· CONGRESS = Corrupt Opportunistic No-Gooders Registering Endless Supersized Scams.
· From now on all Price Hikes should be renamed as UPA Scam Subsidy for that is what they are. We are paying for the sins of this government.
· 6 cylinders a year?
Congress spokespersons should be limited to only 6 stupid statements a day, but even that is asking for the moon.
· UPA = Unlimited Price Augmentation.
· Live Free. Die Hard. Coal Free. Hike (Diesel/LPG) Hard.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Number of people controlling India’s destiny: 1 (Sonia Gandhi)
Number of years the UPA is going to loot the nation: 10
IQ of Rahul Gandhi: 100
Number of scams unearthed during UPA rule: 1,000
Number of tall claims made by Diggy Raja: 10,000
Number of nonsensical statements made by Congress spokespersons: 100,000
Number of times Meira Kumar has said Baith jaaiye in Parliament: 1,000,000
Numbers of Tweeple, Facebookers and Bloggers against the UPA: 10,000,000
Estimated number of corrupt people in India in excess of: 100,000,000
Number of people suffering under the UPA regime in excess of: 1000,000,000
Numbers of Tweets, status messages and verbal curses against the UPA: 10,000,000,000
Net worth of Indian billionaires in excess of: 100,000,000,000
Size of an average value mega scam nowadays: 1,000,000,000,000
Net worth of all scams combined in excess of: 10,000,000,000,000
Congress target for future scams: 100,000,000,000,000
© Sunil Rajguru
· Loot Rs 1.86 lakh crore=Legal+Patriotic+Don’t even criticize+No jail.
Draw a cartoon on the above=Illegal+Treacherous+Strongly condemnable+Get jailed!
· Be careful what you put on your Facebook/Twitter accounts: Obama.
Be careful if you have Facebook/Twitter accounts in the first place: Manmohan.
· Gold Medal: People are sovereign.
Silver Medal: Constitution is supreme.
Bronze Medal: Parliament.
Congress will get the message in 2014 or before.
· UPA2 has seen great growth (of scams), great stability (to scamsters), united India (against it), and now will meet all future expectations (as none are left).
· If you look at all the nonsense Diggy Raja talks, then he could have his own 24X7 channel.
If you look at the sense he talks, then there’s infinite silence.
· I am living the American Dream: Obama.
I am living the Indian Nightmare: Manmohan.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
· Let a 100 flowers bloom: Mao.
Let a 100 scams boom: Manmohan.
· Haath jodte hue aate hai Congressi sab,
Thappad maarte hue woh to jaayenge,
Aur hum voters Muqaddar ke Bandar jaaneman kehalayenge.
· Pachaas kos door shahar me jab Congressi ke ghar main bachcha raat ko rota hai to maa kahati hai beta so jaa… so jaa nahi to CAG aa jaayega.
· Agar MMS sach bolta…
Kya tum doodh se dhule hue ho?
Nahin, main koyala se ragada hua hu.
· Teacher: Give an example of an uncountable noun.
Student: UPAScam.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in Cyberspace, we shall fight with the national and global media, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in censorship, we shall defend our arrogance, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight with Time magazine, we shall fight with the Washington Post, we shall fight with Facebook and with Twitter, we shall fight all the blogs; we shall never surrender…
—Manmohan Singh, for UPA2.
We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender…
—Winston Churchill, for World War 2.
Spoof by Sunil Rajguru
SC/ST vote: Quota in promotions.
Minority vote: Attack BJP and RSS with greater effort.
Rural vote: NREGA and attempted Food Bill.
Poverty class vote: Mobiles for BPLs.
Women vote: Sonia’s charisma is enough.
Youth vote: Rahul Gandhi hain na!
Elderly vote: They are totally used to Congress by now.
Rest of the voters: You have been effectively reduced to a minority and can well take a hike!
UPA3 Coming Soon!
© Sunil Rajguru