It all depends on how you write the headlines…
2G/Ishrat/Karti scams tainted Chidambaram supports Rajan.
Nalanda University scam tainted Amartya supports Rajan.
NH scam tainted Pappu supports Rajan.
NH scam tainted Pitroda supports Rajan.
Ford Foundation linked Narayana Murthy supports Rajan.
Corruption crusader Swamy targets Rajan.
© Sunil Rajguru
Nehru foreign policy.
Don’t want
1. UNSC seat.
2. N-deal.
3. Official alliances.
4. Help from Israel.
Followers: Wah wah!
(He once sad he didn’t want the army either)
Modi trying for the same.
Haters: Loser!
#ChinaExposed has been going on for 54 years, beginning with the 1962 war.
Nehru was blind to it and Indian Communists still love China.
Don’t worry, by 2019, we will get both NSGs.
India in “Nuclear Suppliers Group”.
“No Sonia Gandhi” politics in India.
Congressis and their supporters will celebrate Indira Gandhi’s Emergency Day today by calling Modi a dictator.
Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty.
Before…
You are either for us or against us.
Now…
You are either for us or for Modi.
Rao ruled from 1991-96.
Sonia ruled from 2004-14.
Manmohan was nothing but a programmable robot for both.
You can use a robot for good or bad.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
According to sources*.
* 1960s: Real flesh and blood sources.
2000s: Made up sources to suit the news.
2010s: Twitter.
There should be something called “Reverse Troll” when you troll your troller in grand style.
Write 280 characters.
Tweet the second half.
ReTweet it adding the first 140 characters as comments allowed.
People will read it as a Tweet of 280 characters.
Traditional media.
Traditional politicians.
Traditional economic unions.
All falling like nine pins.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
India became 2-party system in 1989.
Since then…
Lowest Lok Sabha seats.
BJP: 85. Congress: 44.
Highest Lok Sabha seats.
BJP: 282. Congress:244.
Performance in last 6 Lok Sabha Elections.
Lowest.
BJP: 116. Congress: 44.
Highest.
BJP: 282. Congress:206.
Congress + BJP = 272+ in Lok Sabha since 1989…
1989 = 282.
1991 = 364.
1996 = 301.
1998 = 323.
1999 = 296.
2004 = 283.
2009 = 322.
2014 = 326.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Kejri doing time pass till his next working day on Thursday.
(When he’ll review #UdtaPunjab on its premiere)
Don’t worry, by 2020 we will have a film called #UdtaDelhi showcasing the total breakdown of the city by then.
Kejri won the battle which didn’t even really concern him… #UdtaPunjab
But he totally lost the war… #21UdteMLA
Delhiite 1: Par usne to bola tha ki main Delhi main bahaar launga?
Delhiite 2: Arre buddhu, usne bola tha ki “main Bihar launga”!
Kejri: Kya Modi bataaenge…
Modi’s office: Kripaya intezaar keejiye. Aap kartaar main hain. Aapk number 345678 hai…
Kejri was nausikhiya: Got 28 seats.
Did crazy midnight dharna: Got 67 seats.
Now he’s given such abysmal governance that he’ll get 70 seats next time.
Kejri said he would change the system.
He has spectacularly succeeded!
(He has made it much worse)
Mujhe PM banao, main poore India main anarchy failaaunga!
Voter: Pahale Delhi main karke dikha, fir dekhte hai.
Kejri: Challenge accepted!
Then…
There are cases against 40% MPs!
Now…
There aren’t cases against 40% AAP MLAs!
#Kejri
Kejri isn’t CM without portfolio. He’s…
Minister of External (Anything but Delhi) Affairs.
Minister of Information & Broadcasting Against Modi.
Zero portfolios.
Multiple MLAs out on bail.
21 extra parliamentary secretaries.
Water-power-garbage woes.
A million allegations.
#KingKejri
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
1999-2013: Nitish + BJP = Good governance.
2013-15: Alone = Directionless.
2015-__: Nitish + RJD = Jungle Raj.
Nitish = Water.
(Takes the shape of whatever vessel he’s put in!)
BJP weak.
SAD in shambles.
Congress uses riot-tainted Kamal Nath.
AAP was always a joke.
#PunjabAssemblyPolls = Ultimate battle of losers.
Lok Sabha has 546 members.
543 elected.
2 nominated by President.
1 nominated by #AdarshLiberals #SadhviPrachi
Lalu knew he’d get Jungle Raj.
Intellectuals knew he’d get it.
Lalu knew that the intellectuals knew he’d get it.
Some intellectuals, eh?
Most spokespersons in India are actually speaknonsensepersons.
If BJP boycotted all English media and embraced Doordarshan, AIR and all regional media, it would enhance their image and get more votes.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru