∙ Sachin. Then: Bold. Now: Bowled. Then: Aala re! Now: Gela re!

∙ 2010: You simply can’t joke about Sachin.
2011: Did you hear the joke about Sachin?
2012: Sachin is a joke.

∙ Yesterday: Who has the guts to bowl right now? Sachin is here!
Today: Who wants a wicket? Sachin is here!

∙ If Sachin is God, then atheism is the fastest growing movement in Indian cricket right now.

∙ Mahashatak kab aayega? Woh kab retire hoga?
90% coverage in media in the last 2 years.
10% actual coverage for his game.

∙ The Little Master is getting littler and littler with every innings.

∙ 1989-2011, Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the greatest of them all? You my Lord Sachin!
2012, Mirror: I don’t know about you, but I feel old!

∙ In 2014…
Manmohan will retire and Rahul will make his debut.
Advani will retire and Modi will become shadow PM.
Sachin will retire and Arjun will make his debut.

∙ What will be Sachin’s last score in Tests?
50!
50 runs?
No age 50!

∙ Sachin to decide when to retire: Board.
My retirement decision with board: Sachin.
Ye pahale aap, pahale aap main aur do saal nikal jaayenge.

∙ Quote: Change must come from within.
Sachin: Retirement must come from within.

∙ Sachin favourite to grab 2-minute noodle brand ambassadorship from Rohit.
(Ref: Batsman goes in to bat, boil noodles. Batsman gets out, noodles ready.)

∙ When the match will be played in Delhi…
Rajya Sabha is adjourned till we have Sachin. He’s coming, he’s just gone into bat!

∙ The circle of life…
Sachin made his debut when he was 16.
Sachin will retire when his son turns 16.

∙ Bowlers on Sachin then and now…
1989: Ye baccha kaha se bat karega?
2012: Ye buddha kaha se bat karega?

∙ Sachin has enough time to bat in Mumbai and catch a plane to attend the RS session in Delhi on the same day. This is how he can balance two careers.

∙ Sachin defence argument #23…
How many MPs do you know who have scored even one international run?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru