Durga Shakti Nagpal musings…

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The whole nation rallied behind…
…Anna: Lokpal not cleared.
…Khemka: Zilch.
…Durga: Chargesheeted.
1 Politician <Greater than> 1 Million Protestors.

Statement: Durga, we are all with you.
What you think it means: We are fighting with you.
What it actually means: We are suffering with you.

MMS on Durga case…
“The rules have been laid down and the rules will be followed.”
Wow! That applies to each and every event in the country from 1947 to now!
What a sweeping statement!

Sonia writes letter to MMS.
Why, are they pen friends?

The last famous Shakti (Kapoor) was a Bollywood villain.
The next famous (Durga) Shakti (Nagpal) is also being treated as a villain by our politicians.

Durga… 1. Suspended. 2. Chargesheeted.
Two wrongs don’t make a right.
But two wrongs sure up the fight.

Akhilesh: We have built castles in UP.
Comment: But you have built castles in the sand (mafia land).

Why did you send a letter to MMS?
Sonia: I can’t tell whether he’s nodding his head or not on the phone.
Reliance: What you need is a videophone. Kar lo duniya apni mutthi main!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

UPA-Manmohan Singh musings…

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Funny isn’t it how the Congress with 27% Lok Sabha seats (2004-09) and 38% seats (2009-13) + 29% Rajya Sabha seats has got its way in almost everything?

In 2006, Jason Gillespie was sent as a night watchman in a Test match.
He scored a double century.
In 2004, the Congress sent a night watchman to head the government.
He is still batting!

44 bills off 16 days.
If BJP helps clear them: Match-fixing!
If BJP doesn’t: Negative bowling! Not in the right spirit!

Spot the difference.
44 runs off 16 balls…
Dhoni: Theek hai.
44 bills off 16 days…
MMS: Theek hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How the Congress and SP keep checkmating each other…

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Congress: Durga. SP: Khemka.

Congress: Durga. SP: No Food Bill.

Congress: Durga. SP: All IAS officers can leave UP.

SP: Sonia no PM. Congress: SP no Government.

SP: We’ll withdraw support. Congress: We’ll call CBI.

Congress: Secular. SP: Secular.

Congress: Rahul. SP: Akhilesh.

Congress: UPA3. SP: Third Front.

And as usual, India always loses.

© Sunil Rajguru

The best of the entire dynasty…

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Motilal: Nobody would have guessed that I would one day be associated with a powerful dynasty!
Sonia: Same here!

Nehru: I did states reorganisation.
Sonia: I’m starting it too.

Indira: I imposed Emergency.
Sonia: I tried it in Cyberspace.

Sanjay: I didn’t occupy the PM’s chair, but still was all-powerful.
Sonia: Ditto!

Rajiv: I got a solid mandate in 1984 and halved it 1989.
Sonia: I got a solid mandate in 2009 and just about may halve it in 2014 too!

© Sunil Rajguru

The Indian politician’s oath…

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Your own ease, comfort and safety come first, always and every time.
The honour, welfare and comfort of the partymen come next.
The safety, honour and welfare of your country come last, always and every time.
(With due apologies to glorious cadets of the IMA and Field Marshal Philip Chetwode)

Totally misquoting the original by US business house…
Rule 1: The politician is always right.
Rule 2: If the politician is ever wrong, re-read Rule 1.

Totally misquoting the original by US consultancy firm…
When the politician comes first, the politician will last.

Totally misquoting the original by Gandhi…
The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of yourself.
That service is the noblest which is rendered for one’s own sake.

Totally misquoting the original by Tagore…
I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I looted and behold, service became joy.

Totally misquoting the original by Einstein…
Only a life lived in the service one’s self is worth living.

Totally misquoting the original by Woodrown Wilson…
You are not here merely to make a living. You are here to enrich yourself, and to impoverish the country in the process.

Totally misquoting the original by Mother Teresa…
If you can’t feed a hundred Indian citizens, then just feed yourself.

Totally misquoting the original by Fred Rogers…
Life is for self-service.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru