1. Right to disrupt Parliament.
2. Right to bunk Parliament.
3. Right to be in Parliament despite being chargsheeted.
4. Right to rule even from jail.
5. Right to conflict of interests.
6. Right to nepotism.
7. Right to scams.
8. Right to arrogance.
9. Right to speaking total bakwaas 24X7.
10. Right to rule bureaucracy like royalty.
11. Right to totally forget the electorate between elections.
12. Right to Information.*
(*Right to “get” any information and not to “give” it)
© Sunil Rajguru
Statement: We believe in women empowerment.
Proof: Sonia is the most powerful person in India. She’s a woman.
Statement: We believe in reducing poverty.
Proof: We were out of power from 1996-2004 and a lot of Congressmen had become poor. But that has been rectified during our 2004-2013 reign.
Statement: We believe in freedom of speech.
Proof: The Congressmen say absolutely anything they want to no matter how offensive while Congress abusers on social networking never have Section 66A slapped against them.
Statement: We believe in cordial foreign relations.
Proof: The Pakistanis and Chinese are beating the crap out of us but we still believe in being friendly with them.
Statement: We have taken a tough stand against terrorism.
Proof: The country’s biggest threat Indian Mujahideen doesn’t even exist!
Statement: We will destroy our enemies.
Proof: If you mean Congress’ enemies and not India’s then a definite yes.
© Sunil Rajguru
Pappu says poverty is a state of mind.
Let’s kick the Congress out in 2014.
Then tell him: You are PM! Power is just a state of mind!
Pappu: Poverty is just a state of mind.
Comment: Strange statement coming from a person who has little understanding of both “poverty” and “mind”.
Diggy Raja: In his mind, Pappu is demanding a separate state for poverty.
What if Pappu became a stand-up comedian?
Wait a minute… he already is!
Now all his speeches make perfect sense!
What he actually said…
Poverty is a state (that is here to stay and I’m out of my) of mind.
You should celebrate Friendship/Women’s/Children’s Day 365 days a year.
Like Pappu celebrates April 1 365 days a year.
Rich man: Aaj mere paas building-e hai, property hai, bank balance hai, bangla hai, gaadi hai, kya hai tumhare paas?
Poor man: Errr… errr…
Pappu: State of mind… state of mind…
Poor man: Par mere paas to kuch bhi bahin hai. Khaana bhi nahin hai babu!
Pappu: Confidence… confidence… confidence!!!
P.S.
Dear Congress,
Jab Jab is desh main paap badhega tab tab jokes, memes, doctored pictures, spoofs, cartoons, parodies aur satires badenge.
Learn to live with it!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
(While the whole nation is behind suspended and chargesheeted IAS officer Durga Shakti Nagpal, the SP government has gone ahead and said that they don’t need IAS officers in the first place)
Please sing to the tune of Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd…
We don’t need no IAS officers,
We don’t need no Central control,
No dark sarcasm in the newsroom,
Communals leave them seculars alone,
Hey communals leave them seculars alone,
All in all the citizen is just another brick in the wall,
All in all the citizen is just another brick in the wall.
This spoof by Sunil Rajguru
(Original Song: Another Brick in the Wall 2
Group: Pink Floyd.
Year: 1979)
The whole nation rallied behind…
…Anna: Lokpal not cleared.
…Khemka: Zilch.
…Durga: Chargesheeted.
1 Politician <Greater than> 1 Million Protestors.
Statement: Durga, we are all with you.
What you think it means: We are fighting with you.
What it actually means: We are suffering with you.
MMS on Durga case…
“The rules have been laid down and the rules will be followed.”
Wow! That applies to each and every event in the country from 1947 to now!
What a sweeping statement!
Sonia writes letter to MMS.
Why, are they pen friends?
The last famous Shakti (Kapoor) was a Bollywood villain.
The next famous (Durga) Shakti (Nagpal) is also being treated as a villain by our politicians.
Durga… 1. Suspended. 2. Chargesheeted.
Two wrongs don’t make a right.
But two wrongs sure up the fight.
Akhilesh: We have built castles in UP.
Comment: But you have built castles in the sand (mafia land).
Why did you send a letter to MMS?
Sonia: I can’t tell whether he’s nodding his head or not on the phone.
Reliance: What you need is a videophone. Kar lo duniya apni mutthi main!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Funny isn’t it how the Congress with 27% Lok Sabha seats (2004-09) and 38% seats (2009-13) + 29% Rajya Sabha seats has got its way in almost everything?
In 2006, Jason Gillespie was sent as a night watchman in a Test match.
He scored a double century.
In 2004, the Congress sent a night watchman to head the government.
He is still batting!
44 bills off 16 days.
If BJP helps clear them: Match-fixing!
If BJP doesn’t: Negative bowling! Not in the right spirit!
Spot the difference.
44 runs off 16 balls…
Dhoni: Theek hai.
44 bills off 16 days…
MMS: Theek hai.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru