Category Archives: Miscellaneous

Indian word meanings and their usage…

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Mamata: Love and affection.
Usage: There is a surfeit of Mamata in the UPA nowadays.

Mulayam: Soft.
Usage: The Samajwadi Party suddenly went Mulayam towards the Congress in the Presidential race.

Manmohan: One who wins everybody’s heart.
Usage: Contradictorily, the Prime Minister is no manmohan even though Manmohan is the Prime Minister.

Adarsh: An ideal.
Usage: The Indian Army believes fully in the concept of Adarsh.

Satyam: The Sanskrit word for truth.
Usage: IT in India always goes by the Satyam mantra.

Barkha: New season.
Usage: The Niira Radia tapes heralded a Barkha in Indian journalism.

Rashtra Mandal: Commonwealth of nations.
Usage: The Rashtra Mandal Games was a showcase of the real India in more ways than one.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

New millennium health facts…

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Early to bed and early to rise…
…will make you go totally out of sync with your family, friends and the new millennium lifestyle.

Drinking loads and loads of water…
…will only ensure that you go to the bathroom regularly.

Saying no to junk, alcohol, eating out and snacking regularly…
…will make sure you lead a life where you’ll die early of total boredom.

Gymming regularly…
…is a sure way of wasting time and totally stressing yourself out without even having fun!

An apple a day…
…will make sure you die of starvation. You need other foodstuffs too, right?

Avoiding long and regular tea and coffee breaks on health grounds…
…will isolate you, make you miss out on office gossip, leading to depression, which will have to be treated anyway.

Wanting to sleep early and not watch late night television…
…will force you to lie for hours in the dark listening to other people’s TVs on high volume.

© Sunil Rajguru

2012 New Year Musings…

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∙ All the politicians of all the political parties in India have wished each other an extremely happy new year by soundly trashing the Lokpal Bill…
“No Lokpal! Happy New Year!”

∙ Cyclone Thane has wished South India a very Wet and Windy New Year.

∙ I would have wished all my fellow Indians a scam-free new year, but for all practical purposes it will be just another Scammy New Year!

∙ In 1752, the calendar went straight from September 3 to 13 to adjust the calendar.
Protest the lost days!
Celebrate New Year on January 12!

Absolutely faaltu 11.11.11 musings…

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∙ Today 111111 people will share 111111111111 status messages, emails, articles, facts and blogs (like this particular inane one) and waste 111111 man hours in the process.

∙ Is today is a good day for doing everything at the 11th hour?

∙ If 111 is called Nelson, then should today’s date be called the Double Nelson Day?
Or…
Did you know eleventyone is an obscure slang for over-exclamation???!!!
So better still, today is…
Double Eleventyone!!!!!!

∙ P.S. I missed 11.11.11@11.11.11!
I saw the clock at 11.40.
Now I am doomed to miss all such earth-shattering events 11111111 times in my life!

© Sunil Rajguru

How India’s Red Baron operates…

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Worker: Sahab, woh petrol to airlines ke liye hain!
Business Tycoon: Koi baat nahin, F1 main daal do.

Worker: Sahab, woh paisa to airlines ke liye hain!
Tycoon: Koi baat nahin, IPL pe udaa do.

Moral of the story: When you’re on a high, then the world looks totally different.
Handling that same world during a hangover is a different matter altogether.

P.S. Also overheard…

Retired Captain: Mere dhakkan main kya burai thi? Sasta tha par theek thaak udtaa to tha. Uspe laal rang thopoge to ye sab to hona hi tha na!
Tycoon: Ye laal rang kab mujhe chhodega…
Worker: Ab to peena band karo!

© Sunil Rajguru

Things to do on 11.11.11…

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∙ First jump on 1 leg, then jump on 1 more leg. (11)
Then balance your body on 1 hand then on 1 more hand. (11)
Then bang your head against 1 wall, then 1 other. (11)
Repeat this process when the time is 11.11.11.

∙ 11.11.11 in the morning on the date 11.11.11 is so rare that there will be a never seen before heavenly alignment that will grant every wish to everyone who asks it, no matter how fantastic.
The wish will come true after 111111111111 years.

∙ If you have a stopwatch, then try to stop it at 11.11.11.11 (11 hours 11 minutes 11.11 seconds) and frame it till 11.11.11.11, 2111.11.11.

∙ Watch Ra.One twice, then it will become Ra.OneOne or Ra.11.

∙ If you want to do good charity work, give 11 Rupees to 11 beggars at 11.11.11.
Richer people can give 11(hundred, thousand, lakh…) accordingly.

∙ At exactly 11.11.11, jump on 1 leg 111111 times.

∙ On the order of Pope Gregory XIII, the world went straight from October 4, 1582 to October 15, 1582 as a result of calendar adjustment.
Since we lost those days, purists can celebrate all of the above on November 22.

© Sunil Rajguru