Twitter-Facebook musings…

· They would like us to believe…
Online anonymous Modi trolls are more dangerous than the alarmingly increasing number offline politicians spewing venom.

· What Facebook says: What’s on your mind?
What Facebook is really saying: So what can you post that will get maximum number likes and comments and engage maximum number of users so that everyone can waste as much time as possible, a scenario that will greatly benefit me?

· If you don’t like their Tweets, unfollow.
If they abuse you, block.
If someone blocks you, good riddance.
Mera Tweet teda hai, par mera hai.

· Wrong analysis: There so much hate on Twitter.
Right analysis: There is so much hate in society and some of it has spilled into Twitter.

· If you follow a 1000 interesting people with Zero followers, you’ll have an extremely rich Twitter feed.
However, some computer algorithm would dismiss you as a fake.

· Cyberspace…
One person’s opinion may be another person’s abuse.
One cause’s crusader may be another cause’s troll.

· If you are fighting any cause noble or ignoble, the trolls will come only from the other side na?
When you pick your side, you pick your trolls too.

· BJP Online: 99% genuine supporters. 1% fake.
Congress online: 1% genuine supporters. 99% fake.
But why 99% focus on BJP’s 1%?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The online reality…

· Evolution…
Stage 1: Armchair critic.
Stage 2: Couch Potato.
Stage 3: Computer chair activist/commentator/critic/philosopher.

· Twitter—The only medium in the world where it’s theoretically possible for there to be one million followers and one million leaders in a single group of one million people.

· There must be trillions of Likes floating in Facebook right now and yet you concentrate on all the hate in social networking?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Cyberspace musings…

· They should call Facebook the Zuckerburger.
Like all burgers it is full of fat (lies), zero nutrition (for the brain), fills your (mind’s) stomach and leaves no place for any other thing of value and is basically time pass.

· First: Thank God!
Then: Thank God it’s Friday.
Now: Thank God for Zuckerberg!

· IRCTC to enter the Online Shopping space.
They’ll probably specialize in Window Shopping.

· Status Updates may show just 1% of a User’s personality, but sometimes they appear to be 100%.

· Curious…
The Empress of India has a packed court of jesters whose sole purpose seems to be to entertain Twitter and Facebook.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Offline and online…

Yesterday: “Wit” is my middle name.
Today: “Tweet” is my middle name.

Yesterday: She has a great profile.
Today: She has a great Facebook profile.

Yesterday: Do you have connections?
Today: Do you have LinkedIn connections?

Yesterday: How do I look?
Today: How does my homepage look?

Yesterday: Why weren’t you there?
Today: Why aren’t you on Four Square?

Yesterday: I tried my best to talk to him, what more do you want me to do?
Today: I called, SMSed, poked, Tweeted, tagged… what more do you want me to do?

Yesterday: Get a life!
Today: Get a virtual life!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Nowadays…

I’ve got a thought…
…but will it make a good Facebook status message?

I’ve got an idea…
…but will it be accepted on Twitter?

I have a strong viewpoint on…
…why don’t you blog it and I’ll read it!

This photo is really great and natural…
…but have you photoshopped it yet?

I support this great cause…
…but how many likes has it got?

I’ve got a great resume…
…but can you sell it on Linkedin?

I’ve got a great business idea…
…but will it create a buzz online?

I’ve got a great friend…
…but I’ve not seen him on Facebook!

I usually don’t know where I am…
…why? Don’t you use FourSquare?

Where am I going?
Just check your GPS!

I am dying…
…even that will get a few hundred likes on Facebook!

© Sunil Rajguru

If the Congress controlled the Internet…

· They would reserve 50% of all websites in cyberspace for SC/ST/OBC.

· They would allow online voting in the Lok Sabha elections. Booth capturing and rigging could be done seamlessly.

· During protests like the anti-corruption and anti-rape ones, they would simply shut the Internet down.

· Every website would have a compulsory pop up ad praising the Dynasty.

· They would rename it as anti-social media and anti-social networking.

· Critics would then call it the Misinformation Superhighway.

· They would claim that Nehru invented the telephone, Indira the computer and Rajiv the Internet.

© Sunil Rajguru