15,000 cops for VIP security in Delhi. Never knew VIP stood for Very Insecure Person
June 30

Mousavi: I ran for President and I lost, unfairly. Ahmadinejad: I ran and I won, fairly! Bottomline: Iran lost
June 30

monsoon comesoon
June 30

Strange attractors: Drugs and popstars
June 30

It is the duty of any government to come out with many statutes to counter changing political realities. I think Maya read that as statues.
June 29

Buddha’s 8-fold path: Fight 1. Lalgarh violence 2. Statewide Naxals 3. Mamata 4. Centre 5. Karat 6. Anti-incumbency 7. Singur fallout 8. Low party morale –> all at once
June 24

Federer’s theme song: “I want to break free…” (from Sampras) (He’s already broken free of the Nadal jinx)
June 23

For those still mourning cricket, har saal ek wish karo… 2009: ICC Champions Trophy, 2010: T20 WC, 2011: ODI WC, 2012: T20 WC…
June 23

Will Formula 1 become two?
June 23

My friend’s recession mantra: Less pay, less targets, less budget, less resources. But more pressure, more meetings, more ideas, more hard work. And Tension? Well “More” or “Less” is totally in your hands.
June 22

Will South Africa ever win a World Cup in their lives?
June 19

And reporting live from Iran is… er… Twitter! A social networking site as a window to reality? Web 3.0?
18 June

2008: Dada sacked. 2009: Buchanan sacked. 2010: SRK sacked. 2011: KKR sacked. 2012: IPL sacked (Coz by then there will be 16 teams, 3 IPLs a year and all the players will suffer a permanent nervous breakdown due to Fatigue)
18 June

Manmohan sahab ne Bharat ki Man ki baat Zara deri se batayi Pakistan ko…
17 June

Sigh! No more Royal Daredevilry in England. The Indian Knight Riders Charge has been brought down. From Superkings, we are mere Challengers for 2011.
16 June

Bravo India, you are at the Side and Bottom of cricket. From here, there is only one way and that’s up…
16 June

R.I.P. India T20 World Champs. Nice feeling while it lasted. Till 2011, when there are two World Cups. Hope we can get one atleast
15 June

When you watch TV, it’s joy and bliss. When anyone else watches, it’s a Royal Headache.
June 14

The more Pak terror rises, the more funds it gets, which further fuels terror, which gets more funds… And only India gets rammed. In this aspect atleast Obama=Bush. So much for change!
June 13

In India, 5 million children die of malnutrition a year. 5 million are HIV+. 3 lakh die of TB. Swine Flu deaths: Zero. And yet Swine Flu is the only disease that gets maximum airtime in the TV channels. Interesting. Very interesting.
June 13

So the media was right after all. There’s a rift between Dhoni and Sehwag. And it’s going to be a 6700km wide one soon.
June 9

Australia’s T20 status will now be referred to as the Ashes.
June 9

$1.35 million for 1 month+1 week’s play. I can see Symonds’ point of view of not wanting to play for Aus. IPL is a fab Retirement Home for Aussie Cricketers
June 5

Makes us realize how small we are. And how big this world is. 200+ air passengers can vanish without a trace along with the whole plane…
June 5

Every country gets the news channels it deserves.
June 5

If only the BCCI took off their 2020 Blinkers, then maybe they’d get some 2020 Vision.
June 5

Does anyone remember the Tiananmen men? (And to think, in Chinese, Tianenmen means “Gate of Heavenly Peace”)
June 5

I wonder why the Rain Gods of Bangalore get to work mainly in the post-lunch session.
June 4

Wisdom of the Son: You have such a nice office. It only gives. It gives you work. It gives you money.
June 2

Required for total peace in my house: 3 TVs, 3 Sat TV connections, 3 desktops, 3 laptops, 3 broadband connections, 3 soundproof headphones much better than the current Bose ones. I’m serious!
June 1

Australia is fast becoming the Down Under Civilization and if it doesn’t get its act together, its Globalization Act will go Down Under
June 1
© Sunil Rajguru

Last heard: Karunanidhi’s fourth wife’s fifth cousin’s brother-in-law’s eldest son has been made Deputy Minister of State for Family Affairs in the Union Cabinet.
May 29

Archie has no choice but to marry the millionaire’s daughter during such a severe economic recession…
May 28

Archie marries Betty/Veronica. Everyone loves the issue, but after that the strip dies a slow death. Then Balaji Telefilms buys the rights and makes “Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bhau Thi in America” and gets back its TRP ratings, drawing the youth audience, the oldies and the NRIs. The love triangle continues post-marriage. Archie ko kabhi mukti nahin milegi!
May 28

Dear Mr Mittal, The only thing your customers need is more+better towers and a helpful+polite customer care. It’s been noticed that the more Airtel ‘Grows’, the more the network ‘Groans’. Hope the MTN deal won’t strain+stress the already strained+stressed consumer. Regards, An Average Airtel Customer
May 27

How can a Virgin control the fortunes of a Playboy?
May 27

By the time the Bangalore Metro is finally ready, civilization as we know it would have ceased to exist.
May 25

Bangalore Bangalored in the final! An Aussie lifts the “Indian” Premier League cup yet again.
May 24

6 icon players. Sachin. Dada. Wall. Yuvi. Sehwag. VVS. Two IPLs. Not even one of them could captain their team to a single final! What a con the icon concept was!
May 24

If the Government performs and is stable and steady, won’t the TV channels get bored out of their skulls for the next 5 years?
May 23

Chennai’s Dhon it! Deccan fully charged. Ab “Vijay Kumble” kaho. Trophy se Dilli door nahin. Punjab isn’t sitting Preity. KKR Khan’t do Dadagiri. Warne ka Raj khatam. Mumbai Sachi in nahin hain re!
May 22

There’s no such thing as the Peter Principle. George W Bush rose 20-25 levels above his competency level and stayed there till the US constitution allowed him.
May 20

From Moral Policing in Mangalore Pubs to Midnight Dining in Bangalore Restaurants. Karnataka is finally making progress!
May 20

Sidelines Election 2009: A tiger cub mauled an ageing tiger in Mumbai.
May 19

Rain, rain, don’t go away. And still come again another day.
May 19

Hopes & prays IPL2 isn’t fixed. Too many matches going too close. Too many set batsmen throwing it away. Looks to be following some script.
May 19

Looks like a lot of Indians were secretly, involuntarily and sub-consciously part of the Save The Tiger campaign in Sri Lanka.
May 19

Swine Flew. Tamil Tigers finished. Sensex soared 2000 points. And KKR won!!!
May 19

Bangalore has two seasons. The Rainy Season. The Non-Rainy Season.
May 18

Nowadays many people are Singhing praises, something Missingh in the past.
May 18

In West Bengal, is Mamta the Fast Forward button, or is she the Rewind button?
May 18

The Indian electorate always votes randomly. They get it right once in a while. Maturity is impossible. Remember 200-year-old America elected George W Bush for 2 consecutive terms.
May 17

Spotted in a Museum: Advani’s Dreams, Mayawati’s Ambitions, Laloo’s Pride, Left’s Ego and the Ruins of the Third and Fourth Fronts.
May 17

Suna hain aaj shyam ko Manmohan aur Sonia ne Yechury Khichdi khaaya aur raat ko desserts ke taur par Karat halwa. Burp!
May 16

Released on May 16: The sequel to Singh is King. Expected to run for 5 years.

Jo Jeeta Wohi Singhendar
May 16

CPM: From 24-Karat Gold to Zero-Karat Gold.
May 16

Manmohanomics will counter Recessiononomics
May 16

Centre in Recession. 1984: Rajiv did 5 years with 400+ of his party MPs. 1989: Rao with 245. 1999: Vajpayee with 182. 2004: Manmohan with 145. Good news: At this rate, 2009: 100 seats enough to last 5 years! Jai Ho!
May 16

Driving directions for 2009: Go Left to destroy the country, turn Right for more communal violence, stick to the Centre for the same set of problems you’ve had for the last 5 years
May 16

Hey you’re in the middle of a Great Depression! You’ll recall these moments fondly in 2041 in your retirement home when the 3rd Great Depression will be on
May 13

KKR Management: No Seedhi Baat, Only Bakwas
May 13

SRK ke do k..k..kamzoriya… k..k..k.. k kiran aur k..k..k..k.. kolkata k..k..k..k knight riders…
May 12

In 1999 the BJP was in power, in 2004 Congress, in 2009… it doesn’t matter actually, the people are always out of power in India.
May 11

When the people want to punish parliament, they hang it.
May 10

Captain Gopinath for Prime Minister. He’ll start a helicopter charter Air Dhakkan for politicians and we’d be rid of their city traffic jams forever.
May 10

I never knew the Ad in Advani stood for Advertisements: They’re just all over the place!
May 9

PMs in waiting: 2009: Advani, 2014: Rahul, 2019: Modi, 2024: Priyanka, 2029: Arun Jaitley, 2034: Priyanka’s First Kid, 2039: Varun Gandhi, 2044: Priyanka’s 2nd kid… 2069: priyanka’s 2nd grandchild….
May 9

If Obama has his way, then Bangalore will be Bangalored!
May 9

IPL main dher saara Maal laya, phir bhi Vijay nahin ho paya bechara
May 9

Bengal has been leaning Left for decades. Hasn’t it got a crick in the neck and feel like stretching and maybe moving right for a change?
May 9

I hope the Third Front will be Left behind after these polls…
May 8

Aren’t you missing Bush? He loved India and the standard of international cartooning has crashed. No funny quotes and gestures, only goody-goody and boring Obama.
May 7

In 1934, 90% of Germany’s 95% registered voters voted for Hitler in a referendum. So much for high voter turnout being the solution…
May 6

If Cong wins, BJP will be Modified. If BJP wins, Cong will see a Sonrise. If both lose, we’ll all be Left in Front of a Mayajaal.
May 4

Strange Mathematics: The Greatest Indian Captain + The Greatest Australian Coach + The Reigning Bollywood Badshah = The Worst IPL Team
May 4

From now on, the swine shall be referred to as H1N1. Usage examples: This country is ruled by H1N1s! You H1N1! What do you think of yourself? That H1N1, wait till I get him…
May 3

And the Good Big Wolf ran away from the Three Little Bad Pigs because they had Swine Flu…
May 3

Chappell, More, Vengsarkar, Buchanan, SRK… poor ole Sourav can have a “Challengers Against the Royal Prince XI” play against him
May 1

Never enter into a fight with your children. If you lose, you’ll feel bad. But if they lose, you’ll feel worse.
May 1

© Sunil Rajguru

Yusuf Pathan for Prime Minister. He can spin India out of any trouble and hit its enemies for a six.
Apr 30

In every democracy, people get the government they deserve. To hum sab bhale logo ne peechle janamo main kya kya paap kiye honge re!
Apr 30

Does the state of Pakistan come with a self-destruct button?
Apr 30

Kadam kadam badaye ja,
Chappal aur joote barsae ja,
Politicians ki band bajaye ja,
Ye corrupt hain politicians sab,
Tu politicians pe joote barsae ja…
Apr 29

Have you noticed, for our kids, we actually “buy” the “free gift”. The biscuit/noodles/Bournvita etc that comes with it becomes the “free gift”.
Apr 27

The debate is settled! The Shoe is mightier than both the Pen and the Sword.
Apr 26

Laaga Ungali Pe Daag…
Apr 23

My Voter ID name is Sunil Gajagun. Should I change my name to: Quick Gun GajaGun?
Apr 17

© Sunil Rajguru