Category Archives: Cricket & Sports

What goes around, comes around…

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Bowling coach (Before match): Remember, no matter what happens, don’t get injured!
Bowling coach (After match): But you had to take wickets too!

Indian fan to God: If Sachin doesn’t get his Mahashatak, then I don’t care what happens in the series!
Indian fan (Later): Err… that’s not what I meant!

Umpire: Here’s my finger!
Indian cricketer: Here’s mine too!

Indian fan: Go jump in the lake!
Indian management: Go jump in the kart!

First Indian fan: Imagine what Test cricket will be like once the Big 3 retires.
Second Indian fan: What’s there to imagine when we can see it so clearly!

Indian fan: I don’t care for cricket anymore!
Indian cricketer: Neither do I!

© Sunil Rajguru

In advance “Perth anarth” musings…

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Paint Sponsors
In a bid to increase its ad revenues, the BCCI is planning to get whitewash paint companies to sponsor the Indian Test team from now on.

The Lone Resistance Award…
…for the entire Australian tour goes to Virat Kohli’s Middle Finger.

ITPL anyone?
It’s time to rename it ITPL (International Test Premier League), get in coloured clothes, cheerleaders and the white ball.
That’s our only hope of regaining the No. 1 ranking in Tests now.

Mahashatak misses…
The ABCD of Sachin Tendulkar’s 100th 100 misses: Ahmedabad, Birmingham, Chennai and Delhi.
Now let’s hope LMNOP doesn’t happen…
Lord’s, Melbourne, Nottingham, Oval and Perth.

© Sunil Rajguru

Reference: Third India-Australia Test at Perth, January 13, 2012

More Sydney musings…

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∙ The BCCI believes in investing its future in the youth.
Hence it’s keeping all its investments safe on the bench.

∙ The Indian players cricket are not cows.
They are not interested in grass.

∙ The Indian players are really bad artists.
They can’t even draw anything!

∙ From now on the BCCI is going to charge double for its Test tours.
That’s because wherever the Indian team visits, it revives the Test fortunes of that particular country.

∙ ABCD of Sachin’s Mahashatak misses…
Sachin has missed his 100th 100 at Ahmedabad, Birmingham, Chennai and Delhi…
(Now let’s hope he doesn’t go all the way from E to Z!)

∙ Sachin also completed a triple century in Sydney.
He’s been searching for his Mahashatak for more than 300 days now.

∙ Conspiracy Theory #45
The BCCI refused to rest MS Dhoni for the tour of West Indies last year and this is Dhoni’s way of getting back.

© Sunil Rajguru

Reference: Second India-Australia Test at Sydney, January 3-6

Sydney Test musings…

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∙ The Indian team also believes in the homeopathic principle of “Like to cure like”.
They played their best against Steve Waugh’s Best Team Ever.
Now they have decided to play their worst against Michael Clarke’s Worst Australian Team in 25 years.
India is patenting this as their “Homeopathetic Treatment”.

∙ 4 Excuses for losing 0-4 in England… 1. Opening pair disturbed. 2. New coach. 3. Injuries. 4. Euphoria of World Cup win.
1 Future excuse for losing 0-4 in Australia… We are used to it by now!

∙ We are a team of chakkas.
Now I’m not being obscene, but just referring to six losses in a row on foreign soil.

∙ The Indian cricket team is very fan friendly. They wrapped up the Test in four days on Friday so that all of India could enjoy their weekend without getting tense.

© Sunil Rajguru

Reference: Second India-Australia Test at Sydney, January 3-6

Ghungroo ki tarah bajta raha Indian batsman…

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Indian batsmen are having a really torrid time on foreign pitches.

Please sing to the tune of Ghungroo ki tarah from the film Chor Machaye Shor.

Ghungroo ki tarah,
Bajta hi raha hoon main,
Kabhi is pitch pe,
Kabhi us pitch pe,
Wicket girta hi raha mera…
Ghungroo ki tarah,
Bajta hi raha hoon main.

Kabhi wicket toot gaya,
Kabhi bouncer se toda gaya,
Sau baar mujhe,
Phir joda gaya,
Yuhi out ho ke aur phir wicket pe aake,
Khelta hi raha hoon main,
Ghungroo ki tarah,
Bajta hi raha hoon main.

Main darta raha,
Mere teammates ki tarah,
Meri technique mere,
Mann hi me rahi,
Kabhi England main,
Kabhi Australia main,
Peet-ta hi raha hoon main,
Ghungroo ki tarah,
Bajta hi raha hoon main.

Pace attack se dare,
Ya spin bowling se,
Cricket ball ki jagah,
To hai teen stumps pe,
Phir kaisa gila,
Foreign pitches se jo mila,
Sahta hi raha hoon mein,
Ghungroo ki tarah
Bajta hi raha hoon main…

(Original Song: Ghungroo ki tarah.
Film: Chor Machaye Shor.
Year: 1974)

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru