Category Archives: Indian Politics

Where is the money?

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In India, Black Money should be called Invisible Money.
Nobody has ever seen most of it…

2G Scam.
Kapil Sibal: There never was any money in the first place!

Harshad Mehta.
Income Tax Department: Where is the money?

Satyam.
Stockbrokers: Where is our money?

Fodder Scam.
Aisa hai bhayya, ki paisa ghaas charne gaya hai…

ICC’s Match-Fixing Department.
365 days a year: Where is the money?

A residence in 1996.
Sukh Ram: Where is my money? This is party money!

Bofors.
Congress: There never was any money!

Telgi.
Police: Where is the money?

Maya.
I have no black money. All white money and most of it has been invested in infrastructure like statues and parks.

Hawala Scam.
There never was any money!

Swiss Banks India Chapter.
Ha ha ha ha ha! LOL! ROFL! ROFLMAOAAPMP!

© Sunil Rajguru

Karnataka: Some questions and answers…

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Q: Who is the Leader of the Opposition in Karnataka?
A: The Governor.

Q: Why is the Centre not imposing President’s Rule in Karnataka?
A: Because it has already imposed Governor’s Rule.

Q: Why has all development in Karnataka either come to a standstill or is going at a snail’s pace?
A: Since an out and out pro-development CM SM Krishna was brutally booted out, subsequent rulers are convinced that the people of the state hate development and are working against it. Andhra Pradesh is also suffering for doing the same to Chadrababu Naidu. Also, corrupt CMs seem to have a greater chance of re-election.

Q: What is the land policy of Karnataka?
A: Equality for all politicians. Since it is perceived that the Congress and JD(S) have already taken over huge amounts of land, the BJP is desperately trying to achieve parity before it is toppled.

Q: Why is the Chief Minister of Karnataka not quitting?
A: If LK Advani can stay after the debacle of 2009, Narendra Modi can stay after Godhra, Manmohan Singh can stay after Adarsh, CWG, 2G etc, why punish poor Yeddy for much littler crimes?

Q: What does the future hold for Karnataka?
A: Not good I’m afraid. The poor electorate of Karnataka is totally confused. Was Congressman Dharam Singh the worst CM ever? Was JD(S) HD Kumaraswamy any good? Is BJP BSY the most corrupt? Is the Congress at the Centre totally destroying the state? Such questions usually lead to hung assemblies and general all-round instability.

© Sunil Rajguru

Some typical Indianisms…

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Voluntary Disclosure Income Scheme: A means of gathering money from crooks, thereby pardoning them, thereby creating a pool of money for even more corrupt schemes which can thereby create more crooks those who can then go ahead and redeem themselves when the next round of VDIS comes.
(Ad infinitum)

Party President: Ask the Prime Minister…
Prime Minister: As the concerned minister…
Minister: Ask the concerned officials…
Officials: It’s not our fault, media sensationalizing it, conditions are…
Elsewhere, the Buck stops some where.
In India, the Buck always plays a merry merry-go-round.

A Philosopher’s Worry…
What if none of this is true?
What if it is all unreal?
What if it was already decided by some higher entity?
A Cricket Fan’s Worry…
What if none of this is true?
What if it is all unreal?
What if it was already fixed by some top bookie?

© Sunil Rajguru

The truth about voting and party symbols…

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Desh ne Panja ko vote diya.
Panja ne desh ko thappad maara.

Desh ne Kamal ko vote diya.
Kamal murjha gaya, keechad keechad raha.

State ne Haathi ko vote diya.
Haathi ne state ko kuchal daala.

State ne Laaltein ko vote diya.
Satta main aate hi Laaltein bujh gaya.

State ne Teer ko vote diya.
Teer ne aam nagrik ko apna nishana banaya.

State ne Bicycle ko vote diya.
Bicycle ki tarah saare neta chod ke chal diye.

State ne Ghadi ko vote diya.
Ghadi satta main aate hi band ho gayi.

State ne Hammer & Sickle ko vote kiya.
Hammer ne sab ko thoka, Sickle ne progress ko hi kaat ke rakha…

© Sunil Rajguru

Contemporary Nursery Rhymes for Modern India

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Ba Ba Black Marketeer, have you any onions?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full!
One for the hoarder, one for the middle man, one that’ll get rotten and thrown down the drain…
…but none for the little citizen who lives in India’s every lane!

Little Miss Gandhi,
Sat on a turret,
Counting her achievements of the day;
Along came a scamster,
Who sat down beside her,
and frightened her voters away.

Raja! Raja! Yes papa!
Eating spectrum? No papa!
Open your passbook.
Ha! Ha! Ha!

This version By Sunil Rajguru