Category Archives: Short Takes

More Rahul Gandhi prime ministerial musings…

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· Nehru: 1947. Indira: 1966. Rajiv: 1984. Sonia: 2004.
A new dynasty member comes to power roughly every 19 years.
So here’s hoping Rahul comes not before 2023!

· Rahul Gandhi cannot even hope to be be the greatest Rahul ever.
(Dravid and RD Burman fans may agree.)

· Some said that Rahul Gandhi’s speech was his Obama moment.
Let him become PM and then he’ll have more George W Bush moments than Bush himself.

· Rahul Gandhi will definitely save the Congress. 100%.
That he will destroy India is another matter altogether.

· An Abhishek Bachchan movie, 2004: After 15 flops, he finally delivers a hit!
A Rahul Gandhi speech, 2013: After 15 flops, he finally delivers a hit!
P.S. You only get one chance in life, unless you’re part of an Indian dynasty.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Rahul Gandhi prime ministerial musings…

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∙ Rahul Gandhi: The man with Zero achievements, a Thousand speeches, a Million sycophants and who’ll one day rule a Billion lives.

∙ Rahul Gandhi could not be made “working” President because for that, he would actually have to “work”.

∙ Ae mere watan ke logon,
zara aakho main bhar lo paani,
desh shaheed hoga ab to,
kyu ki Rahul banega pradhan mantri.

∙ After 1991: Rahul was virtually No. 2.
When Sonia entered politics: Practically No. 2.
After 2004: Unofficially No. 2.
Now he’s officially No. 2.
So many promotions to stay in the same place!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Aman ki asha musings…

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∙ Pak is Aman.
India is Asha.
Only Pak can bring peace.
India can only hope.

∙ Too much peace will leave you in pieces.
Some times it’s just best to stop talking peace.
Justice is far more important.
Respect our soldiers.

∙ Cong to Pak: Do not to test India’s patience!
Pak to Cong: We’ve been testing it for 65 years now, what’s a few decades more?

∙ Aman ki Asha=Chaman ki Bhasha.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

India male chauvinistic musings…

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∙ 21st Century equality…
If you’re an Indian female: Wear proper clothes, don’t go out at night and be submissive.
If you’re a male politician: Rape, murder, give hate speeches and rubbish the above female.

∙ A politician said the stars are against women.
He is right. They have been against women for thousands of years now and only men and women can change that and not the stars.

∙ Joke: The biggest reason for divorce is marriage.
Sum wisdom of our sick politicians and leaders: The biggest reason for rape is woman.
Reality: It’s always the man’s fault.

∙ When will they realize…
…there isn’t any harmless teasing in “Eve Teasing”, it’s downright Adam Goondagardi.
…there is absolutely nothing honourable about honour killings, which are in fact cold-blooded murders.
..there is nothing moral about moral policing and why even call it policing?
…a Godman is actually a Delusional Human.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Those Indian chauvinistic leaders…

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· The most dangerous killer for man is heart attack.
The most dangerous killer for woman is man attack.

· Once: Insensitive Statement of the Year Award.
2012: Insensitive Statement of the Day.
2013: We can institute an Insensitive Statement of the Hour Award.

· I’d rather be infamous than anonymous: The common Indian leader.

· Many decades ago, a lot of Indian women prayed for sons who would be sexy.
Unfortunately they mispronounced it as sexist.

· Politicians are pretty competitive by nature.
Right now there’s an intense competition going on in India over who’ll make the silliest comment over women’s issues.

· Overheard in heaven…
Q: Bapu, aapka naam badnaam ho raha hai Asaram ke kaaran.
Bapu: Arre, mera naam tabhi tamaam ho gaya tha jab 2004 main Rahul naam ka joker politics main aaya.

· Allegation: 95% Indians are stupid.
Fact: 95% Indian politicians have conclusively proved their stupidity.

· Dear Asaram Bapu,
Who in their right frame of mind would want to have a rapist as their brother? And in your particular case, God is responsible for creating people like you in the first place.

· 1980: The Gods Must Be Crazy.
2013: The Politicians Must Be Crazy.
(Just one anti-women remark after another like a torrential downpour)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Indian cricket musings…

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· The Revenge Series began after we won the 2011 WC.
Basically that means every team is taking revenge against us after that.

· Rohit Sharma is the only cricketer who’s Past is Continuously forgotten, Present is always Tense, but Future is always Perfect.

· Indo-Pak match fixed?
Chhodo yaar, life itself is fixed.
Haven’t you heard of fate?

· Tim Allen: I act in a TV show called Last Man Standing. It’s on Star World.
MS Dhoni: I act in a reality show called Last Man Standing. It’s on Star Cricket.

· BCCI: Dhoni hamara sukh-dukh ka saathi hai.
Sukh bahut dekh liya, ab dukh bhi jhelte hai.

· “Enough money to last 7 generations” quote remixed…
BCCI: Usne hamare liye itna paisa kamaya ki ab woh saat saal tak khel sakta hai.

· What may be happening…
Players: Seniors problem.
Seniors: Captain problem.
Captain: Coach problem.
Coach. Hands tied. BCCI problem.
BCCI: Problem? No financial problem!

· More than Revenge Series, the BCCI should start organizing Retirement Series.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru