<1953>. JRD says Tata to Air India.
East-West goes South.
ModiLuft fails to Lift.
Passengers enter Jet age.
Sahara “Lite”ns up.
Paramount Amounts to Naught.
Kingfisher-Air Deccan go Red.
SpiceJet still has Spice…
GoAir & Indigo: How far will you Go?
Hawa (Air) main abhi bhi Bharat (India). <2011>
© Sunil Rajguru
SR: Vijaysahab, main Sahara dene ke liye tayar hu, Maal leke jaana!
VM: Jai Sahara!
SR: Lucknow aa rahe ho, par JetLite se katai nahin aana.
VM: Main Red main aa raha hu!
SR (apne aap se): Dhakkan!
VM: To Kingfisher bach gaya!
SR: Arre main to Racing waala Formula ki baat kar raha tha, Flying ka nahin!
VM: Kya??? Sab Maya hai… Ab main is udan khatola sena ka kya karunga…
(News Source: But we already flashed that Sahara is bailing them out…
Reply: Move on yaar, who really cares anyway!)
This version by Sunil Rajguru
Corruption had reached its peak in 1998. Then it hit a new low in 2004.
Now the heights of 1998 have been surpassed in 2011.
I simply have to educate the poor ignorant masses of India against the evils of the Congress Empire…
Time for Yatra No. 6!
Let me personally call it “Yatra to the PM’s chair”, but publicly call it Jan Chetna Yatra instead!
(If it doesn’t succeed then I still have 3-4 more Yatras in me before I’m done!)
1: Yatra kicks off. BJP workers give cash to journalists : Fight corruption with corruption!
2: Reach Karnataka, the glorious land of land scams, BS Yedurappa, Reddy Brothers and “overmining” Bellary. (But Deve Gowda and Co. are far more corrupt)
3: Reach Daman and share stage with a criminal. (What’s all the fuss? Aren’t all politicians criminals at one level? Anyway, I am only focusing on “exposed political corruption directly related to black money”. Get it?)
4: Reach Ahmedabad and share dais with Narendra Modi. Now I wonder why I feel uncomfortable with him. Let me Praise Nitish Kumar instead!
5: Someone was planning to attack me in one place and a pipe bomb was found in another. That shows that I am on the right track. The corrupt of the land are nervous!
6: Sudheendra Kulkarni, accused in the cash-for-votes scandal, gets bail! I invite him to join the Yatra. He is not corrupt, but a poor victim of corruption. Many people gave been “stung” by him!
7: Why are people throwing eggs, showing black flags and protesting? Forget it. They are in a “minority”. (But the only problem is that they may be keeping the “majority” away and hence the sparse crowds at certain places!)
8: Uttarakhand! The corruption-free air smells so fresh here! We told Ramesh Pokhriyal to step down from the CM’s chair over corruption charges! Why don’t all the Congress ministers follow his example?
9: Me White Money only. Me no Black Money. Me Indian Bank only. Me no Swiss Bank!
(Wah! Kya Pledge hai! (Pat on the back))
10: What? The Yatra has ended? I can’t believe how fast time flies!
(I can’t wait for the next one!)
11: 40-odd days of non-stop media coverage! And you thought nobody would notice!
P.S. Can someone please tell me when the mid-term general elections are taking place?
© Sunil Rajguru
My morning paper comes late.
So I don’t read today’s paper and save it for tomorrow early morning.
I’ve been doing it for months now and haven’t noticed any difference…
∙ It is said that the Yomiuri Shimbun of Japan has a circulation of 14 million, the highest in the world.
But doesn’t the Facebook News Feed have a readership of 800 million?
∙ The future of the newspaper will depend on the time spent by mankind to conclude it’s bowel movement early in the morning.
∙ Isn’t it time to change the name of Newspaper to Oldpaper?
∙ If a newspaper ever runs a campaign to increase Internet literacy, it is in effect running a campaign to kill itself in the long run.
∙ The Obituary of the Newspaper will one day come on the Internet.
© Sunil Rajguru
Obama to Asia: US is here to stay, there’s nothing you can do about it!
Asia to Obama: Damn! We thought that continental drift was still taking place and the US was drifting apart from us!
Kambli to India: The 1996 India-Sri Lanka semi-final World Cup match was fixed!
India to Kambli: Hoto pe aisi baat tu daba ke chala aaya pandrah saal ke liye!
Mallya to Investors: Less lucrative routes! Aviation fuel hikes! Economy!
Investors to Mallya: IPL! F1!
CBI to SC: DMK! NDA! CAG! RIL! DoT!
SC to CBI: INC! INC! INC! INC!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
America-Pakistan: It’s Complicated.
(Where US=Husband)
India-Pakistan: Divorced in 1947, still awaiting final settlement.
America-China: It’s Complicated.
(Where US=Wife)
Russia-America: It’s so funny how we don’t talk any more.
Brazil-Argentina: Relationship? Depends whether it’s on the football field or off it!
Afghanistan-Pakistan: Separated at birth, hyphenated in the 2000s.
(Af-Pak)
India-China: Married. (To the concept of being the next Superpower)
Israel-Palestine: Separated at birth, united in conflict.
South Korea-North Korea: Brothers. (In Arms)
England-France: Neighbours. (Thank God for the Channel!)
China-Taiwan-Tibet: What relationship? We are One. (Or so says every schizophrenic)
© Sunil Rajguru