Category Archives: Indian Politics

Ho raha hai Bharat Barbaad…

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In 2004 the NDA India “Shining” campaign resulted in a BJP “Sinking” scenario…

Now the UPA is at it too with its Bharat Nirman ad campaign coming on TV channels…

Please read to the tune of the ad jingle…

Desh main utha hai ek toofan,
Sab se bhrasht hain Hindustan,
2G, CWG ki jo raha chuni,
Use naam diya Bharat Barbaad,
Ho raha hain Bharat Barbaad,
Ho raha hain Bharat Barbaad.

Lokpal ne uthae kai sawaal,
Par Anna aur Baba ko hi kiya pareshan,
Arrogance or dictatorship ki jo raha chuni,
Us se ho raha hai Bharat Barbaad,
Ho raha hain Bharat Barbaad,
Ho raha hain Bharat Barbaad.

Desh main uthe hai hazaro scam,
Arabo aur Kharabo ka na koi hisaab,
Swiss Banks ki jo raha chuni,
Us se ho raha hai Bharat Barbaad,
Ho raha hain Bharat Barbaad,
Ho raha hain Bharat Barbaad.

This spoof by Sunil Rajguru

Jab MF Hussain sahab zinda the…

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Jab zinda hain to joote pheko, jab mare to maala pahanao tasveer ko,
Jab zinda hain to nautanki artist, jab mare to sirf hamra Picasso,

Jab zinda hain to parties chup, jab mare to dukh khed aur Bharat Ratna ki baat,
Jab zinda hain to anti-national, jab mare to true Indian and Hindu to boot,

Jab zinda hain to har cheez galat, jab mare to har cheez sahi,
Life hi hain sabse badi galti, maut se badkar koi cheez nahin.

© Sunil Rajguru

Twisted nursery rhymes suitable for Corruption…

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Baa Baa, Black Sheep
Bah! Bah! Black money, have you any bribes?
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full.
One for the minister, one for his aide,
and one for the official who needs it again and again.

Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush
Here we go round the Lokpal bush,
The Lokpal bush,
The Lokpal bush.
Here we go round the Lokpal bush,
On each and every morning.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,
Catch the corrupt politician by the toe.
When he screams let him go,
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

Humpty Dumpty
Congress Credibility sat on a wall,
Congress Credibility had a great fall.
All the queen’s Sibals and all the queen’s Diggys,
Couldn’t put Credibility together again.

It’s Raining, It’s Pouring
It’s raining scams; it’s pouring scams.
Old man Manmohan is snoring.
He went to bed and bumped his head,
And he couldn’t get up in the morning.

Jack and Jill
Diggy and Kapil went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of supporters.
Diggy fell down and broke his crown,
And Kapil came tumbling after.

Hickory Dickory Dock
Hickory, dickory, dock,
The Baba ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The Baba jumped down,
Hickory, dickory, dock.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Some Congressi definitions…

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Fascism: A system led by a dictator like Anna Hazare having complete power, forcibly suppressing government and its corrupt ministers, regimenting all protests, agitations, etc., and emphasizing an aggressive sense of national pride by demanding an end to black money.

Thug: A professional arm-twister who strangles the government with his unrealistic demands like Baba Ramdev.

Anti-corruption agitator: Another name for an RSS agitator. Do you think the Congress government is corrupt? Then you have got to be an RSS sympathizer. Are you agitating against corruption? Ha! The mukhauta (mask) is off, you are definitely an RSS activist!

Corruption: Something that has dropped on the Congress unfortunately and unavoidably like pigeon shit. Hey! We are the white kurtas and not the pigeons!

Lokpal Bill: An unfortunate and unavoidable situation arising out of the pigeon shit as mentioned above.

Freedom of speech: Something which is guaranteed only to one and only one citizen in India out of the 1 odd billion, namely Mr Digvijay Singh.

Sibal Society: The true white and pure efforts of the Congress government. Its opposite is Civil Society.

Mr India: Manmohan Singh. Not because he is saving India like the famous Anil Kapoor movie, but because he is invisible.

Police State: Refers only to the states controlled by Narendra Modi and Mayawati. Since Baba Ramdev is a fascist thug leading thousands of RSS activists, he got what was coming to him just like Osama. In the process we have also proved that we are a superpower like US. Osama and Baba are two sides of the same coin.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Overheard 5…

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* First Congressman: I am afraid what will happen if the financial irregularity charges against Baba Ramdev will prove to be false. We will be in a really tight spot indeed.
Second Congressman: I am more worried if the charges are found true and he is indeed corrupt. Then he has a bright political future and could become a formidable opponent!

* Political leader (to himself): I am not feeling well today…
To his wife: …I think I will keep a fast today.
Somewhere in an eavesdropping police control room: We have an offender! All forces move in immediately to…

* First Better: So how’s business?
Second Better: It’s booming!
First Better: How come? People are actually following the India-West Indies tour?
Second Better: No man, it’s this whole Lokpal tamasha… Will the Lokpal Bill come or not? Will Baba or Anna keep a fast? Betting is most uncertain in this new business!

* Madam: I think you should learn to control your talk.
Diggy: But Madam! Rahul has promised that I’ll be his chief advisor when he becomes PM! We are just getting in sync with each other…

* Anna: Pata nahin, aaj kal bhookh hi nahin lagti!

* Karuna: Bah! Lokpal. PM. Anna. Baba. Maran. Bah! Nobody is worried about my poor little daughter. What a poor ole man am I!

© Sunil Rajguru

Anti-corruption drive then and now…

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Congress
Then: Can we eradicate corruption?
Now: Can we eradicate Baba and Anna?

BJP
Then: Hey Ram!
Now: Hey Ramdev!

Sibal
Then: Baba is the right choice baby.
Now: Baba is not only right, but far right and RSS.

Lokpal Bill
Then: Will it be able to end corruption?
Now: Will it ever see the light of day?

Diggy Raja
Then: Anna RSS hai.
Now: Baba RSS hai.

The corrupt of India…
Then: LOL!
Now: LOL!

The citizens of India…
Then: Aayega, aayega, aayega Lokpal ek din aayega…
Now: Aayega, aayega, aayega Lokpal ek din aayega…

This version by Sunil Rajguru