeoisie.
—Marx.
What is the bourgeoisie?
#AdarshLiberal—Modi!
US Liberal—Trump!
UK Liberal—May!

God save West Bengal.
Congress = Was really bad.
Followed by…
CPM = Was much worse.
Followed by…
Trinamool = The absolute pits.

(July 7)

Riots in West Bengal. Free pass.
Riots in Akhilesh’s UP. Free pass.
Jungle Raj in Bihar. Free pass.
Other isolated incidents: Modi’s India!

(July 6)

New vocabulary…
Modi flower.
Modi jacket.
Modi wave.
Modi haters.
Modi industry.
Modigiri.
Moditva.
Modi Derangement Syndrome.

(July 5)

Narasimha Rao charted a new path with Liberalization and a changed foreign policy.
Vajpayee walked the same path.
Modi is running on it.

Modi has already become the most hugged head of state in the world.

Obama’s time bombs for Trump…
Iran.
Syria.
North Korea.
Comey (now Mueller).
Millions of dollars of funding to Left-wing groups.

(July 4)

2008: Barack Obama, Patron Saint of the Left.
2016: Donald Trump, Patron Saint of the Right.
The universe always brings balance.

1917 Communist Revolution led to tens of millions of deaths.
1949 Communist Revolution led to tens of millions of deaths.
But they’re still seeking another Communist Revolution.

The Nazi tyranny began in 1933 and ended in 1945.
The Communist tyranny began in 1848, peaked in 1917 and 1949, but continues to this present day.

Forget Freedom of Speech, the Left will even try to stop the livelihood of anyone who disagrees with them.

Big country attacks little country: Good for trade.
Big country attacks big country: Bad for trade.
World War 3 will require extreme provocation in today’s day and age.

(July 3)

#GST
#DeMo
#Yogi
#Israel
#AntiNaxalism
#SurgicalStrike
#TakingOnLutyensDelhi
#ChinaBorderBelligerence
Modi is a master of disruption.

(July 1)

Post-2013, Modi won every election he had a chance in except Bihar and Delhi.
Today Nitish wants to join Modi and Kejri wants to sink into the ground.

(June 30)

Secularism: The principle of separation of the state from religious institutions.
Indian secularism: The principle of separation of Hinduism from India.

Communism has spectacularly failed.
But Communists are still spectacularly succeeding.

#Intolerance
#AwardWapsi
#ChurchesUnderAttack
#Lynchistan
#Dadri
They are bent on giving Modi 400 seats in 2019.

(June 29)

In a parallel universe, US President Hillary has imprisoned Trump and declared World War 3 with the blessings of UN chief Obama.

(June 28)

In 1949 in the film Mahal, the age difference between the hero Ashok Kumar and heroine Madhu Bala was 21 years.
That glorious tradition is being kept alive today by the 3 Khans.

(June 24)

Kumble.
Ace spinner.
Match winner.
Test centurion.
Captain.
Administrator.
Head coach.
What next?

Karunanidhi scriptwriter.
MG Ramachandran actor.
VN Janaki actress.
Jayalalithaa actress.
Rajinikanth next?
#TamilNaduChiefMinister

Whoever wins Karnataka, loses the Centre.
Amit Shah—Yeddy ko daalo.
Kabhi kabhi jeetne ke liye kucch haarna bhi padta hai… aur haar kar jeetne waale ko baazigar kehte hai.

If the Democrats hate Trump, then they’ll hate hardliner “President Pence” even more.
This impeachment drama is a lose-lose game for them.

(June 23)

28 years after Tiananmen Square, no democracy in China.
6 years after Tahrir Square, no democracy in Egypt.
6 years after Jantar Mantar, no Lokpal in India.

Obama took over in 2009 and the Democrats have been losing non-stop since 2010.
Tremendous personal charisma saved him, his non-performance couldn’t save the Democrats.

(June 22)

“Sources” moved from sources to hearsay to rumours to outright lies.
Now “According to sources” = “According to a lying me”.

(June 20)

If Modi feels like bursting into a speech while on the Kochi Metro, it would be…
Mitron in a Metro.

The Left.
Mass killing of minds since 1848.
Mass killing of lives since 1917.

The Left is celebrating its centenary this year in 2017.
A 100 years of mass killings beginning with the Russian Revolution in 1917.

(June 17)

Black ink not good for environment.
Green ink not good for environment.
White light requires electricity.
Green light requires electricity.
#WorldEnvironmentDaySymbolism

Tens of thousands of terrorists with ISIS.
Tens of thousands of terrorists with Pakistan.
Hundreds of thousands of victims of terrorism since 9/11.
World still in denial.

(June 5)

It’s become fashionable for liberals to condemn those who condemn terrorism.

If you boycott Pak in tournaments—what happens if you meet in a WC final?
Hand them the World Cup on a platter?
Bilateral boycott is enough.

(June 4)

Bollywood, 1958…
Jungle main mor naacha kisi ne na dekha.
Judiciary, 2017…
Jungle main mor ne sex kiya, kisi ne na dekha.

(June 2)

Celebrities and leaders who are alarmist over Climate Change due to fossil fuels are paradoxically the biggest guzzlers of fossil fuels themselves.

(June 1)

100% electrification.
100% LPG gas in households.
100% mobile penetration.
Finally a realistic target for India.

(May 31)

Small is beautiful and it just doesn’t stop…
1. Mobile explosion.
2. Smartphone explosion.
3. Mobile data explosion.

(May 30)

One Indian is anti-India and another is anti-Pakistan.
Media will call the former a rabid nationalist and the latter a peace-loving liberal.

(May 29)

America is yet to forgive Iran for the Iranian Revolution of 1979.

(May 23)

India once made films like Ardh Satya.
Now it makes films like Ardh Saheli.

(May 19)

In India initial arrest to final Supreme Court conviction can easily take 20+ years.
That way most of the high-profile corrupt still walking free.

(May 17)

With the way it’s going, 2019 will be a one-horse race for the Prime Ministership.
#AdarshLiberals and Opposition have only themselves to blame.

(May 16)

British Empire collapsed in 1945.
Russian Empire collapsed in 1991.
European Empire collapsing in 2017.

(May 15)

Many parties go rotten with time.
However, AAP was the greatest debut collection of rotten apples in the history of Indian politics.

(May 13)

In the end they will kill and fill Bellandur Lake and build on it.
That’s the lake curse of Bangalore.

(May 12)

Karl Marx was born today.
His ideology left Death and Destruction wherever it went.
Yet he is loved by intellectuals, academics, liberals…

(May 5)

If all newspapers shut down overnight, a good chunk of the world’s population wouldn’t even notice.

Social Media is 100 times more powerful than Mainstream Media.
But the Establishment is propping up MSM with megabucks because it can manipulate it at will.

Thousands have died in Indo-Pak wars.
Thousands have died in Kashmir terrorism.
Thousands have died in Naxalism-Maoism etc.
Not dozens or hundreds, but cumulatively tens of thousands if you add all of the above. Millions have been scarred.
Modi has been at the helm for 3+ years.
So I guess there’s no excuse not to go all out at this stage.

(May 3)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

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Bhajji a Test batsman. Yuvi an ODI bowler. Gambhir India’s most successful (ODI win-loss ratio) captain. Aussies are rubbish on home soil. Lanka can’t beat Windies in their own backyard. Next is what? But I’m loving the change! (Only Pak cricket consistently continues to be in the doldrums)(December 11)WikiPakiFakeeeLeakeee…After going south in the 1st Test, Aussies refuse to go with North in the 2nd, look to Beer in desperation along with Hughes expectations…Who’s line is it anyway? Celebrities simply RT on Twitter and media passes it off as an original quote! 6:13 PM Dec 9th via Ping.fm(December 9)

3 thoughts on “Statuses

  1. Dear Mr. Rajguru,

    I live in U.K. An English friend of mine is having a very rough time in Banglore. I would like to
    write her story to you. I am wondering if you would like to inform me your e-mail address.

  2. Dear Raj Guruji, i want reread your opinion ,what india should learn from japan. Please state the month i should look into, from your writings.

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