Category Archives: Indian Politics

Raj karenge Pappu-Pappini…

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From before 2004 we have been hearing that Priyanka will campaign for Congress and do wonders for them.
Pappu-Pappini are forever young, forever hopeless.

An average 21-year-old Indian has more achievements than Priyanka Vadra.
But still the media goes batshit crazy every time she’s rumoured to campaign.

Yesterday.
Akhilesh has a corrupt lawless cycle!
Today.
Can you give me a lift on that cycle?
#Pappu

Rajiv: The last dynastic Prime Minister. (1989)
Sonia: The last dynastic kingmaker. (2014)
Pappu: The last would be dynastic Prime Minister.
Pappini: Beyond hope, but they’ll still push her.

If there’s anyone with lesser achievements than Pappu, it’s Priyanka “Pappini” Vadra.
Media always dying to promote her and give her credit.
#UPPolls

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Mamata the Destroyer

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Both Obama and Trump treat Hinduism with more respect than Mamata.

Mamata turning West Bengal into West Bangladesh.

Madam, stop this drama!
Mamata: Hey Rong! You’re wrong! It’s dronga!
#ReplaceRamWithRong

Bengal…
1905-Partition.
1943-Famine.
1967-Naxalism.
1971-Refugees.
1977-CPM.
2011-Mamata.

Sonia ruined India.
Lalu ruined Bihar.
Mamata ruined West Bengal.
Mulayam ruined UP.
Kejri ruining Delhi.
Who cares?

“Advani for Prime Minister” is a persistent offline meme which just refuses to go away.
#MamataBanerjee

Didiji wants Dadaji to be Prime Minister because she is having a Prime Meltdown.
#DeMonetization

Total law and order breakdown in Bihar, UP and WB is not important because they are ruled by Modi Haters.
Citizens can suffer, liberals don’t care.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu will be Pappu no matter what

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2013…
Phata Poster Nikhla Hero.
2017…
Phata Kurta Nikhla Pappu.

Modi Kurta.
Phata Kurta.
Former made his own destiny.
Latter got everything on platter and still tore it up.

Pappu tore an expensive kurta with expensive scissors on advice of expensive consultants at expensive rally to prove that he is poor.

Pappu will retire only in 2019 when he gives Modi a second term and totally destroys the Congress by then.

Half-way through Modi’s term…
Pappu still Congress hope.
Kejri still doing nautanki.
Nitish-Lalu tussle, Mulayam-Akhilesh fight, Mamata ruining WB.
#Mission2019 bright.

Charles is his inspiration.
At 68 he’s still a Prince to the Queen.
Pappu is just 46 and a Prince to Queen Sonia.

April 1: Pappu Diwas.
Mother’s Day: Pappu’s favourite diwas.
(The only person on Earth who has faith in him)

Congress loves the minorities so much that it itself has become a political minority.

The CongRace has been lost.
Pappu came last.

Kejri. Nitish. Mamata.
Kahi pe nigaahen (CM ki kursi) kahi pe nishaana (PM ki kursi).
Pappu: Na nigaahen na nishaana, bas ghoomta hua parwana.

Looks like we will be discussing UPA scams even during the 2019 general elections.

1947—Netaji kicked the British out.
1991—Rao kicked the economic Communists out.
2014—Modi kicked the Congress out.
Nehru-Gandhi who?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri baba will do everything but governance

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Do we need our IIT graduates to sell detergents?
—Pranab Mukherjee.
No, we need them to do non-stop dharna, anarchy and nautanki!
—AAP.

If all the elections were held simultaneously, Kejri would be a CM candidate for 29 states and also PM candidate.

AAP planning 29 clones of Kejri for 29 CMs. Original will eventually become PM.

Odd day Delhi CM.
Even day Punjab CM.
Delhi-Chandigarh flight just 1 hour.

Garbage Chief Minister.
Garbage party.
Garbage politics.
Garbage city.

Raasto se karwa tak,
Is zamee se aasma tak,
Mai hi mai hu mai hi mai hu,
Doosra koi nahi,
Mujhko dekhoge jaha tak,
Mujhko paoge waha tak!
#KejriThemeSong

Kejri during 2020 Delhi elections…
I successfully blamed Modi for all of Delhi’s problems from 2015-20.
Vote for me and I’ll do the same for 2020-25!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

You never know which way Sidhu will turn…

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If Sidhu rejoins the BJP he will merely say that he was in the RSS in his past life.

In Pappu party nobody can take decisions but Pappu.
Sidhu: I quit BJP because I couldn’t take decisions.
(At heart always a comedian)

From BJP Rajya Sabha MP.
To potential AAP Punjab CM.
To Pappu’s assistant in Punjab.
#Sidhu

You never know which way Sidhu will turn

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yadav versus Yadav musings…

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It doesn’t matter who wins the Mulayam versus Akhilesh battle.
Both are equally bad rulers for Uttar Pradesh.

The political dynasty does not teach you governance, development or great ideas for the nation.
It teaches only one lesson spectacularly.
“How to cling to power”.

Kya idea hai sirjee!
No development in Uttar Pradesh in last 5 years.
Now focus will be on split and secularism instead of development.

Actual law and order breakdown in Bihar.
Actual riots in West Bengal.
Actual governance breakdown in Uttar Pradesh.
#Demonetization woes were far tame in comparison.

The Bicycle should be split.
Mulayam party election symbol should be Big Unicycle.
Akhilesh party election symbol should be Small Unicycle.

Pre-split status…
UP MahaMahagatbandhan seat distribution…
Out of 403 seats, Mulayam will get 403, Akhilesh another 403, Pappu 100 and others 50.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru