Category Archives: Short Takes

India T20 WC final loss musings…

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India ki ho gayi WC main haar,
Ab ki baar Modi ki sarkar.

Cricket…
What the Yuvraj giveth to Team India in 2007 & 2011, he taketh away in 2014.
Politics…
What the Yuvraj giveth to Congress in 2009, he taketh away in 2014.

Change in captaincy?
Dhoni chooke lene ICC trophies chaar,
Ab ki baar Kohli ki sarkar.

Rahane-Yuvi-Dhoni: 18(36)
beat Kohli: 77(58).

Who would have thought?
After beating the greatest captains in the world, Dhoni loses to captains Rohit (IPL final) and Malinga (WCT20 final).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Ab ki baar Kohli ka waar…

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cricket-players-2027502_640Form is temporary, Kohli is permanent.

There is one department in which Virat Kohli is a total Zero.
He simply can’t play the dot ball!

Jab captain ho Dhoni,
Aur batsman ho Kohli,
Jab sub-continent pe spinners,
Tab India hai winners.

Gavaskar—King when Tests ruled.
Tendulkar—King when ODIs ruled.
Kohli—King when T20s rule.

Therefore, India’s slogan before every cricket match…
Ab ki baar Kohli ka waar.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

March 2014 Status Updates

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Earth Hour this month?
About a third of India has been celebrating Earth Hour for more than a Century now, ever since electricity was invented.

Polygamy, where Pol=Politics…
In India politics is wedded to business is wedded to media is wedded to civil society is wedded to politics.

(March 11)

The only successful Third Front may be the one the BJP is leading in Tamil Nadu.
#DMDK #MDMK #PMK

Now if this sounds familiar, it’s what Bush did back in 2003.
#Hillary #Ukraine #Putin

(March 9)

LK Advani: Be cautious of new entrants into the BJP.
P.S. Especially those who joined in 1987 and after.

(March 7)

Laloo is MA.
Akhilesh has foreign degree.
Kejriwal is IIT.
Foulmouthed Aiyar/Khurshid are Oxbridge.
We don’t need no education,
We’re all the same bricks in the wall.

Under Antony’s watch, an Army chief rebelled, an ex-Air Force chief was chargesheeted and a Naval chief resigned.
UPA2 motto: Land, Air or Water, we will goof up no matter what.

(March 6)

How many brutal TV shows and articles against Modi?
Thousands.
How many brutal TV shows and articles against Sonia?
Virtually zero.
#FreedomOfSpeech

(March 5)

Arnab interviews Modi in 2009, Modi loses 11 LS seats to Congress in Gujarat.
Arnab interviews Pappu, Pappu disintegrates.
Arnab interviews Laloo, Laloo loses MLAs, LJP, fights with Congress.

(March 2)

Jao pahale us MMS se Rs 2L crore le aao.
Phir us Raja se Rs 1.76L crore le aao.
Phir mere honour aap jab bologe main apna 0.2L crore lauta doonga!
#SubrataRoy #Sahara

(March 1)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet another round of Modi musings…

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The biggest Opposition to the Congress has been the Congress.
The biggest Opposition to Narendra Modi is the BJP.

The Modi Industry…
Stage 1: Fame.
Stage 2: Fortune.
Stage 3: Industry Status.
Stage 4: Very own political party.

The AAP media marriage…
Stage 1: Honeymoon.
Stage 2: Marital fights.
Stage 3: Divorce.
(When it comes to Modi-media, it looks like the reverse)

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, and finally they scramble to be your ally partner.
#NaMo #NDA #2014Polls

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejriwal the Aam Politician…

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The A to Z of Arvind Kejriwal…
A: Aam Aadmi is what I am, plain and simple.
Z: Z Security is what I accept, plain and simple.

Dharna.
Lies.
Stone pelting.
U-turns.
Lathicharge.
Chargesheet.
Private plane.
Z Security.
Indian politician: Sob! He is finally one of us!
#Kejri

1970s: Imagine George Fernandes getting arrested and blaming and attacking Morarji Desai non-stop instead of Indira Gandhi.
2014: Fernandes=Kejri. Morarji=Modi. Indira=Sonia.

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
—TS Eliot.
What a fool! I just take one U-turn and I am back where I started and I pretend to know the place for the first time.
—Arvind Kejriwal.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejriwal’s Theatre of The Absurd continues…

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Kejriwal: Paid media, paid media, paid media…
Q: Who paid for your private plane ride?
Kejriwal: Media paid.

Party of the TV by the TV for the TV in the TV across the TV inside the TV due to TV embrace the TV attack the TV live by TV die by TV.
#AAP

A future jail scene…
Convict A: I’m a drug addict and one day I went too far.
Convict B: I’m a gambling addict and one day I went too far.
Kejriwal: I’m a media coverage addict and one day I went too far.

What if you went to a movie and saw 16 back-to-back item songs instead of the movie?
That sums up AAP’s existence till now.

Spot the difference…
Attend swearing-in ceremony by small private car.
Attend media ceremony by small private plane.

Kuch bhi kaho, the NaMo-Pappu-Kejru political campaign may be the most entertaining ever in Independent India’s history.

Mr Clean Rajiv: Bofors.
Mr Clean MMS: Scam buffet.
Mr Clean Antony: Defence scams-disasters.
Mr Clean Kejriwal: Anarchy-hypocrisy.
Clean is the new Dirty.

The AAP wanted to replace BJP as the alternative.
Instead it is replacing the Congress as the most hated.

Brilliant team…
Kejriwal & Co. for activism.
Journos Ashutosh-Shazia to ensure media coverage.
Lawyers Bharti-Bhushan to defend them in court.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru