∙ Left hand doesn’t know what right hand is doing?
In Pakistan, the brain doesn’t know what both hands are doing.

∙ Feels like Dhoni was born and brought up in Chennai. Won’t be surprised if he stars in Shankar’s next film speaking fluent Tamil!

(May 29)

∙ Here: ISI = Indian Standards Institute
Elsewhere: ISI = International Standards Institute of terrorists

(May 28)

∙ The IPL has just split into the Indies Premier League and the Injured Premier League.

∙ Major Iqbal doesn’t exist.
ISI-terror nexus doesn’t exist.
Osama support system never existed…
Very soon Pakistan won’t exist!

(May 27)

∙ Current political roadmap for India…
No Left turns…
No Right turns…
But still long steep road ahead…

∙ Dear Bharadwaj,
Karnataka is not fond of Pratibha Patil.
Kindly leave her out of the equation.
Regards,
Even someone who’s not a fan of Yeddy.

∙ There was Houdini, who could get out of any situation, no matter what…
Then there’s Houdhoni!

∙ It’s either Gayle or Ghayal.
RCB is an Aaya Gayle, Gaya Gayle team… totally Gayle bharose…

(May 25)

∙ From now on, the Indian version of the Punch and Judy Show will be referred to as the Hans and Yeddy Show.

∙ Charlie Sheen was the only Man in Two and a Half Men.
With the way it is going, they should rename it…
Three Half-men.

(May 20)

∙ In case of midterm polls in Karnataka, Bharadwaj should be the Cong CM candidate.
He’s the only Cong face and his aggression may well help the state.
(In 2014, if BJP wins at centre, then BSY can become Governor)

(May 16)

∙ Petrol prices in India don’t need Viagra.
They keep rising all the time no matter what…

(May 15)

∙ US-Pak ties are like a terribly failed marriage where both parties are petrified of a divorce…

(May 13)

∙ If India had to retrieve its most wanted out of Pakistan, we’d require a fleet of A380s to do so, not a bunch of choppers!

∙ I am not ashamed of being an Indian.
I am just sickeningly and totally used to it all by now.

(May 12)

∙ Right now, the US government is fantasizing of doing the same thing to Julian Assange.

∙ Second Thoughts: All Pak Armymen begin their career in Abbottabad. So it was only natural that ISI’s biggest recruit began his career there under a new boss.

(May 10)

∙ Morning Show: Phas Gaya re Osama!
Noon Show: Tere bin Laden!

(May 2)

© Sunil Rajguru