Category Archives: Indian Politics

Kejri-Lalu bhai bhai…

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Kejri took so many U-turns that he came back to where he started.
Then he did the above so many times he became a roundabout.
Now he’s measured by revolutions per minute (rpm).

Kejri was a disaster as CM in 2014.
He then got 67 seats.
Kejri is a bigger disaster in 2015.
He will now get 70/70 seats.
‪#‎LaluBearHug‬

#‎AccheDin‬ for…
Kejri, he’s a VVIP.
Lalu, he’s back.
Sonia, so much mileage from 44 seats.
Pappu, despite infinite failures, he’s still around.
Media, still attacking Modi 24X7 and not doing real stories.

Spot the difference…
He gave bribe. I didn’t ask for it.
—Corrupt official.
I didn’t hug Lalu. He pulled and hugged me.
—Kejri.

Biggest enemy for Delhi Police…
2011—Corrupt.
2012—Rapists.
2013—Match-fixers.
2014—Kejri.
2015—AAP MLAs.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi haters ka Raj abhi bhi chal raha hai…

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I am the 100% man!
100% chamchagiri to the Dynasty.
100% enmity to Modi.
100% uselessness to India.
100% usefulness to media.
—Mani Shankar Aiyar.

1 Mukhauta: Hardline Vajpayee pretending to be liberal.
1000 Mukhautas: Hardline supporters of Mao, Stalin, Naxalism, Congress-CPM violence pretending to be liberal.
‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬

Many Assembly polls till 2019, so more potential ‪#‎AwardWapsis‬.
If Congress returns to power they can have grand ceremony to return returned awards called ‪#‎AwardWapsiWapsi‬.

Whisper something bad against Modi and it becomes the lead.
Deliver a ton of evidence against the Dynasty and it mysteriously disappears.

Shastri cleared Nehru’s mess for Indira.
Rao-Vajpayee cleared Indira-Rajiv’s mess for Sonia.
Modi clearing Sonia’s mess for Pappu?
‪#‎NehruGandhiDynasty‬

Most Indian anchors are far more courteous, friendly and encouraging to Pakistani India haters in TV studios than they are to BJP leaders.

#‎ChurchAttack‬, ‪#‎LalitGate‬, ‪#‎AwardWapsi‬ etc is nothing but a dress rehearsal for the 2019 general elections by all Modi Haters.

A lot of Indian politicians believe in Swiss banks, Pakistani hospitality, Bangladeshi vote banks and Chinese style Communism.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu ban gaya #BritishBuddhu gentleman…

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Pappu’s computer…
Indan.
Spellcheck suggestions…
British.
Italian.
Infant.
Inane.
Indent.

3 types of people in this country.
1. Corrupt.
2. Keeping quiet about corruption.
3. Subramanian Swamy.

Indian National Congress was started by a Britisher (AO Hume).
It will be finished off by another Britisher (Pappu).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Raj karega #BritishBuddhu…

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Live in India.
Work in UK.
Vacation in Spain.
Holiday in Bangkok.
Ancestors from Italy.
‪#‎BritishBuddhu‬ = ‪#‎GlobalCitizen‬

Modi—Make in India!
Pappu—Ja be! I’ll…
Make in UK.
Make in Thailand.
Make in Spain.
Make in Italy.

Mera sair sapata hai Thai,
Ye nagarikta Englishtani,
Sar main laal buddhi Roosi,
Fir bhi dil hai Hindustani!

1989 Indian Express cartoon on Rajiv was titled…
How many countries can a Prime Minister have?
2015 version…
How many countries can a Prime Ministerial candidate have?

Pre-Mahatma Gandhi era…
Congress leaders launch Swadeshi movement.
Post-Mahatma Gandhi era…
Pappu launches Videshi movement.

If we had UPA3, then the Congress would simply have passed the Double citizenship act and all Congressis would have rushed for British passport.

Q: Please spell Rahul Gandhi.
Swamy: RahUKl GandhItaly!

Backops India was registered in 2002.
Now both Congress and BJP don’t want to talk about 2002!

India is Indira. Indira is India.
Pappu is Prithvi. Prithvi is Pappu.
Stop this UK-Thailand-Spain-Italy nonsense!

1 solid scam against the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty will get 1/1000th the coverage of a stupid statement made by some random Sangh Pariwar hothead.

Angrez Bharat chhodo!
The slogan that has short circuited Congress leaders.
Because Pappu is an Angrez from Bharat!

Pappu and Lalu will sing after Bihar victory and UK revelations…
Hum sab Britishwa hai.

In UK, he will be known as Lord Pappu the Commoner.

BJP sees Congress getting everything on platter and gets angry.
But when it gets something on a platter, it walks away.

Hum Angrezo ke zamaane ke politician hai, ha ha!
‪#‎BritishBuddhu‬

So what?
Even Mahatma Gandhi and Jawaharlal Nehru were once subjects of both India and the British Empire!

After close to 70 years of Independence, Congrez have become the new Angrez.
#BritishBuddhu

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi ka naam lete rahenge marte dam tak…

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Next round of Assembly elections in April-May 2016.
Till then India will be very tolerant.
It could suddenly turn Fascist in March 2016.

Most of those who use the term ‪#‎ModiBhakt‬ are…
‪#‎SoniaBhakts‬
‪#‎KejriBhakts‬
‪#‎LaluBhakts‬
‪#‎PappuBhakts‬
‪#‎NehruBhakts‬
…in that order.

Sonia…
1991: Handed PMship on a platter.
1998: Handed Cong presidency on a platter.
2004: Handed power on a platter.
2009: Handed dictatorship on a platter.
Modi…
Will struggle all his life.

BJP PM is working.
BJP Cabinet Ministers are working.
BJP CMs are working.
BJP leaders are talking shit.
BJP spokesmen are out of their depth.
Media is enjoying.

British media gives Modi hostile reception.
British people, Prime Minister and Queen gives Modi greatest reception ever for an Indian Prime Minister.
Which matters more?
‪#‎ModiInUK‬

Indian politicians…
Obama, please Modi ko ban karo!
UN Secretary General, please intolerance ka kuch karo!
Nawaz Sharif, please Modi ko hatao!

Modi kept the two giants of the Indian Right—Subramanian Swamy and Arun Shourie—out of the Cabinet.
You can’t win a media/communication war like that.

In 2014 had Subramanian Swamy been made the Home Minister and Arun Shourie the Finance Minister, things would have moved in fast forward.

Modi’s 5 biggest achievements so far…
‪#‎ToiletRevolution‬
‪#‎EnergyPush‬
‪#‎BlockbusterForeignPolicy‬
‪#‎OROP‬
‪#‎StreamlinedBureaucracy‬
Haters will scream he’s done nothing all the way till 2019.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#AdarshLiberals and Modi…

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The man who has been tolerating millions of pieces of abuse, slander, lies, false allegations and smear campaigns for 13 long years is called intolerant!

Modi gets 10 successive successes.
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ wait for failure and scream about that failure 24X7 through his next 10 successes.

Modi 99% good and 1% bad.
So focus 100% on the 1%!
Sonia 0% good and 100% bad.
So… ummm… errr… let’s not focus on her at all!
‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬

Biggest mass murderers of 20th century…
1. Mao.
2. Stalin.
3. Hitler.
Biggest riots under…
1. Nehru (1947).
2. Rajiv (1984).
3. Indira (Nellie).
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ worship 5/6 of above!

Modi lives in a world where he’s respected by world leaders, in charge of the Government and launching scheme upon scheme.
In the ‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬ world he’s mud.
Never the twain shall meet.

Modi speaks tons through speeches, Twitter, Mann ki Baat etc.
Then what is this silence business?
He doesn’t say what ‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬ want to hear.

Edwin Lutyens designed Lutyens’ Delhi.
Lutyens’ Delhi designed Loot-in India.

Jungle Raj under Lalu is any day preferable over Development under Modi.
Anarchy under Kejri is any day preferable over Development under Modi.
Destruction under Mamata is any day preferable over Development under Modi.
Misrule under Siddaramiah is any day preferable over Development under Modi.
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬

Modi is an overperformer in…
Building school toilets.
Energy sector.
Foreign policy.
‪#‎OROP‬
Infrastructure project starts.
Boosting our borders.
Tightening bureaucracy.
Jan Dhan Yojana.
…
Fir bhi log gaali pe gaale de rahe.
Jo kaam nahin karta usko chhod dete hai.
Jo desh ko bigaad rahe hain unki taarif karte hai. (Akhilesh, Mamata, Kejri etc)
Jo kaam karte hain sab unhi pe toot padte hai.

#‎AdarshLiberals‬ still hoping Advani will be BJP’s Prime Ministerial candidate in 2019 when he’ll be 91.

Evolution of Advani…
1990s: Super communal.
2000s: Communal.
2013: Secular.
2015: Super secular.
‪#‎AdarshLiberals‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru